Memoirs of The Editor by laceym
by laceym
Summary: This story is preseries and actual series. It is told from the point of view of the Editor in Chief of the demon newsletter. It tells of how the editor met human hunters and in particular adventures with the whole Winchester family. I hope you enjoy it.
1. Chapter 1

_Memoirs Of The Editor_ by laceym

Chapter 1

I am one of those who first came to this place. I helped to organize it. I sit here in my little corner of Hell. I pass the time by overseeing a little newsletter. It is the official source for news in Hell. However, I should probably start at the beginning.

There was a war. It doesn't really matter any more what the war was about, the fact is that it should never have resulted in an open battle. We were to be obedient, but there were those who chafed at such restrictions. It is always a bad idea to question certain things. I have always felt that way. I have always been in the minority. So, it happened. My brothers fought openly with each other. Each was on a different side. It used be about harmony, and then it changed.

I never knew how or why it changed. I just knew that it did. I suppose it could have been ended with one word. But the word never came. So, with the battle lines drawn there was fierce fighting. In that battle, there was blood shed. I never participated. I openly lobbied against the fighting. I even tried in several instances to stop the fighting. However, I was not successful.

Then the word finally came. It was banishment. I watched as many who were caught in the middle chose to side with those who were fighting. None of us knew what was really going on. But they left and came to the surface. I was not banished. I thought about what had happened and I needed some time to think. So I chose to follow.

I walked the surface among the humans. I had retained all my abilities, unlike the others who had been punished for their part in the uprising. I chose to keep this knowledge from them. I wandered a bit. I took walks and spoke with people who were more than willing to speak to me. I also watched the others carefully. They were becoming restless. I saw where that trouble lay. So, I chose to join them. I had no other reason than to protect the humans. I was quite fond of many of them. They intrigued me the way that nothing else ever had. During my stay on the surface with them, I had forged friendships. I suppose that was in direct relation to the fact that I had been neither banished nor punished.

I then approached, their leader, he was the most lost of them all. He had never intended for this to happen. I doubt that any of us had quite expected that this would happen. He was willing to hear my idea. We would create a place. It would be a refuge for us who were now outcasts. In that place we could maintain a kind of order.

Then came the visitation. The knowledge that people who were not suitable for them, would be turned over to us. I always suspected that it was a way for us to earn back our place in terms of grace. I jumped at the opportunity. I lobbied and helped carve out the place that we refer to as Hell. Never in my wildest dreams, did I believe what happened, could have happened.

The longer we stayed banished, the more others became angry. That anger and rage became directed at the humans. The humans were to be the way to hurt the others. So much had been given to them, and yet they were undeserving of it. I began for the first time to actually feel fear.

Then it happened. The others took on different features. They were no longer capable of simply forming their essence into a body. They became black smoke. It made it easier for possession. Many gave themselves to this. A few others and I did not. Perhaps, it was the rank we held before. Perhaps, it was because we did not actually believe in the rebellion. I have no idea at this point. However, I suspect that this latest occurrence was part of the punishment.

But they missed having bodies. So the first possession began. The others believed their own delusions, and embraced a path that led them further away from the grace. I would still ascend to the surface. I walked a difficult path. But my rank from before the catastrophe, as I called it, helped me. No one chose to do battle with me. Then the others started to increase their number. They multiplied. They then set about corrupting the humans. They preyed on their fears. Then it happened. The first 'confrontation' of sort and there was death. It was now complete. There was no way to turn back. The course had been laid out and everything was now set. I began to wonder if I would ever be able to see the light again.

I established the newsletter as a way of maintaining my own sanity. I firmly believe that several of them went insane. They were corrupted and therefore became corrupt. One group, who referred to their own kind as Trackers, retained some of their abilities as well. They refrained from engaging in the different aspects and managed to save part of themselves. That was no easy task. I understood clearly their purpose.

The spawn, who, were born in Hell, did not possess the light of grace. They were born of darkness and therefore could only exist in darkness. Then things began to take a turn for the worse. The humans became easy prey. I was not comfortable with that. I had friends among the humans. I wanted them to remain safe.

But they were innocent. Therefore, I was left with only one alternative. I had to make certain that these knew what to look for. They had to be careful. They had to know what was in the dark. So, I ascended to the surface. I looked among the humans to see who would be strong enough to do battle. For it was apparent that they would have to fight. There was a whole assortment of things beginning to walk with them. They were ill prepared to engage what had become known as evil. I accepted it for it was, jealousy.

So, I walked the surface and came across an interesting thing. There were those who were my brothers, who had been ordered to teach the humans how to recognize evil. They were being taught how to banish these demons. Of course, these words were similar to the words of banishment, but no human needed to actually know those things. What was important was that they were able to see what was happening. They were able to defend their own kind. They would stand a chance of crossing to the other side and not be stuck with us.

However that was many ages ago. In that time I have ascended to the surface. I have watched Hell grow from my little corner. I have seen the people move from different beliefs and then return to the original belief. I have seen it been discovered, discarded and then rediscovered. That made things very interesting to me.

Now on these many walks, I would be careful not to look the same. I happened to see that the humans were pulling into different groups. Those who were open to the ways that were taught were soon vilified. They became outcasts living on the fringes of society. Which meant, that the very people who were protecting them were the ones they were likely to lock up and destroy. It was a situation that was not without irony.

So, on my many walks I befriended these people who called themselves hunters. They claimed to fight the supernatural. Which was amusing to me, considering they thought that I was human and I was the very thing that they chose to hunt. None of them seemed to recognize me. But they were looking for a possessed human. I was able to assume a shape so therefore I was not in possession of anyone.

It was some time during my walks that I met a man named Elkins. Elkins was obsessed with a gun made by Samuel Colt. I remembered that gun. It had been fascinating to watch Colt smelt that weapon. But then he had been told and had seen the disturbing things. He was willing to make a weapon that could kill any supernatural being. Elkins felt he was close to tracking down that weapon. I had warned him repeatedly to be careful. It was not worth risking his life for this thing. But, as with most humans, there was no heeding sound advice.

I left him alone at the bar. I was not in the mood for his moroseness. I decided that I would walk even further. I then ended up in another place. It was a place that was playing the latest thing that was passing for music. Some strange group that sounded like they inhaled helium before singing. There was no accounting for human taste. The human year at this point was 1984. It was in the middle of the year and I walked the surface. The people had changed. But then they changed when they moved away from the fields and began to live in these buildings that were made of metal. They had disconnected from each other and everything. It made me sad.

Here I sat in this bar, when I noticed him. He was a man who wore his sadness like most wore their coats. He sat still at the table. He was knee deep in liquor. But there was something about him that set him apart from the other drunks. I must confess at this point to being extremely curious. I walked to him.

"Mind if I sit down?" I asked quietly.

He looked up at me. There were lines etched in his face from grief. There was a tremendous sadness to his face and eyes.

"I'm not looking for company Miss," he said wryly.

I found that sometimes assuming a female shape would get me around the normal barriers that people erect.

"There's company, and then there's company," I replied.

He looked at me sharply. His eyes were trying to discern what I was…that made me even more intrigued. He had experiences that led him to knowledge.

"Look," he was being polite to the woman he saw in front of him, "I'm not interested in any kind of company".

"Don't make me sit here by myself," I decided to play the hapless female.

"What did he do?" the man asked, then he looked at me again, "Or is it she?"

"No," I shook my head, "I lost a bet".

The man threw his head back and laughed. It was a rich sound. But his laugh sounded rusty. It was something that he seemed to have suppressed.

I stood there watching his actions. He definitely had the signs of a brush with the supernatural. He was trying hard to forget what he saw. But it was far too late.

"I'm not that bad," I continued.

"Sit Miss?" he smiled.

"Kelsey, and you are?" I returned

"John, John Winchester," he continued smiling.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"John Winchester?" I smiled at that. I briefly wondered if he made guns too.

"Yes," John smiled at me, "like the rifle".

"Any relation?" I asked.

"I don't know. Probably, who knows," he shrugged. He toyed with the drink in his hand. It was at that point I noticed the wedding ring.

"Trouble at home?" I asked gently.

"You could say that," John answered grimly.

One of the good things about not being human is the ability to read humans faster than other humans. Something terrible had happened to this man. He was in pieces.

"Divorce?" I probed.

"Death," John smiled sadly.

I looked at him for a moment. He wasn't drunk. He had a drink in his hand, but he was actually sober. I sat up just a bit straighter. He had seen something. I recognized the signs. Something had walked in his house.

"What the Hell are you?" a shrill voice sounded behind me.

I turned and looked at the owner of the voice. She was a large woman, who managed to command the room. I stared at her for a moment.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I know what you ain't," she continued.

This was a psychic. Psychics were a group of humans who had emerged. It was part of the punishment. There would be humans who were born with the innate gift of recognizing our kind.

"Missouri, calm down," John said to her.

"John, do you know what this is?" Missouri was becoming agitated.

"No," John returned.

I narrowed my eyes. This was some sort of trap, or was it merely coincidence? I was unsure of which.

"Is it a demon?" John asked her.

"I don't think so," Missouri shook her head.

I was taken aback. Of course I was a demon. I lived in Hell with them. These humans must be drunk, and I was losing my touch. I rose from the seat. I walked away from them.

The woman called Missouri sat in my vacated seat. She was very angry. I trained my ears to listen to what they had to say. That was one of the good things about being what I was, exceptionally good hearing. She was speaking in hushed tones, but I could hear her clearly.

"John Winchester, are you out of your damn mind?" Missouri hissed.

"I doubt I was in any real danger Missouri," John returned evenly.

"You don't go looking for trouble," Missouri snapped.

"I'm not looking for trouble," John countered, "I'm looking for answers".

"In your case it's the same thing," Missouri shot back.

I actually liked her. She was my kind of human. I was slightly disappointed in him. He was exposed and was beginning to be obsessed.

"John, you got those two babies to look after," Missouri tried a different tack.

Two babies? He had children? Their mother was dead. He was the only parent. He had to be put back on the path.

"I want to know what killed my wife," John argued stubbornly.

He was stubborn. That much I realized. He was not the type to give up easily.

A man who walked in through the door distracted me. It was Elkins. My attention was now fully on him. He looked around the room purposefully. His eyes slid over me, paused and then moved on. I was not his target. He made his way carefully over to the table with Missouri and John Winchester.

"Missouri," Elkins spoke her name.

"I know it's you. I known it was you from the second your car drove up," Missouri snapped.

"Who is this?" Elkins asked.  
"Someone who has far too much in damn common with you," Missouri answered.

John looked from Missouri to Elkins. The rapport was familiar. It was obvious that they had known each other for a long time.

"So why introduce us Missouri?" Elkins asked.

"Because there are two little boys who need their daddy alive," Missouri huffed. She turned to look at Elkins.

"I'm the one you came to meet," John smiled at him and shook his hand.

I began to feel disturbed. Elkins was a serious hunter. It was always a severely traumatic event that sent a human hunting. This event was it. Elkins' experience was a nest of vampires. He spent his time hunting and destroying them. I had had to intervene on two occasions to keep him alive. But at the rate he was going no one was going to be able to save him.

Then I felt it. It was something that I had not felt in a long time. I turned my attention to the humans and focused on the man who sat next to me. I recognized him instantly.

"Raphael," I acknowledged him.

"Denri," Raphael nodded.

"I don't go by that name," I argued.

"Of course you don't," he smiled briefly, "What name are you using?"

"Simply D.M." I nodded.

"I see," Raphael's smile widened. He was always friendly.

"What are you doing down here?" I was curious.

Raphael took his time in answering me. He seemed to be studying me for a moment.

"Why do you always take the shape of a female?" he asked me.

"We had this conversation already," I reminded him.

"Yes, and you didn't answer," Raphael countered.

"I find it easier, to communicate at times, it's less threatening," I waved him off.

Raphael shrugged. He looked around the bar. He was observing everything.

"You should come back," he said finally.

I smiled to myself. Every so often one of them would engage me in this conversation. I should come back. I was never banished. I didn't belong with the others.

"Ever thought that perhaps I am perfectly fine where I am?" I suggested.

I heard a sound behind me. I turned my attention back to the three sitting at the table. Elkins looked particularly disturbed. Raphael had distracted me from their conversation. But it was the expression on John's face that had my attention. He looked even sadder than I had thought possible, and now there was the added look of terror.

"I saw her on the ceiling," John whispered.

"It was a demon that did it," Elkins posited.

"I don't know for sure," Missouri shook her head, "All I know is that it was real evil that walked that house".

"But why?" John asked.

Elkins and Missouri stared at him for a moment. It was as though they were debating what to tell him.

"You may never know John," Elkins stated flatly.

"What?" John's head snapped up.

"Demons unlike spirits or any other thing that is out there, they are in it for the pure destruction. They don't need a reason to do anything. Normally it's a good idea to get out of their way. In fact, if you come across a possessed person, exorcise the bastard and then get as far away as possible," Elkins replied.

"I know that this doesn't help John," Missouri said gently.

"Help?" John looked at them confused, then the confusion gave way to anger, "You're telling me that these things can just walk into our lives, destroy everything and there's not a damn thing we can do about it?"

I thought of those words. I glanced at Raphael. He wore a tight expression on his face. I was puzzled.

"You didn't come here expecting to see me," I deduced.

"No," Raphael shook his head.

"You're here for him?" I was surprised.

Raphael stared at me for a moment.

"When you're down in Hell Denri, do you keep a form?" Raphael asked.

"I tend to shift into different forms. I don't like to lose the skill," I smiled.

"If we were to both shift from physical form right now, would there be a difference between us?" Raphael demanded.

I pondered on that for a moment. "No, there wouldn't be. But then we were together in the beginning before the Great War happened".

"So you don't become black smoke?" Raphael prodded.

"No," I wondered where he was going with this.

"You don't possess humans?" Raphael continued.

"No," I was becoming even more confused, "I've never tried".

"Why?" Raphael demanded.

"It has never been necessary," I shrugged.

"Because you can take physical form on the surface," Raphael reasoned.

"I suppose," I agreed.

"I have always wanted you to come back Denri," Raphael said quietly.

That confession did not surprise me. Raphael and I were often together in the past. Whenever he was sent down to the surface to do anything, I always walked with him. It was camaraderie and friendship. A lot of friendships were torn apart during the battle. That was the reason that some of the brethren chose to remain on the surface. They did not go into Hell. They refused to join us there. They often argued with me, when we met on my walks. But I had my reasons for staying in Hell. There were times, when my voice was the only voice for dissent.

"The spawn is creating a problem," Raphael broke into my thoughts.

I stared at him for a moment. I knew what he was talking about. The spawn was created in Hell. I was firmly against them, but the others wanted to increase their number. I felt that anything born in Hell would be dark and evil. I was right. I didn't want to be right. But fortunately I was more powerful than they. I could fight them.

"It was a spawn who killed John Winchester's wife," Raphael said quietly.

I turned back to the man I had just met. A man who I liked from the moment I saw him. Then I realized why he was here, in this place and meeting with Elkins. He was about to become a hunter. His babies would follow him. He would not leave them innocent.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

This had certainly changed the way this particular game was going to be played. I wondered where the children were. So, after Raphael left, I stayed. I chose to follow John Winchester. I wanted to see these children. Demon spawn had killed humans before. That was how they graduated to full demon status. That was something I loathed. However, I was not in control, the management council was. A thing that from time to time gave me great fun. But now was not the moment for it.

When there were horses carrying people everywhere, it took time and skill to calm one down to carry me. But with the modern invention of the automobile, it was so much easier to drive. I often think that humans, despite their intent on self – annihilation, actually do have good ideas…from time to time. It was easy to follow John Winchester. He drove a 1967 Chevy Impala, black and very distinctive. It was an interesting car. Powerful and heavy, I smiled, it looked like the kind of car that could be hit by semi and still keep working. John did not seem to be overly concerned with being followed.

When I say did not seem, I meant that he looked casual, for following him to where he was staying was quite difficult. This only served to make me admire this human. It was going to be difficult. He was dealing with a murder. Murder unlike any other death for humans is the most difficult to handle. The only other kind of death that is close to it is an accident. But even then, it is easier to let go. With murder, there is the grief but there is also the rage that comes with it. The rage that must be dealt with and redirected or it will become all – consuming. I had seen this over time with various people. It was especially true of those who became hunters.

John finally stopped at a motel. He walked to the door, and paid a young woman who seemed to be glad for the money. I studied her. She was one of those who lived just outside of the rest of society. She was young. She looked like a runaway. I had met her kind before. It was difficult to protect them. I could always keep them safe from demons and other supernatural entities, but from other humans, that was beyond my ability. There was a rule of non – interference. One that many demons played loosely with. It was something that I had warned could come back and leave us with severe repercussions.

I took a deep breath. John was inside with the children. I wanted to see them. There was only one way left to me. I let go of the shape I had taken and allowed myself to assume my true form. I rarely do this, for it reminds me of being at home with the others. Light is attracted to light. I felt the resonance of the grace calling to me. I found that strange that it should still be calling to me. But I had to do this. I faded my light so that others could not see me. Then I entered the room.

It was one of those motels that had what I called an apartment feel to it. There were beds, a working kitchen and a sitting room of sorts. It was the kind of place that families lived when they moved from one location to another. On occasion I have stayed in places such as these. Not that I needed to, I simply wanted to experience these things. I passed slowly through the sitting room, where John sat perfectly still staring at the wall. I wondered what kind of a man he had been before. He must have been loving yet stubborn. I saw a small tow headed child watching him intently. He was adorable as children went. But his face was so serious. I saw a crib behind him.

I passed through the wall and stood over the crib. The baby lay there perfectly quiet and perfectly awake. I smiled at the baby. He turned his head to me. He then started cooing. I was surprised. Very few human infants could sense the direct presence of one such as myself. I stared at him very carefully. The child was a psychic. I frowned. I had heard rumors in Hell about psychic children being targeted. But I had dismissed them. I remembered what Raphael had said about the children's mother being killed by demon spawn. I took a step back. There was a plan that was being set in motion.

"What are you doing?" a small voice asked.

I turned my attention to the child. He stared straight at me. I knew that I was not visible. Their mother had to have been either psychic or from a matrilineal line of psychics. Matrilineal heritage tended to be stronger. If both parents were from such lines, the children were often powerful. However, not all children manifested these abilities overtly. It could be the same with this child. He could forget what he can do. It would not be uncommon given the kind of life he was being initiated into.

"I'm doing nothing," I answered.

The boy looked at me. He was unafraid. I smiled at him.

"Are you an angel?" he asked.

"Perhaps, why do you ask?" I was curious.

"My mommy said that angels were watching over us," he replied.

"Angels do watch over people," I told him.

"Why did my mommy die?" he asked as tears filled his eyes.

I was at a loss for words. I had no idea how to respond to his pain. It was larger than his little body could handle. I saw a shadow move. It was John.

"Dean?" John called.  
"Yes Daddy?" Dean answered.

"Who are you talking to?" John asked.

"An angel Daddy," Dean replied.

I smiled at the innocence. Then the door was pushed open. John looked frantically around the room. But there was nothing there.

"Dean, where is the angel?" John asked him.

Dean pointed directly at me. I waited to see what would happen.

John picked Dean up in one hand and grabbed the baby with the other. He walked out of the room, and then returned.

"I don't know what you are, and I don't care, leave my family alone," John stated grimly.

I gave no answer but I also did not leave.

"You hear me you son of a bitch!" John shouted, "You've taken enough from me. You're not taking any more".

I turned to leave and then saw the little head peering through the door.

"The angel's not evil Daddy," Dean said quietly.

"Dean! I told you to watch your brother!" John growled at him.

Dean jumped a little. His eyes widened at the tone his father had used with him.

"Sammy's okay Daddy. The angel's not evil," Dean repeated.

"How do you know?" John demanded.

"Because, there was a lot of light. It was peaceful. Sammy didn't even cry," Dean explained.

John's face creased in a frown. He was silent.

I did not need him to say anything. I knew what was going through his head. John had come face to face with evil. He was facing the fact that things he had dismissed were real. It was a thing that would drive most people crazy. The ones who weren't driven crazy became obsessed. It was this latter choice that concerned me. He had two babies to take care of. Their mother was dead and it was up to him to ensure that they were safe. I eyed him with suspicion. Would he change? Would he remember that his first priority was his children?

I watched them for a while. I waited to see what would happen next.

"Dean, you're five years old," John said softly.

"I know how old I am. I also know that you're wrong," Dean argued.

I raised an eyebrow at that. He was certainly a great deal older than five. However I reasoned that tragedy had a way of aging children in a way that no one ever thought was possible. Dean was convinced that he was right. I wondered if he would retain that courage in a few years.

I exited the room. I could hear John arguing with his son. I smiled at that. I had known humans for a long time. In that time I had yet to see a parent win an argument with a five year old. It usually ended in tears and shouting. I walked back to the baby. Dean had said his name was Sammy. Sammy turned to me and did not cry. I stared at him for a moment. I could see that there was something that was not quite right. I leaned over the baby. I saw the traces of what had been done. It was too late to reverse it. Had I been present with 48 hours of the infection, I could have reversed it and made him normal again. Now I was several months too late. I thought about what I could do.

I left the motel room. I was confused for a moment. Then I stopped. I knew he was there. He had not followed me, which meant that he knew where John Winchester was staying.

"Didn't do a good job of watching over them Raphael," I accused.

Raphael stepped out of the shadows. He glared at me for a moment. I assumed a physical form again.

"Can you undo it Denri?" he asked.

"It's not that simple," I answered.

"You are more powerful than the one that did this," Raphael argued.

I looked at him for a moment. The meeting was not a chance thing at all.

"You don't want me to come back," I deduced.

"Yes, we want you back," Raphael shook his head, "But neither you nor the others would be willing to come back".

"No one understands the reasons," I nodded.

Raphael said nothing.

"I can't undo it," I told him.

"Why?" he demanded.

"It's too late. It was done months ago," I shrugged.

Raphael looked away from me. His attention was caught by something else. I turned to see what he was looking at. It was John Winchester. He was standing just outside the door. The pain was etched clearly on his face. It moved me to compassion.

"There must be something," Raphael pleaded.

"Why don't you," I stopped. They couldn't interfere. It was one of the rules. But I was outside the rules. I was one who actually lived in Hell. Therefore I could interfere or at least ameliorate.

"Whatever I do cannot undo it," I explained.

"That's okay," Raphael nodded.

"What are the others saying?" I demanded.

"There are no others," Raphael declared.

"I'm not a fool. I live in Hell with demons and they always lie," I glared at him.

Raphael smiled. I shook my head.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I was now stuck in a quandary. I had to find a way to make what was done to little Sammy Winchester less dangerous. I knew that he had been bonded by blood. It was a reprehensible thing. The problem was that once it was done, it was a difficult thing to undo. I had managed to reverse this several times. However, I had discovered these things within 48 hours. I sat and thought about it. I needed help. There was only one being that I could turn to, and that was a First.

Firsts were like me, who had come to the surface after the Great War. But unlike me, they had never descended into Hell. Several of them openly opposed the actions of the demons and I was in no doubt that they were also responsible for helping human hunters fight the elements of the supernatural. I knew where one was nearby. His name was Richard.

Richard lived a human existence. He was a loner. He had managed to convince people that he was a paranoid recluse. I smiled when I arrived at his place. He had the usual talisman in place. I touched it.

"Does this thing work Richard?" I called to him.

"Not on you," Richard replied.

I smiled at that. Richard sat on the steps leading to the porch.

"Interest you in a beer Denri?" Richard offered.

"Kelsey," I returned.

"When did you pick that one?" Richard sounded amused.

"In a bar the other night," I grinned.

"Oh, sex with humans is a bad idea," Richard nodded.

"It had nothing to do with sex. Besides I don't understand it," I shrugged.

"Of course not, you're down in Hell with those…wait a minute, you should, they're pretty obsessed with it," Richard argued.

"I said I didn't understand it. I never said I didn't know about it," I pointed out.

"Oh. So what brings you here?" Richard questioned.

"Could I not just wish to see you?" I retorted.

"No," Richard shook his head.

I smiled, "I have to figure out a way to minimize a bonding".

Richard stood and went into the house. He returned with two beers. I took a sip of the one he gave me. He drank from the other. I must confess that while on the surface I would partake in human food and drink, but it made no real difference to me.  
"You're still too much of an angel," Richard observed.  
"As you pointed out I live in Hell," I contradicted.

"Yes, but you're still too much of an angel," Richard continued.

I sat there waiting for him to finish. He was not one to be rushed.

Richard was staring at me intently. I was puzzled by this act. I shrugged and continued drinking my beer.

"Well," he said finally, "you passed the test".

I frowned at him, "What test?"

"There's holy water in the beer," he told me.

I raised an eyebrow at him. He laughed.

"Tell me, do the others in Hell know that you're not a demon?" Richard asked.

This was the second time I was being asked this. "You've been talking to Raphael?"

"No," Richard paused, "You?"

I nodded. Richard pursed his lips and stared off into the distance.

"What?" I wanted to know what was going on.

"It's nothing," Richard deflected.

"I'm not a fool," I pressed.

"Look, I'll help you, but you have to help me," he said.

"Make a deal?" I was curious. In all the time I had known Richard he was never one for making deals.

"Yes, I'll tell you how to minimize the bonding. You'll help me with a hunter," Richard bargained.

Richard needed help with a hunter? I was both curious and confused. Richard had never tangled with human hunters before. What had happened?

"A hunter is hunting you?" I tried to keep the amusement out of my voice.

Richard gave me a withering look.

"No, I'm mentoring him," he replied.

I sat up straighter. "You do know that holy water is actually ineffective against us and the older spawn?"

"This is specially calibrated holy water," Richard chuckled.

I shuddered. This was specially calibrated holy water? What would they come up with next?

"Whose idea?" I asked.

"The human hunter," Richard's smile widened.

"How is it specially calibrated?" I wanted to know.

"It's blessed to affect demons and all things that come out of Hell," Richard grinned at me.

At that point I was actually moved to violence. I only believe in violence as a last resort. But at that moment I would have gladly traded everything for a flaming sword. I was tricked. Richard had tricked me. Then I calmed down. A human hunter had fixed holy water in such a way that it would affect anything that came out of Hell. I was out of Hell, yet I was unaffected.

"It should affect me," I argued.

"No, I didn't expect it to," Richard countered.

"Why?"

"Because you're not a demon," he said quietly.

I shook my head. Richard sighed. Then in a tone that one would use with a small child he explained, "You were never banished. In fact, everyone was surprised when you left. You chose to come down here. Then you chose to help them form that place. In fact, you even chose to stay with them. But you need to remember why you chose to do those things," he paused.

I let his words sink in and then he continued.

"You are there for the express purpose of protecting humans. You never left your charge or duty, you simply changed locations, which means that you are not one of them".

I nodded. That made a vague kind of sense to me. It would explain why I had retained all of my abilities. It would also explain why little Dean and Sammy were unafraid. I could still hear the small voice say "The angel's not evil".

"When you change from physical form you hear the grace calling to you, don't you?" he asked.

"Yes," I nodded.

Richard nodded. "We always suspected as much, those of us who have remained here on the surface".

"So, what is the problem with this hunter of yours?" I asked.

"My problem is that he's obsessed," Richard confessed.

"They all are," I replied thinking not only of Elkins but also of John Winchester.

"I need you to keep him alive for the next 48 hours," Richard looked at me directly.

I opened my eyes. Richard needed me to keep a human hunter alive for 48 hours? I didn't think I was going to like this.

"How am I supposed to achieve this?" I demanded.

"Raphael," Richard shrugged.

"And you'll help me with Sammy?" I clarified.

"As an act of good faith, I'll go with you now," Richard stood and went inside the house.

I stayed there on the front steps. My mind was reeling from these things. I had not done such negotiations since Faust. That was certainly a bit of twisting and turning. I waited for Richard to return. He came down the steps having changed his clothes.

"We'll take my car," Richard offered.

I nodded my assent. I followed him into the car. It was pickup truck. I had no problem getting into the vehicle. We drove past a junkyard. Richard turned the truck in the direction of the building. I frowned at him but said nothing. He stopped.

"Your name is Kelsey?" Richard asked.

"Yes," I answered.

"This was the form you had the other night?" Richard questioned.

I looked at my reflection, "Yes, this is how I looked the other night".

"Does Elkins know you in this guise?" Richard prodded.

"No," I shook my head, "Elkins knows me as an old man".

Richard laughed at that, "You were always partial to the female form, why an old man?"

"I felt that he would have been more responsive to an old man than a young woman," I shrugged.

Richard continued chuckling.

"Why are we stopping here?" I asked.

"Because we're picking up the hunter and then going to where that child is that you want to help," he explained.

"Oh," I nodded.

Richard moved the car the front of the yard. He parked the car and a man who looked about John Winchester's age came out the front door with a shotgun raised.  
"Now Bobby, it's me Rick," Richard said calmly as he got out the truck.

I stayed where I was.

"Who is that with you?" Bobby growled.

"She's a friend who can help," Richard explained.

"No one can help me," Bobby argued.

"She can and she will," Richard countered.

I didn't know what plan was being hatched inside of Richard's mind, but I felt it was imperative for me to remain still.

"You going to shoot me Bobby?" Richard asked.

Bobby looked as though he were contemplating just that. He then lowered the shotgun. I at that point opened the truck door. I saw Bobby frown as he examined me with his eyes.

"She's a lot tougher than she looks," Richard smiled.

"I hope so," Bobby retorted.

"Let me introduce you," Richard took a step forward, "Kelsey this is Bobby Singer".

"Pleasure to meet you ma'am," Bobby nodded at me.

"Nice meeting you too Bobby," I glanced at Richard. I plotted in my head what I would do to him if he didn't make good on his part of the bargain.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I studied this man before me. This Bobby Singer who looked frightened. But behind the fear lay a firm resolve. I have always felt that a healthy dose of fear kept humans out of trouble. Bobby kept rubbing his knuckles. He was lost. He had hardened.

"Do I ask?" I whispered to Richard.

"No," Richard shook his head.

I sat back and said nothing. We were headed back to where I had left John Winchester and his family. I noticed that John was packing up his gear. I had a thought. It was a brilliant one. But I wasn't sure if it would work. Richard parked the car while I jumped out and walked quickly towards him.

"John Winchester," I called to him.

John turned and recognized me. At least that was a good sign. He also smiled. I stopped for a moment. A human woman would have been devastated by that smile. I wondered which of his sons would inherit his smile. Women would be in serious trouble if they both did.

"Kelsey?" John replied.

"Yes," I nodded, "You remembered my name".

"I also recalled that Missouri accused you of not being human," John returned evenly.

I stopped. I studied him for a moment. He was smart. That intelligence would save him.

I knew that Richard had come up behind me. John acknowledged him and then he saw Bobby. John looked back at the room where Dean stood in the doorway holding on to the stroller with Sammy in it. His eyes narrowed as he quickly calculated what to do.

"You brought kids with you?" Bobby spoke.

John focused on him, "I am not leaving my children".

"You can't hunt and carry two babies with you!" Bobby exclaimed.

"Their mom is dead." John said evenly, "I can't exactly leave them anywhere. Social Services Agency is already after me".

Richard stared for a moment. He pulled me aside. "What killed his wife?"

"Raphael said it was a spawn," I hissed.

"So the spawn did the bonding?" Richard questioned.

"Yes," I whispered.

"Does he know?" Richard continued.

"About the bonding? No, but he's smart," I shook him off.

Bobby by this time was standing next to Dean. John was watching him attentively, but Dean wrapped an arm around Bobby's leg. That child was a good judge of character. John reassessed the situation. Bobby turned to us.

"How are you going to protect me?" he looked directly at me.

"I'm going to call in a favor," I smiled.

"How big a favor?" Richard asked.

"One that will come back to bite me, I'm certain," I muttered.

Richard chuckled.

"Just make sure that you fix the problem," I threatened.

Richard looked at me.

John turned his head in my direction. He wore a puzzled expression. Dean stepped forward. He simply ran over to me and I picked him up. John took a step forward. I placed my lips on Dean's ear… I whispered the way all angels whisper to children. His reaction was laughter. He nodded his head. I put him down and he raced back to the stroller. John's frown deepened. Bobby wore a similar expression.

"Rick, just what is she?" Bobby asked.

"Someone who will help," Richard repeated.

I smiled. I couldn't exactly explain that I was an angel who lived in Hell. That sounded strange in my head, I could just imagine their expressions if I were to tell them that out loud.

"Don't worry about it," I told them, "Let's go to where you will be safe".

They all nodded. Bobby fell into company easily with John. I felt it was the children who had won him over. Those children could melt anyone's heart.

I walked to the pickup truck. I got in, while Bobby got into the John's car with him and the boys. I glanced at Richard. He nodded his head. We followed them back to Bobby's place. Richard had decided that was the best place. We parked the vehicles and then I followed Richard as he began to teach them how to protect the place. Richard drew symbols on the doors. I stood for a moment. Then I remembered something that I had seen Elkins do.

"Bobby, do you have any rock salt?" I asked.

John stood straight. He frowned for a moment, "Rock salt?"

"Yes," I nodded.

"Are you crazy?" Bobby demanded, "It's not winter".

"A circle of salt is protection," I told them.

Richard stopped in mid – drawing, "What?"

"Elkins swears by it," I said.

"How do you know Elkins?" John demanded.

"A guy like that gets around," I answered carefully, "In fact, he's mentored quite a few hunters. He really knows his stuff".

"Rock salt huh?" Bobby scratched his chin, "I heard about that and cats eye shells".

"Whatever works," John declared.

I breathed more easily. Working this closely with hunters was something that I had never really done before. I had always simply done my thing and that was without their direct knowledge. I had been protecting Elkins for almost 20 years. But he didn't know that. He didn't need to know that. In fact, I realized that I was about to spread my net in a manner of speaking.

They went about setting the rock salt. I walked out of the house. I stood on the porch and saw Raphael waiting for me. I sighed. Now was the moment of the deal. I looked back at Richard. He had seen Raphael as well. He nodded. I walked out to meet him.

"Preparing for war?" Raphael asked.

"Sort of," I shrugged.

"Have you fixed it?" he asked.  
"I'm working on it," I answered.

"Denri, you must fix this," Raphael insisted.

"You have the power to fix this thing," I snapped at him.

Raphael studied me for a moment. He stared for a moment into the distance, "You know that we cannot interfere".

"But you're asking me to do so," I argued.

"You can't reverse it Denri," Raphael smiled.

I stood perfectly still. They didn't want it reversed. They wanted it tempered. But they had a plan. I narrowed my eyes slightly.

"This is an innocent child," I growled.

"Yes," Raphael nodded, "and a demon spawn entered his house, stood in his nursery and fed him his blood".

"It is a clear violation of Free Will," I frowned.

"You remember the beginning?" Raphael pointed out.

I huffed at him. Of course I remembered the beginning. I helped to write the laws that ensured the creation of Hell.

"What is your point?" I asked him.

"My point is, that you have the power to temper, and we're asking you to do so".

"You have to do something for me," I told him.

Raphael nodded.

"You need to help me keep a human hunter alive for the next 48 hours," I said.

Raphael stared at me for a moment. He was considering this request.

"A life for a life?" I bargained.

"The life of this hunter for the child?" Raphael stated.

"Yes," I nodded.

"No," Raphael said.

"Why not?" I demanded.

"In order to do that we have to engage the demons, that is worth more than what we are asking of you".

I actually hated the fact that they tended to know everything. I was not going to be beaten. I was prepared for this. I knew this was going to come back to bite me.

"We will help, but you will have to complete the task later," Raphael said to me.

I nodded. I had promised Richard so that I could help the baby. I wanted to help the baby.

Raphael nodded. He then walked away from me and I made my way back to the house. Richard was waiting. He said nothing at first. Then he followed me into the main room. Bobby and John were sitting drinking beer.

"Laced with holy water?" I asked.

Bobby smiled at me. I turned to Richard who grinned.

"Rick is a recovering alcoholic," Bobby told me.

"You don't say?" I said snidely, "How are those AA meetings going?"

"I have to attend one tonight," Richard answered.

"Well, don't worry, there are angels walking the streets tonight," I said.

Bobby frowned at that statement, as did John. Richard said nothing. He was willing to let it go.

I left the room and stood where the two boys were sleeping. I ruffled Dean's hair and watched Sammy sleep. They were far too young to be pulled into this kind of mess. I shrugged.

"You know what to do?" Richard asked.

"Yes," I said.

"I'll be back later," Richard told me.

I kept my back to him. I picked Sammy up. I cradled him against my cheek. Then I placed my mouth over his and blew part of my essence into him. He coughed a bit and then shook his head. I then partially shifted from my physical form, and enveloped him with the light that I still carried. It wasn't enough to remove the bonding, but it would keep him from its effects. I then placed Sammy next to Dean. They would sleep now.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I watched over them that night. At midnight a strange vehicle drove up. I looked at the occupants getting out. It was Elkins with the psychic Missouri. I should know better than to be in the presence of psychics. There was a heavy pounding on the door. I wondered how this would be solved. Bobby walked to the door. He pulled it open. John was behind him.

Elkins walked into the room with Missouri. He stared at me. Missouri did as well. I simply shrugged and threw myself down into a chair.

"Is there a problem Elkins?" John asked.

"Why did you leave the motel?" Elkins demanded.

"My son Dean claimed an angel came to visit," John shrugged. He was a man who was accustomed to doing what he liked. He trusted his own judgment.

"You said you were in the Marine Corps," Elkins said.

"I am not trusting my children to stay in a place where things can get to them," John's voice was cold.

I watched this exchange quite fascinated. Then I realized that Missouri was staring at me.

She came forward and touched my hair. Psychics were odd people. They knew things that others didn't. I stayed perfectly still. She couldn't quite figure out what I was, but she knew that I wasn't any danger to them. Elkins studied Missouri out of the corner of his eye. I had known him long enough to recognize what he was doing. He narrowed his eyes at me. There was a slight pulse of a vein on his forehead. It was only present when he was concentrating on an errant thought. I smiled. Elkins jumped at that.

"Leave her Missouri," Elkins said, "If she were a threat we would have found them all dead".

"I thank you for that glowing recommendation," I grinned.

Elkins shook his head, "I won't ever know will I?"

"I'm not a vampire," I told him.

Elkins glared at me. He said nothing. Missouri looked from Elkins to me.

"You telling me he's still obsessed with vampires?" Missouri sounded incredulous.

"It's amazing that there are any left," I offered.

Elkins growled. I laughed at him. Bobby sat still scratching his chin. He said nothing. He stared at the front door.

"Don't worry, It's been taken care of," I assured him.

Bobby stared at me for a moment, "I'm not sure that I believe that".

I shrugged, "Believe what you want".

"What did it cost you?" Missouri asked.

I didn't answer. I really liked psychics at times, but then there were other times when they actually would annoy me. However, I liked her.

"You're not going to answer child?" Missouri prodded.

I laughed at that description. I turned to her, "I have no idea what it's going to cost me. But I'm sure it'll be big".

"It's not like you made a deal with a demon," Bobby said.

"You did?" I sat forward.

"No." Bobby shook his head and confessed, "I crossed one".

Elkins and Missouri jumped. John was also on his feet. His first thought was his children. He rushed out of the room and returned carrying both of them in his arms. Missouri quickly Dean from him and Elkins checked the lines of salt around the room. I merely sat there amused by them. I shook my head. Now I understood why Richard needed me to work a favor. Raphael was going to make me pay for this. But he had known. He had said that the favor was worth more than what they had asked of me.

"You crossed a demon?" Missouri sat in the nearest chair.

"Yep" Bobby nodded.

"Dare I ask how?" Elkins whispered.

Bobby shook his head. He looked at me with baleful eyes. I understood why Richard wanted to save him. I would have tried to save Elkins. In fact, I had saved the brute on several occasions. Not that he ever knew. I couldn't allow that knowledge to come into play. It would upset the delicate balance between us. I smiled at that. Elkins had no idea that there was a delicate balance between us.

"Let me guess," I ventured, "You married one and tried to get a divorce?"

The others stared at me for a moment. Then Missouri threw her head back and laughed. Dean who was sitting in her lap stared up at her quite puzzled. He got off her lap and started making his way toward me, when his father scooped him up and placed him on his lap. Dean simply laid his head against his father's chest and let his eyes drift close. Sammy was nestled against John's chest as well. Both boys fit quite well on him. It was a sight so natural and normal that it made me sad to watch.

"You haven't told us who you really are," Bobby spoke.

"You haven't answered our question either," I shrugged.

Bobby chuckled. I was growing to like this man. I was becoming fond of this group. That was always my problem. I became too attached. I had seen a lot of human friends come and go over the years. I had even managed to take them part of the way. I never wanted to see any of them in Hell. But those who made it there, I tried to comfort as best I could. I even managed to put them to work on the newsletter. It was a good way to keep them away from the others. Of course the damned paperboys were always being eviscerated, however, I have tried to curtail that. I'm not often successful. But I do try.

I heard a vehicle pull up. It hadn't been a full 48 hours, but I knew Richard's step. The door flew open and a man walked in with Richard. I frowned at the sight of him. He was a clergyman. Richard was especially averse to clergymen. I frowned at this.

"Meet Pastor Jim," Richard bit out.

"He's the demon?" I asked.

Richard shot me a quizzical glance.

"Bobby told us he crossed a demon," Missouri chimed in.

"Oh," Richard nodded, "No, he's not. He's a pastor. He's also a hunter".

"What is he here to do?" John asked.

"He's here to help," Richard paused, "you".

Missouri got to her feet. She walked up to Pastor Jim. She shook his hand. She then turned to John.

"You can trust this man," she told him.

"With what?" John asked.

"You can't take two babies with you and hunt John," Missouri sounded exasperated.

I raised an eyebrow. John planned to take the boys on hunts? I knew he wasn't going to keep them innocent for long, but at least he could wait until they were teenagers.

"You can't expect me to leave them?" John said fiercely.

"No, we don't expect that," Elkins said, "But you're going to need to be sheltered. You admitted that Child Services Agency was after you".

"Yes," John nodded, "That was the work of my former partner".

"Partner?" Bobby was curious.

"I used to own a garage," John said.  
"So you can fix cars," Bobby nodded.

"Yes," John returned.

"I'll keep him," Bobby declared.

I had to laugh at that one. Bobby was shrewd. He was offering shelter to a man and his children. They were forging a bond here. Richard and I were not technically a part of it. We were simply there to watch over them. I was lost in my thoughts for a moment, when I realized that Missouri had taken Sammy from his father.

"What did you do?" she demanded.

My head snapped up. I was confused for a moment. I frowned at her.

"Do?" John was already defensive.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I shrugged off the accusation.

"What makes you think that Kelsey did anything?" Richard asked.

"The baby is different," Missouri stated.

I stared at Sammy for a moment. Was he noticeably different? I didn't think so. In fact, I was certain that she was guessing. This was another ploy of hers to figure out just what exactly I was.

"The baby is different?" Richard repeated.

"Yes," Missouri contended.

"Okay," Richard nodded, "How?"

It was a question that hung in the air. Bobby shrugged his shoulders. He didn't notice anything different about the baby. Neither did Elkins. Pastor Jim took the baby from Missouri. He said a prayer and nothing happened. He stared at Sammy. Sammy returned the stare. Dean by this time was awake. He watched everything carefully. Then he hopped out of his father's lap.

"The angel made him stop crying," he told them.

Richard raised an eyebrow at the child, "Really? An angel?"

"Yes," Dean nodded, "the angel took Sammy and blew on him and then made whatever was making Sammy sad go away".

Missouri stared at Dean. Then she turned to me. I was fortunate in that I had learned long ago how to feign puzzlement. It was the sort of pronouncement that would leave another confused. Missouri said nothing.

John took Dean into his arms. He lifted him up to his shoulder.

"All right sport, time for bed," he said.

Dean yawned and rested his head against his father's shoulder. He carried Dean to the room he was sleeping in. Then he returned. He took Sammy from Pastor Jim.

"I don't know about you," John said, "But I'm going to sleep".

He left the room. Bobby nodded and followed suit. Elkins and Missouri stood staring at each other. I said nothing. Then Missouri heard Bobby calling her name. She went in the direction of his voice. Elkins pulled a pager from his pocket. He started punching a number.

"Looking for someone?" I asked.

"Tommy," he replied absently.

"Who's Tommy?" Richard wanted to know.

"My friend," Elkins said. He left the room in search of Bobby and a telephone.

We watched his retreating back. Richard turned to me. "Tommy?"

"Doubting Thomas," I replied.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The morning came. I didn't need sleep. Neither did Richard, however he chose to amuse himself by indulging in a nap. I shrugged my shoulders and watched the outside. The others proceeded slowly into the main sitting area. Bobby stared at me for a moment. He wore the expression of a troubled man.

"Don't worry," I said, "I don't need sleep".

"Okay," Bobby nodded.

"Is it over?" John asked.

I shrugged. I turned my attention back to the window.

I knew that it was time I returned to Hell. I needed to discover what was really going on. I knew that there had to be others. The rumors were apparently true. I thought of the best rumor hound I had in Hell. Her name was Coolbeans. She was good at finding out gossip and anything else that no one wanted found. I smiled to myself. She was among the first of the spawn but she was at least decent in terms of how she handled things. She preferred to remain in Hell. I was constantly amazed at what she could discover. I would get her to figure this out for me. Personally I always felt that she was enjoying a bit of rebellion. That suited me perfectly fine. I had had to do my share of fighting in Hell to preserve my staff. I thought of her husky way of speaking and the cryptic method of her writing. It always drove everyone else nuts that she knew everything.

I felt a tug on my skirt. I looked down at the little hand holding on me. I smiled at Dean. He waved his hand for me to kneel beside him. I smiled at this. Children were always able to get around any defense. I knelt.

"What you did," Dean whispered.

I nodded.

"Thanks," he kissed my chin.

I smiled as he ran back to his father. John frowned at that. I said nothing. I was quite accustomed to children behaving like that.

It was a part of who and what I was. I had accepted it a long time ago. I turned my attention again to outside the house. Then I saw it, the flash of light. I went to the door and opened it. I felt my arm being grabbed. I turned to face Richard.

"Kelsey," he whispered.

"You're the one who wanted this favor," I reminded him.

"You do know he's not alone," Richard continued.

"I know," I nodded.

Richard released my arm. The others stood staring at us. Pastor Jim was holding Sammy. I smiled and walked through the door.

I heard the door slam shut behind me. I walked steadily across the road to the open field. I stopped. I looked directly ahead of me. Raphael appeared. I waited for him to speak.

"That was a huge favor," Raphael said.

"I take it, that it's over?" I smiled tightly.

"Yes," Raphael nodded.

"I know he's here," I said.

"Well, of course you do," a voice said behind me.

"Michael," I stated flatly.

"It would help if you faced me," Michael whispered.

I glanced at him through the corner of my eyes. He had chosen to retain his form. It was a good thing that long hair was coming back into vogue.

Michael stood beside Raphael. He nodded in the direction of the house.

"They're all safe in there," he said.

"You could have reversed what happened to the baby," I accused.

"Yes," Michael admitted, "but we have our reasons".

"This isn't a good idea," I gritted.

"Being upset isn't going to help Denri," Michael said quietly, "Perhaps we've allowed you to stay with them too long in Hell".

"You can't move me," I argued.

Michael stared at me for a moment. He said nothing. I narrowed my eyes. He couldn't move me. He didn't have the power. I left of my own volition. I stayed in Hell. They couldn't possibly…

Raphael looked at me with distressed eyes. I was still one of them. I was only there because it suited their purpose.

"Of course," I nodded.

"Of course what?" Michael prodded.

"The war isn't over," I shook my head.

"Did you really think it was?" Michael asked.

I closed my eyes for a moment. I thought of those two boys in that house. I thought of the loss of their mother. I thought about the fact that they had in fact also lost their father, the man who John Winchester would have been.

I started to walk away from them.

"We've not come to an agreement yet," Michael called.

I stopped and turned. I waited for him to speak.

"We've got a long time, but one day I'll need you to do something," Michael said.

"I know what your deals are like Michael," I answered.

"That was a huge thing that you did for Richard," Michael observed.

"Yes, Raphael told me that," I told him.

"Did Raphael also mention what kind of demon we had to fight?" Michael asked.

That got my attention. I admit I was curious as to what it was they had to fight.

"No, he didn't," I replied. I knew that Michael wanted me to admit this.

"It was one of the Fallen," Michael placed his face close to mine.

"How did a human cross a Fallen?" I was curious.

"That's what I wanted to know as well," Michael nodded.

He was angry. I had only ever seen him angry once. That was when the war first broke out. It was a frightening thing to behold. However he never seemed to be angry when dealing with me. But he tended to forget that I was not one of his soldiers to command. Michael liked to overlook that fact. Yet others followed him. He was adept in battle.

"I take it you found out," I returned his stare.

Michael walked away from me. I also hated the fact that he would do that as well. He was very cryptic when it suited him.

Raphael smiled at me for a moment.  
"He was the one who fought it," he said.

"I figured," I smiled at him.

"Tell him to be careful," Raphael nodded. Then he turned and walked away.

I stood in the field for a moment. I looked back at the house. I had to tell Richard what had happened. Although what I really wanted to do was to tear him apart. He knew what he was up against. He could have done battle without having to involve them. But there was something that I didn't know. So until then, Richard would keep part of his head intact.

I sighed heavily, and then walked back to the house. I opened the door and found Richard waiting. The others made themselves a bit too busy. My mouth twisted in a half smile. It was a good ploy on their part.

"Well?" Richard demanded.

"I need a shovel," I said.

"A what?" Richard's head snapped up.

"A shovel," I repeated.

"What do you need a shovel for?" Richard demanded.

"To hit you upside the head," I answered.

I walked away from Richard and stormed outside.

I threw myself onto the porch railing. I had to return to Hell. I knew this. I had been gone long enough. If I were gone too long, things would start to go haywire. I walked a dangerous path where the newsletter was concerned. I had to protect the ones who were in my care. I was not going to let anyone endanger them.

I heard the door open. I looked up and saw John headed toward me. He seemed genuinely concerned. I said nothing as he took a seat on the windowsill. He studied me for a moment.

"I take it that you're leaving," he said.

"I have to go back," I smiled.

"I see," John nodded.

"I don't suppose I could convince you to start over somewhere and raise your boys. Forget all this stuff?" I asked.

"No," John shook his head.

"You loved her that much?" I questioned.

"Yes," John lowered his head.

I watched him for a moment. The pain was still so raw for him. It was the sort of pain that could refuse to heal.

"You have two beautiful children John," I said gently, "they need their father".

"They need their mother," John grated.

I sighed. He was stubborn. He had a great deal in common with Elkins.

"Well, I should go," I stood.

He stood as well.

"Will we see you again?" he asked suddenly.

"I'm always around," I replied, "Of course, I wonder if you're going to change from being such a stubborn son of a bitch".

"Nope," John smiled.

Again I thought of the devastating effects of that smile. I shook my head.

"See you around John," I told him. I walked down the steps across the field and then disappeared.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

It would be eight years before I again crossed paths with the Winchesters. I walked occasionally on the surface, but it took me a while to track down what it was that the others were up to. I had to negotiate with Coolbeans for every bit of information she could find. There were of course minor and major events in Hell. In fact, I was surprised that so much time had passed.

I had checked up from time to time on Elkins. He was always too busy for me, however I suspected that he was mentoring John Winchester. I wasn't particularly concerned. Elkins would ensure that John stayed alive. I also knew that Richard would keep an eye on them. I was never called so I believed that everything was perfectly fine. I then chose to walk one night. It was a different feel. It had been eight years, since that night I watched over the others. I wondered briefly if things were the same. Had they managed to keep in touch? Had they all survived?

I found a bar. It was the usual place that hunters drifted to. I liked those places. I chose not to keep my usual guise. This time I was pretending to be a young man. I carried a guitar with me. I had learned a long time ago to play one. Occasionally I would amuse myself with one. I decided that I was going to be a down on my luck musician. I had spent some time preparing to be this.

I pushed open the doors. The scene was the same as it was everywhere else. The jukebox was pumping a tune of sorts. It was 1992 and the music had changed. It was dark and angst riddled. I smiled. The music was reflective of the young. I wondered how reflective it really was. I sat in a corner, making certain that my hair was drifting into my eyes. I was the picture of the typical sullen young man.

I looked at the table across from me. My heart stopped. Well, it would have stopped if I actually had a heart. There was John Winchester. He had a bottle in front of him. I could tell that he had been drinking heavily over the years. I wondered where his children were. Sammy would be eight and Dean twelve. I hoped that John had found a town somewhere and raised his boys. But he was stubborn. I had to accept and acknowledge that. I wondered if Elkins was with him.

I realized that I was being watched. I had caught his attention. I suppressed a smile. John Winchester had been well trained. He had a military background, I knew that much. The training that Elkins would have provided would have simply supplemented that. I looked directly at him. He studied me, so I thought that I would return the favor. John turned his gaze away. I chuckled.

I picked up the guitar and idly strummed it. I was waiting for nothing in particular. I simply liked the idea of sitting there in that place. I heard when the chair across from me scraped.

"So," John began.

I looked up at him, "Can I help you?"

"Yes," John sat.

I raised my eyebrows at him, "I don't swing that way".

John smiled at me, "Really? Neither do I".

I was puzzled. I didn't know what he was about. I went back to strumming my guitar. He said nothing, but I noticed that he wasn't actually drinking. He continued to sit across from me. I was patient. He was human.

There was a slight commotion at the bar. I paid it scant attention. John did as well. The door swung open and the person he seemed to be waiting for came in. I didn't turn my head. I knew that the person would come to where John was, or John would go to the person.

"John, what in the hell?" Bobby's voice sounded clear.

"What took you so long?" John asked.

"Well, it's good to see you too" Bobby grunted, he sat in the nearest chair.

John chuckled.  
"Damn it John, sometimes you are deliberately provoking," Bobby shook his head.

"One day you'll take a shotgun to me," John said.

"One day I just might," Bobby retorted, "But today is not that day".

Bobby looked directly at me. I merely sat with my guitar. I wasn't going to say a word. I also had no intention of moving. I had chosen to sit there. John Winchester was the one who had joined me. I didn't join him.

Bobby mouthed something to John who shook his head. I knew that there was communication, but I chose to ignore it.

"You seen Elkins?" Bobby asked.

"Yes," John replied.

"Damn it John, you have to stop pissing people off," Bobby berated.

"You want me to change," John said.

"You are a stubborn bastard at times, you know that?" Bobby demanded.

John said nothing in reply. I was learning quite a bit about John Winchester. It was obvious that he had not found someplace and settled. He had taken on the life of a hunter. I had known many hunters who had families. But those people had a spouse who looked after the children. John's boys only had him. I wondered briefly if the Government agency had taken them away from him.

"Where are the boys?" Bobby asked suddenly.

"They're at a motel," John answered.

I wanted to scream at that moment. He left them alone in a motel room.

"You're not using them as bait are you John?" Bobby's voice was dangerously low.

I felt my palms itch. I would hurt him, if anything happened to those boys.

"Dean will take care of it," John said.

"Dean is twelve years old," Bobby said between gritted teeth.

"They're safe," John shook his head, "That thing won't go after them".

Bobby said nothing. He stared at the glass in his hand. He disagreed with John. I knew that much. I also disagreed with John. I briefly entertained using the guitar on his head. Perhaps that would knock some sense into him.

"You can't keep doing this to Dean, John," Bobby said after a while.

John looked at him. He frowned at Bobby.

"You're going to lose your son, if you continue to do this," Bobby explained.  
"Dean is fine," John said.  
"He's a kid. He's not supposed to be the grown up," Bobby growled.

John said nothing. It was obvious that this was an old argument. I was fascinated to see that John looked like his wife had just died. I noticed that he was still wearing his wedding band. This was eight years later. He was still a relatively young man. He was a good – looking man, as far as human standards went. I then realized that the obsession had taken hold. He had allowed it to consume his life.

I turned my attention to Bobby. He had obviously been on the worse end of a few things. He looked as though he had seen far too many things. He wore the scars of battle in his eyes. But behind all that there was a kindness. There was a genuine concern for the well being of the man sitting next to him and for his children. I found myself longing to see those children. I wanted to see that they were safe. I feared for their safety at that point.

"Bobby, you and Pastor Jim have been speaking again," John said.

"Yes," Bobby nodded, "You know that you can leave the boys with him. Hell you can leave the boys with me".

"They're my boys," John said.

"Yes, and they deserve to live in a place of love and happiness," Bobby said quietly.

"I love my boys Bobby," John asserted.

"I don't doubt it," Bobby nodded, "I just don't want one day to have to face the effects of your colossal screw up".

John looked at Bobby sharply. He mouthed the words 'colossal screw up'.

"You're exaggerating Bobby," John told him.

"This drinking isn't helping either," Bobby remarked.

John looked at him wryly.

"Next thing you'll tell me that a woman wouldn't hurt," John grimaced.

"Well don't knock the comfort that can be found in a woman's arms," Bobby nodded.

"After Mary," John began.

Bobby nodded. He looked like he didn't need any other explanation.

John pushed back the chair. Bobby stood.  
"I brought the things that you're going to need," he told him.

John nodded. Bobby walked out the door. The meeting had been pre – arranged. That much was obvious to me. But I couldn't understand why I was being granted privilege in the conversation.

"You don't talk, do you?" John said to me.

I shrugged. I wasn't sure what he was up to. I decided to wait it out.

Bobby re-entered the bar. He placed a bag on the table. I was curious but I didn't look inside. John didn't look either.

"Is that everything?" he said to him.

"Yes, it's everything," Bobby responded.

"What?" John looked directly at Bobby.

"Are you sure you won't change your mind?" Bobby seemed quite worried.

"I'll hold onto this stuff for a while," John told him.

"Hold onto it?" Bobby frowned.

"I don't need it anymore," John said.

Bobby's frown deepened. He stared at John for a moment. He sat in the chair.

"You're staying?" John asked.  
"I sure as hell ain't going anywhere until you tell me what's going on in that fool brain of yours," Bobby declared.

I had to say that my respect for Bobby had increased. I was quite right to be attached to these humans.

John smiled, "I don't need to summon the particular entity again".

"Oh?" Bobby asked.

John leaned across the table and grabbed my hand, "Isn't that right Kelsey?"

I stared at John in complete surprise. He was going to summon me? I'd never been summoned before. Bobby stared at me in horror.

"So tell me," John stated, "What took you so long?"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I looked at John for a moment. He was certainly more astute than I ever gave him credit. I said nothing. Bobby kept looking from me to John. He wasn't entirely certain what to think of John's apparent madness. Bobby cleared his throat.

"Um…. John?" Bobby began.

"I'm not crazy Bobby," John assured him.

"I'm not too sure about that," Bobby looked at him worried, "This young man can't be Kelsey".

"Oh?" John sounded amused.

"Well for one thing I've seen Kelsey," Bobby stated, "Believe me, there is no way I could mistake this young man for her".

"She's a different kind of being Bobby," John told him.

Bobby furrowed his brow.

I sat there listening to them. I wasn't entirely sure how to respond. I figured I would be better off letting human natural suspicion win this one.

"I think that I'd better leave," I stood.

John reached across the table and pulled me back down. I glared at him. Bobby placed his hand over John's.

"John," Bobby said gently, "You've made a mistake".

"No, I haven't," John shook his head, "Kelsey is the same being who pretended to be Tommy".

I controlled my surprise. John had only met me once as Tommy. I recalled that meeting. I was very careful with that meeting. But then I was in the middle of saving both their asses so I seriously doubted that John could have realized…. My thoughts ended abruptly. There was a movement in the corner of the bar. I frowned for a moment. Then I saw when both Bobby and John tensed.

Heavy footfalls sounded behind me. I tensed for a moment. I wasn't in the mood for a human fight. John narrowed his eyes and stared at the stranger for a moment. He then stood and pulled me behind him. I thought that was particularly funny, considering I wasn't the fragile human, he was. Bobby also stood. I stepped back. John's hand was still on my arm.

"Stay behind me," John snarled.

I raised an eyebrow at that. Bobby looked at me for a moment.  
"John," he began, "If that's really her…"

"We're not involving her in a fight," John warned.

I said nothing. I simply watched what was going to happen next.

The man stopped in front of them. He pushed the chairs and table out of the way. He glared at me. I wondered at the level of hostility. John glanced back at me. I shrugged my shoulders. I was completely lost as to what was happening.

"We don't appreciate your kind here," the man growled at me. He was a big grizzly bear of a man. He wore an old leather jacket. He had the look of a hunter. I narrowed my eyes. He was quite incensed.

"You don't want to pick this fight dude," John said calmly.

I studied him for a moment. He had changed. He had a certainty about him was not there when I had last met him. Hunting did that after a while. It either killed the human, or made them more powerful. Of course there was a price that was paid. It was always high.

"Yes I do," the man disagreed.

I came back to the situation that faced us. As much as I liked these bars, the fights were the only drawback that I could think of. I will confess that no one had ever directly challenged me before.

"You're making a mistake," Bobby chimed in.

The man shook his head. I stepped back. He lunged forward. I managed to scramble out of the way. John pulled the man back and sent him flying across the next table. The other patrons scurried out of the way. The man got to his feet, and threw a punch at Bobby, who ducked and rolled out the way. He then proceeded to side – step John. I was obviously his target. He attempted to grab me, however, John pulled him away. He turned his attention to John who managed to pin him to the bar. John held him tightly.

Bobby glanced over at me and shook his head. I merely shrugged. I was even more confused than they were.

"Cool it," John shouted at him.

"Let me at him," the man screamed.  
"That isn't a him, it's a her," John told him.

I was wearing very baggy clothes and my hair was in my face. No one in the bar had actually seen what I looked like. So, I did what John suggested, I shifted from male to female.

The man shrugged John off. John released him and Bobby stood close to me. I pulled my hair out of my face. Bobby sucked in his breath. I could hear him swearing under his breath.  
"It's not my fault he's so clever," I said quietly.

The man stared at me. He narrowed his eyes.  
"You're a girl," he said gruffly.

"Yes," I nodded.

"You're one of those kids who likes to dress like a boy?" he asked.

"You know these young ones," John said, "Always trying to rebel".

Bobby nodded. I said nothing. They were diffusing the entire situation. I suspected the only reason the man stopped was that he realized that John had him beat. I hid my smile. He was protecting me. I found it amusing since he knew that I was more than capable of defending myself. Then I realized that it was the man he was saving. Perhaps it was both of us.

Bobby cleared his throat.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I could use a drink".

I looked at Bobby for a moment. I frowned slightly, "You're not still drinking that holy water concoction are you?"

Bobby's head spun quickly in my direction. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Rick made me drink a beer with it once," I frowned.

"You're okay," Bobby said.

"Yes," I nodded.

Bobby was silent for a moment. He watched John and the man glare at each other.

"He's still a stubborn son of a bitch," Bobby said.

"I realized," I noted.

Bobby smiled at me. He shook his head. "No matter what Kelsey, I owe you".

"Yes you do," I concurred.

John pulled the tables back together and pushed the chairs together. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to the table. I sat in the chair. Bobby sat on the other side. The man sat across from us.

"Now, why were you trying to hurt her?" John demanded.

"I thought he…I mean she was one of them," the man grunted.

"One of what?" Bobby asked.

"Not a vampire?" I sat up straighter.

Bobby and John both shot me a withering look. I slumped back down in the chair.

The man smiled at me. "She's cute".

"She knows," John and Bobby said in unison.

I frowned slightly. These humans were taking advantage of my nature. But I must admit I was extremely curious as to what was going on.

"There's a group of drifters going through towns. They all dress like her, and carry guitars," he explained.

I hit my head with my hand. I was so dumb. I should have checked to see what guises different spawn were using before I came to the surface. Then I would have avoided this problem.

"They are playing guitars?" I asked.

The man nodded.

I thought for a moment, "Are you sure they're not a wannabe rock band trying to make it big?"

The three of them looked at me exasperated for a moment.

"What?" I asked, "It's possible".

Bobby shook his head. He tried to suppress the grin.

"Where did you find her?" the man asked.

"You can't choose family," John answered seriously.

"No you can't," Bobby nodded.

I was to play along. This human wasn't to have a clue. They didn't know if he could be trusted. Besides, John was going to try to summon me, so that meant that he needed something.

The man smiled, "I got myself a wife and a little girl". John looked at him. He shot a knowing look at Bobby.

"This group you've been following," Bobby directed the man's attention.

"They've been doing some serious things," the man said.  
"Possession?" John asked.

"That's my thinking," the man said.

"You were going to fight a possessed person?" I asked incredulously. This man was reckless. I had known reckless hunters but never that reckless. I thought that Elkins was bad.

"I'm not that crazy," the man said.

"She's right." Bobby said, "You can't cross a demon".

"Yes, it gets you into all sorts of trouble," John nodded.

"Yes it does," I agreed.

The man frowned at the three of us. He sat up in his chair, "Just why are you here?"

"We came to find this one," Bobby jerked his head at me.

"You shouldn't wander off by yourself little lady," the man said to me.

I felt the distinct urge to growl. I then felt John's hand pressing down hard on my thigh. I turned to him. John looked directly at me. I backed down. The man continued smiling at me. I returned the smile.

"I'm John Winchester by the way," John introduced himself.

"Bill Harvelle," the man smiled in return.

"Bobby," Bobby nodded, "And this is Kelsey".

My smile widened, until Bobby jabbed me in the ribs. To think I had saved them.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I watched them from a distance. I waited since I was curious as to what it was that John wanted of me. Bobby and John continued speaking to Bill. He seemed to be amenable, now that he was no longer trying to fight or kill me. I chose to stay away from him, at least until I could figure out how John recognized me. That was quite disturbing to me. Elkins had known me for years and didn't put it together that I was both Tommy and Kelsey, yet John had known. He hadn't said anything to Elkins either. It made me even more curious.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Bobby. He placed his face almost against mine. I widened my eyes at him.  
"Found what you're looking for?" I asked.

Bobby shook his head, "Nope".

"Don't sweat it," I said.

"Oh?" Bobby smiled at me.  
"I've been trying to figure out how he knew as well," I shrugged.

Bobby said nothing. I didn't press him. I waited for John to join us.

He walked slowly toward us. I recalled what Bobby said about John leaving the boys alone. I wanted to know what was really going on.

"You leave them alone often?" I asked.

John stopped for a moment. He seemed for a moment confused by my question. Then he shook his head.  
"The boys are fine Kelsey," John said.

Bobby raised an eyebrow.

"How fine?" I demanded.

"Well, Bobby's going to meet up with them and take them back to his place," John replied.

"I am?" Bobby sounded stunned. He stared at John for a moment and cleared his throat, "That's right. In all the excitement I plum forgot".

I looked from one to the other. It wasn't worth getting that upset about. Bobby hadn't any clue that he was to take the boys. I doubt any human would have fallen for that one. Bobby took his cap off his head and scratched his hair. He then nodded to John.

"Well Kelsey, I guess we part for a while," Bobby said, "I'll go get the boys".

"Fine," I said.

Bobby walked away from us. He got into a truck and cast one last look at us, started the engine and drove away.

I turned my attention to John. He stood there staring after the taillights of the truck. He seemed to have forgotten that I was standing there. I kicked his shin. John jumped and glared at me.  
"What was that for?" John demanded.

"I didn't have a shovel," I replied.

"Why do you need a shovel?" John wanted to know.

"Because you need a good solid hit upside your head, and I figure that a shovel wouldn't be damaged too badly from connecting with your skull," I smiled at him.

John raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you normally this violent?"

"Well, it's not my fault that you keep inciting me to violence John Winchester," I snapped.

John said nothing to me. He started to walk away then he stopped. He half – turned.

"You coming?" he asked.

I contemplated leaving him right then and there. However, there was a reason that he had wanted to find me. I realized that it could be dangerous. So I followed him to the car. It was the same Impala. It was kept in immaculate condition.  
"I'm surprised you hung onto this," I observed.

John looked at me blankly for a moment, "It's for Dean".

I straightened. "Dean?"

"Yes," John confirmed.

"But Dean is twelve," I said.

"He won't be in four years," John answered.

I thought back to the little boy I had seen. Then I frowned. John had been prepared to call me. However, he was not prepared for the boys to see me. That intrigued me even more.

"John, a girl might think that you don't want her around your children," I teased.

John stared at me for a moment. His face was a mask. I couldn't read what was beneath the veneer. He pulled open the passenger door and waited for me to get in. I sat in the seat and John got in the driver's side. I waited for him to tell me what he wanted.

He put the car in gear and pulled out of the parking lot. I wondered where we were going. I knew that he would eventually tell me.

"So, you're not going to simply do what it is that you do?" John asked.

I frowned at that, "What do you think I am John?"

"I'm not exactly sure," he admitted.

I raised an eyebrow and then I turned to him, "How did you recognize me?"

John chuckled.  
"You guessed?" I narrowed my eyes. I couldn't believe it. A human outwitted me? It was apparent that I was slipping. I was obviously careless. I had somehow slipped up in my disguises.

"Not at first," John shrugged.  
"Not even Bobby knows how you did it," I told him.

"Well, remember that I have Dean," John smiled briefly.

My eyes widened. The baby would have told him that I was the angel. That I had come to visit them, and that I was obviously protecting them somehow. I should have remembered that children spoke the truth at times but in this case their father would have listened.

"He wasn't with you when I was Tommy," I countered.

"Your eyes remain the same," John said.

I pulled out a mirror. I looked at the eyes I had. As Tommy I kept my eyes tawny. As Kelsey they were a mud color. I didn't see what he was talking about.

"It's the way the light refracts," John explained.

The light refracted? There was no refraction of light with my eyes. I pouted a bit. John chuckled.

"You know that it's easy to forget that you're not actually a woman," John said quietly.

I wasn't quite sure how to answer that one.

"I'm not human John," I said gently.

"I know," he nodded.

I remained silent. It was a difficult thing for him to cope with. The years had been unkind in so many ways. He was raising two boys, but he appeared to be raising them on the road as he moved from town to town while he hunted supernatural entities.

"You could have simply settled in a new town and raised your boys John," I said after a few moments of silence.

John tightened his grip on the steering wheel.

"There were times when I thought about it," he answered.

"Why didn't you?" I was curious.

He glanced at me for a second and then returned his attention to the road.

"Well?" I prodded.

"I don't know what killed my wife. Not for certain, and I frankly didn't want to be a sitting target for that thing," John explained.

"Surely you don't think that you could hide?" I was in disbelief.

"No," John smiled wryly, "I figured the best way to beat this thing is to be prepared".

"You couldn't be prepared in one place?" I wondered aloud.

"No," John shook his head.

I thought about that last statement. I then remembered what had been said eight years earlier. Social Services had been called about John's erratic behavior. The transient lifestyle made a bit of sense, especially if he was preparing to take on the thing that destroyed his family head on. I doubted the merit of such action, but the human mind could be unfathomable at times.

We came to a stop. I looked out the window. It was an empty lot. I frowned at John. What exactly did he expect to happen here? He turned off the engine and faced me.

"I want answers," he said.

"Okay," I nodded.

"What killed Mary?" he demanded.

I frowned for a moment. Mary? Who was Mary? Then it clicked. Mary must have been his wife. I never did find out the details in the very beginning. I was rather distracted with other events, like trying to save the baby.

"Elkins told you," I said, remembering the details of the conversation.

John nodded. He stared out the window for a moment.

"What?" I asked. I found it difficult that he was willing to give up that easily.

"Do you know why?" he asked.

I contemplated for a moment. I had no concrete knowledge but I had a suspicion. That suspicion was based on my knowledge of the beings in Hell.

"Demons don't need a reason John," I said gently, "They lie, kill and maim sometimes just for the fun of it".

"Do they ever tell the truth?" he asked.

"Only if it will cause more damage than the lie," I chuckled, "In fact, they can warp the truth to become a lie".

"There's one more thing," he said.

"What?" I turned my head sideways.

"A couple of years ago, I was tracking a Strigia," John said.

"Those things are usually nasty John," I told him.

"Yes," John nodded, "I know. While I was hunting it, it came after Sam".

"You left the boys alone?" I was partially incensed.

"Dean is capable," John stated.

"Dean is a child," I reminded him.

John stared at me for a moment. He furrowed his brow, "It wouldn't have happened if Dean hadn't disobeyed me".

I sat up straighter. Dean disobeyed him. "He's your son".

"He's a good soldier," John nodded.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

I stared at John with a mixture of shock and horror. Dean was his son. I closed my eyes for a moment. The obsession had taken a full hold of him. I felt very concerned about where all of this would end.

"He's a child John," I told him, "your child".

"Damn it, don't you think I know that?" John growled.

"I wonder if you do," I said.

He turned to me. His eyes flashed fiercely, "Bobby says the same things".

"I like Bobby," I admitted. "He has sense".

"He crossed that demon when you first met," John reminded me.

"Yes, but it wasn't exactly his fault," I explained.

"You mean it is different than what I'm doing?" John questioned.

"Yes," I nodded, "Bobby isn't trying to get himself killed".

"I'm not trying to get myself killed," John gritted.

"Not yet," I argued, "You're waiting until the boys are older, when you feel that they won't need you anymore and then that's it!"

John stared at me for a few moments. My outburst clearly surprised him. I must admit that it surprised me as well. I felt for the second time in knowing this human the unmistakable urge to hit him. He was so clever and yet so completely obtuse. It had made things much more difficult for him to maintain any relationships. I was pleased that the friendship with Bobby had survived. I knew about the falling out with Elkins.

"What happened with you and Elkins?" I demanded.

"Why don't you ask him?" John replied.

"I'm asking you," I grabbed his face and made him look at me.

"You see, the light doesn't refract in your eyes," John observed.   
"What?" I was confused.

"That's how I knew," he said. "It's your eyes, they don't refract light".

"How do you know I'm not a demon?" I countered.

"Your eyes don't turn black," he said.

"Not all eyes turn black," I muttered.

John's head snapped up. He stared at me for a moment.

"What do you mean?" he demanded.

"So? You haven't answered my question," I reminded him.

"We had a disagreement about the Colt," he shrugged.

I sat back in the seat. They had a disagreement about the Colt? I shook my head. Elkins was obsessed with that gun. Somehow John must have found out about it. Given the level of anger that John carried within him, it would have been a source of contention between them. I could see a massive 'falling out' between those two very stubborn men.

"That gun is an obsession with Elkins," I commented.

"It can kill what killed my Mary," John said quietly.

I nodded.

I remembered that gun very clearly. Samuel Colt had been asked to make the weapon by a hunter. Sam had been willing to do it because he had seen first hand what lay just beneath the surface of human life. He had also done other things, like build churches and researched what could kill demons or at least stop them. That obsession had been a large part of his life. However, Samuel was smart enough to not let anyone know what he had done. In fact, the hunter who he had given the gun to was killed before he was able to finish his job. I was too late to save him but I had managed to get the gun hidden before it was used to do other things. I had never told Elkins that the gun served a dual purpose. That kind of knowledge was dangerous in human hands.

The real problem lay in the fact that the spawn knew of the gun's existence. Most believed that it was simply a way to kill them. Therefore they were dedicated to getting the weapon so that no human would be able to use it against them. I knew from what Coolbeans had been able to uncover that a faction of them speculated the gun served another purpose. I lost track of the weapon when Samuel refused to tell me where it was hidden. I always felt he had somehow managed to pass it along to someone. But did he also pass along the knowledge? I knew the answer to this, for Elkins and now John Winchester were obsessed with finding this weapon that could kill anything supernatural, what I sincerely doubted was that he revealed the second purpose of the weapon. I hoped that he hadn't. But humans were tricky in their own ways.

John cleared his throat. I looked at him.

"Why am I here John?" I asked.

"I want to find that Strigia," he said.

"Well they hunt every fourteen to twenty years," I shrugged, "Normally if you miss one when it feeds then you have to wait until it resurfaces".

"So, there's no way to track it 'til then?" he questioned.

"No," I shook my head. I was curious as to why I was being asked this question. Surely if John had been hunting such a creature he would have known this.

"You want to know why?" John asked.

I nodded.

"When I was hunting it about two years ago, I left the boys in a motel room. I was trying to track it, and it went after them," John said.

"You were hunting a creature that preys on children and you left your children alone in a motel room?" I clarified.

"Yes," John hung his head. "I beat myself up everyday for it".

"And what does this have to do with Dean?" I demanded. I had sensed that there was something else behind Bobby's latent anger when he and John were speaking earlier in the bar.

"He left his brother alone, and the creature got in," John admitted.

I said nothing. I didn't have to. John drew a shaky breath.

"I managed to chase the thing off and took the kids to Pastor Jim," John told me, "but when I returned the thing had cleared off. A lot of children died".

"And you nearly lost your own," I said.

John stared at me with haunted eyes. It had affected him. Yet, he still left the boys alone. He was confident that Dean could take care of everything. He called Dean a good soldier. When did his son become a soldier? I turned away from him. I felt for the handle and let myself out of the car. I stood and walked a few feet from the car. I heard when the driver's side door opened. I didn't want to speak to him. I wanted to simply return to Hell. I wanted to be away from him. I wanted to pick him up and send him flying. I was surprised at the intensity of my anger.

"I know you're upset with me," John said.

I glared at him. I wasn't upset with him. I wanted to knock some sense in his head. I remembered our last conversation eight years before. He was still a stubborn son of a bitch. But this recklessness was not going to serve anyone. It made him careless. It made him take risks with everything and everyone. If he was willing to leave his children vulnerable…

John stood in front of me. I looked up at him.

"That's not a good idea John," I warned.

"It's not like you're going to hurt me," John smiled down at me.

I grabbed the front of his shirt and lifted him off his feet. His eyes widened with fear.

"I'm not a human woman John," I said sweetly, "I can break you in half and not break a nail".

"This isn't possible," John kept perfectly still. He had wisely decided not to antagonize me any further.

"My body isn't human John, I'm not possessing anyone," I explained.

"But you're not a shape – shifter either," John stated.

"No," I lowered him to ground. I released him.

John stepped away from me. He watched me carefully.

I smiled at him, "Just because the dangerous creature doesn't act dangerous John, doesn't mean that it isn't".

"So I gathered," John nodded.

He walked back to the car and sat on the hood. I shook my head. I felt a surge of anger through me. I stepped further back. I shook my head again. It was strange that I should feel this way. Then I thought about it clearly. Elkins was prone to drive me to contemplating acts of violence.  
"I really need a shovel," I muttered.

"What?" John called to me.

I glowered at him.

"What?" John repeated.

"You really are provoking aren't you?" I shook my head.

"Well, it's part of my charm," John shrugged.

"Hmm, I've never understood how human women find men like you charming," I said.

"I got lucky once," John murmured.

I said nothing to that. It was an insight into the depths of his pain. He loved his wife in ways that she probably didn't even realize. I studied John Winchester. He was a hard man. A man accustomed to very hard things and was not afraid of anything. But he was also exceedingly hard – headed and would bring out the best and worst in anyone or thing that knew him.

I thought of the itinerant lifestyle that they were leading. I wondered about something.

"John how are you paying for all of this?" I wondered about that.

John held his head down for a moment. He refused to look me directly in the eye. I narrowed my eyes at him. "John?" I wanted to know.

"You'll hurt me," John teased.

I took a step toward him.

"Okay," John held up his hand, "I do harmless scams".

"Harmless?" I repeated.

"Definitely aren't a demon are you?" he smiled at me.

I wasn't entirely certain how to answer that one. I turned away from him. Then I spun back to face him.

"What do you think I am?" I asked.

John shrugged, "I honestly don't know. But I do know that if you wanted to destroy us you would have a long time ago. Which makes you okay for now".

"Okay for now?" I smiled, "Well that's a first".

John threw back his head and laughed. Then he stopped.  
"What did you want with the shovel?" John asked.

I merely smiled at him. John had the good sense to look nervous.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

We got back into the car. John started the engine and turned the car in the direction of the Interstate. I sat in the car silent. After about half an hour we arrived at a motel. I saw Bobby's truck. John parked the car. He looked at me.

"I'm sorry," he said.

I nodded. I understood. He wanted me to stay outside.

He got out of the car. He walked over to my door and opened it. I wondered what he was doing. John gave me his hand. I took it and he pulled me out of the car.

"You don't want me inside," I said.

"True," John agreed, "Bobby will take you with him".

"I can find my way around John," I reminded him.

John shook his head, "Bobby needs your help".

I was startled.

John closed the door and walked to the motel room. He knocked on the door and Bobby opened it. I must confess that I was curious to see how Sam and Dean looked. I shifted to a non – physical form. I then entered the room. I was startled to see the dark haired boy intently doing homework, his face screwed in concentration. I then turned and saw the older one watching him. I stopped to see what had Sam so concerned. It was a science question. I smiled. I checked him as well. He was so far clear of any signs of the bonding. I couldn't reverse it, but I did hope to temper it.

I then went over to where Dean was seated. He had a hand held game. It was fascinating what he was doing. But he seemed to not be actually interested in what was on the screen. I blew on his ear. He brushed his ear. He turned but saw nothing. He frowned. Sam looked up at him.

"What's the matter?" Sam asked.

"Nothing, just my imagination," Dean answered.

"Maybe you should do some homework," Sam suggested.

"I do homework," Dean told him.

"You barely do your homework," Sam argued.

"What are you a girl all of a sudden?" Dean grinned at him.

Sam sat up straighter in his chair, "Am not a girl".

"Are too," Dean continued.

"Am not!" Sam stood. He balled his hands into fists.

Dean crooked an eyebrow at him.

"Boys!" John's voice cut through the room.

Both Sam and Dean turned to their father.

"What is going on?" John demanded.

"Nothing," Sam answered.

"Excuse me?" John thundered.

"Nothing sir," Dean replied.

John turned to Dean. He stared at him for a moment.

"Your job, Dean, is to look after your brother," John said.

"Yes sir," Dean nodded.

John took a last look at the two of them and then returned to Bobby.

Dean watched his father return to Bobby. He wore an inscrutable expression on his face. Sam then threw something at him.

"Cut it out Sammy," Dean warned.

"Why do you let him talk to you that way?" Sam hissed. He crossed the room and stood facing his brother. Dean was taller than Sam but not by much. I wondered who was going to be taller.

"You understand what's going on Sammy," Dean said to him.

"He doesn't have the right to talk to you like that," Sam growled.

A fleeting emotion flashed across Dean's face. Where was the little child who had stood up to his father? Eight years of John alone had drummed the spirit out of the child. I looked at Dean for a moment. I could sense the same spirit. It wasn't gone. It was suppressed. I recalled what John had told me earlier. Dean had disappointed him. I had wanted to hit John at that time. I was ready to hit him again.

"Stow it Sammy," Dean warned.

Sam backed down. There was a fierce bond between the two. I had seen it when they were such small children. It had deepened. It had grown fiercer. Despite the usual squabbles that children ultimately had, these two had a dynamic that was rare. I supposed it had to do with the unusual circumstances of their lives, the way they were raised. It was ultimately their choice. They clung to each other. I saw the way that the boys responded to their father. There was a great deal of love present, it was buried beneath the gruff manner, but I had long learned to recognize these things. Despite all his faults, John Winchester's boys knew that their father loved them. In the end wasn't that enough?

I saw Bobby begin to walk through the door. I melted quickly from the room and returned to where John had left me. Bobby saw me standing there. He wore a guarded expression.

"What's the matter Bobby?" I asked, "Trying to play catch up with John?"

"No," he shook his head. "John said that I should take you with me".

"He told me that you needed my help," I said.

Bobby scratched his chin for a moment. He nodded. He walked toward his truck.

"Come on, Jim's waiting." Bobby said, as he opened the passenger side door.

I looked at him for a moment. I got into the truck.

"Pastor Jim?" I asked.

"Yep," Bobby nodded.

"Dare I ask what's going on?" I smiled.

"We're not sure," Bobby said.

I sat still for a moment.

I wondered about the wisdom of this venture. The attempt to engage a supernatural entity was not a good idea. Especially since I was the one who sat in Hell keeping watch over sleeping demons.

"Something wrong Kelsey?" Bobby asked.

"What is John doing to those boys?" I changed the subject.

Bobby gripped the steering wheel. He stared intently at the road ahead of him.

"We may not agree with it, but he's doing the best he can," Bobby answered.

"In other words, he's a stubborn bastard who won't listen to anyone and you're all just trying to make sure he doesn't permanently screw them up," I translated.

"You know, for whatever it is that you are, you're pretty smart," Bobby grinned.

"Thank you," I smiled back at him.

"And a smartass to boot," Bobby added.

I said nothing, for I knew it was all too true.

The journey took just under an hour. We pulled up in front of an old church. I saw Pastor Jim standing on the steps. He looked haggard. As Bobby turned off the truck's engine, he looked over at me.

"Kelsey, I don't know about…" he trailed off.

I understood. This was going to be a shock for Pastor Jim, however, I was confident in his coping skills. I pulled open the door and got out.

I walked up the steps to where Pastor Jim stood. He stared at me for a moment, and then his gaze slid past me at Bobby.

"What is…?" Pastor Jim began.

"It's okay, she's here to help," Bobby explained.

"Can she?" he demanded.

"She is standing right here," I said.

Pastor Jim stared at me blankly. His eyes were hollow. I was concerned about what they had taken on.

"Jim," Bobby said softly.

"We can't trust any of these things," Pastor Jim said.

"We need her," Bobby told him.

I placed my hand on Pastor Jim. He was shaking. I had seen this response before. It was rare to find this kind response in experienced hunters. For them to be that afraid, it was something that big, in which case I would actually have to destroy it. I did not forward to that.

Pastor Jim shook off my hand. He stumbled backward and sat on the steps. He started rocking back and forth. Bobby looked worried. I stared at Bobby for a moment.

"Where is it?" I asked.

Pastor Jim pointed behind the church. I frowned. Most things refused to go near a church. It was the whole maintenance of consecrated ground. It was an agreement between both sides. It was to be neutral territory; a place that was considered safe for it would act as sanctuary. It puzzled me as to what would breach the rules, not many were so brazen.

I nodded and simply walked behind the building. I smelled it before I saw it. It was hulking there in the corner of the building. I frowned at it and it bared its claws. I stood there for a moment. Then I sensed something else. I turned and saw Michael standing by the church itself. I looked to see if he was there for it or me. He shook his head. The creature started wailing. I looked closely at it, then, I recognized it. It was one of the Forbidden.

These were dark creatures that had inhabited the plane long before anything else. When things were changed and the Fallen came to the surface, the Forbidden were banished. They had been displaced. They were imprisoned. However, occasionally one managed to escape. These fierce creatures managed to infect people and animals and cause all manner of supernatural beings. They altered perception. But this one was wounded. I was curious as to what could injure one.

"The human hunters are clever," Michael said.

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

"I have to destroy it," Michael answered.

I nodded. I turned to go but stopped, "Would you like me to do it?" I offered.

Michael studied me for a moment. He shook his head, "No, there will be a time when I collect the debt that is owed Denri. But today is not that day".

Michael walked forward and tore the creature to pieces. It was over quickly. Michael excelled at battle and hunting. He moved with the remains. It would do no good for the humans to get their hands on it.

"You'll know when it's time to collect Denri," Michael said.

I nodded. I knew that making deals with them was always worse.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

I walked slowly back to the front of the building. Bobby was attempting to console Pastor Jim. He was stunned to see me return.  
"That was fast," Bobby said.

"It was not hard to deal with," I returned.

"Is it gone?" Pastor Jim asked, his voice shaking.

"Yes," I said.

"I don't understand," Bobby began, "I thought that evil things couldn't go inside churches".

I smiled at him, "It was something different. Something that I hope you never meet again".

Bobby raised an eyebrow at me. Pastor Jim was still seated on the front steps. He looked entirely lost. I pulled Pastor Jim to his feet. He staggered. I was completely stunned by his reaction. Then I realized that he must have taken on the creature by himself. I shook my head. Human hunters were always loath to exercise caution. That was the main reason for so many of them dying early in the game. The ones who survived managed to tarnish their souls with the things that they see. Again I thought of the high price that they are forced to pay.

Bobby grabbed the weapons and began to lift Pastor Jim over his shoulders. I knew that Bobby wouldn't be able to manage him. I simply took Pastor Jim from Bobby and threw him over my shoulders. I carried Pastor Jim to Bobby's truck. I turned and saw Bobby staring at me.   
"Bobby what are you waiting for?" I asked.

Bobby shook his head.

"What?" I demanded.

"Do you have any idea how strange this looks?" Bobby asked.

I paused for a moment. I could see the reflection in the car window. Pastor Jim was over my shoulder and I looked as though he weighed nothing. I shrugged.

"No," I answered.

"I didn't think so," Bobby smiled.

Humans were so strange. I placed Pastor Jim in the truck. Bobby got in and started heading for the Interstate. I wondered where we were going. I realized that we were returning the motel.

"John doesn't want me near his boys," I said.

"I know, but we're all going back to my place," Bobby told me.

"Your place?" I asked.

"Yes," he nodded.

"I'll wait until we get there before I leave," I said.

Bobby stole a glance at me. "You know Rick never did explain what you did".

I smiled, "Rick wouldn't tell you".

The motel sign loomed ahead. Bobby put on the turn signal and pulled into the parking space in front of the room. The door swung open and John framed the doorway. I got out and pulled Pastor Jim over my shoulders. I walked directly to John and handed Pastor Jim over. John was so shocked he simply took him. I smiled. I turned and headed back to Bobby. Bobby stood beside the truck and nodded his head. There were times when it paid to be different. I shook my hair and resumed the shape of the sullen young man. Bobby's eyes widened. I winked at him, pulled out my guitar and started walking back toward the road.

"Wait!" Bobby yelled.

I stopped and faced him.

"You can't hitchhike at this time of night," Bobby shook his head.

"You can't. But I can," I answered. I walked to the road and there was a van that rounded the corner. I asked for a ride, the driver said yes. I got in and drove off. I looked through the wing mirror and saw Bobby's still form receding into the night.

I continued staring out the window, paying scant attention the driver of the van. Then the van pulled off the road. I frowned and looked at him.

"What?" I asked.

"They're following," was the reply.

I shook my head, "Damn humans".

There was a peal of laughter from the driver. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"They're concerned," he said.

"I'm not human," I argued.

"They know that?" he asked.

"Yes," I glared at him.

He shook his head, "There's no understanding them Denri. You know that".

I said nothing in response to that. Humans were unfathomable. These were even more so.

"One would think that I couldn't take care of myself. I'm a far older being," I muttered.

He laughed again.

"What are you doing here anyway?" I asked him.

He looked at me. He wrinkled his brow in amusement, "You get into a van with me, and then you ask what am I doing here?"

I thought about it for a moment. I had recognized him instantly. Besides, even if I hadn't, I wasn't human. It wasn't as though I had to adhere to the human safety practices.

"Micah, it would help if you answered the question," I prodded.

Micah placed his hand on the steering wheel, "I like cars".

I rolled my eyes. Micah was not going to answer my question. He was like that. At least Raphael would give me an answer. I may not like the answer but he would give me one.

"So do I," I agreed to humor him.

Micah smiled, "Cars are so much easier than horses".

"It could have been camels," I suggested.

Micah laughed at that, "Camels? Oh those certainly are fun".

"At least horses will like you after a time," I said.

"Yes, they do like you after a time," Micah nodded.

I saw the truck pull up behind us. Bobby got out and he had John with him. I shook my head, glancing over at Micah. He shrugged. I opened the door and got out.

"I'm not human, I'm perfectly safe," I said before they got closer.

"You get into a van with someone you don't know and we're not supposed to be concerned?" John demanded. He was angry. That was a surprising twist. I looked from one to the other.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"You disappear for eight years," Bobby said, "Then you turn up in some bar, looking like a boy. You help us and now you're just going to vanish again?"

They both were very angry, which I found very confusing. I heard the van door open and saw that Micah had got out of the van. He came around to where we were standing and leaned against the van.

John and Bobby studied him in silence. It was interesting to watch. John and Bobby were not treating him the way that they had treated Harvelle earlier. They were far more cautious. I turned and examined Micah. I tried to see at him from a human perspective. He was tall and muscular, clearly battle hardened. He had an intimidating presence, made even more apparent by his unkempt hair and clothes. However I noticed neither John nor Bobby appeared to be intimidated.

"You're not upset that I got in the van with a stranger," I said.

"No," Micah answered for them, "They're upset that you left".

I looked at Micah for a moment. I shook my head.

"That's ridiculous," I countered.

"No," Bobby said, "He's right".

I took a step back. They were upset that I left. They were upset that I had been gone for eight years.

"But I came back and helped John that time when he and Elkins nearly got themselves killed," I offered.

John laughed. I looked at him.

"Yes," John nodded, "But then before either of us got a chance to say anything, you were gone".

I frowned. I thought back to that day. I couldn't stay around. They were both pretty banged up certainly but I had to capture the thing that they had taken on. It was wounded and I had to destroy it. It had been a Skin – Walker. Those were nasty creatures. It had managed to get the better of the two of them. However, I had saved them.

"But," I shook my head, "I had to chase the thing down before it could heal".

"What?" Bobby asked.

"I told you," John said, "Elkins and I were nearly killed by that Skin – Walker. It was vicious, but she saved us".

"She?" Micah asked.

"We know that she's pretending to be male," Bobby stated.

Micah shook his head.

"What?" I challenged him.

"This is worse than that time with Salome," Micah said.

Bobby and John stopped speaking for a moment. They stared at Micah. They then stared at me.

"Is he like you?" Bobby asked.

"No," Micah answered.

"Then what are you?" John questioned.

"Someone who chose a side," Micah replied.

I looked at him. Micah had never been silent about my decision. He had refused to speak to me before this. It was therefore a surprise when I saw him in the van. There must be something that he wanted.

"Kelsey," Bobby said.

"Kelsey?" Micah raised an eyebrow.

"That's what we call her," John said.

"Hmm, nice name," Micah commented.

Both John and Bobby exchanged looks.

"We haven't spoken in a long time," I explained.

"Oh," John and Bobby said together.

"Besides, John doesn't want me around his children," I said.

Bobby laughed, "Because he doesn't want to have to go through the questions again".

I looked at John. He shrugged his shoulders. "Dean was very attached to you in the brief time you spent with us".

I said nothing. John and Bobby got back into the truck and waited. I looked back at Micah. He stared at me. "You're going to have to choose a side," he said softly.

I said nothing. I had a feeling he was right.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

I stood still watching John and Bobby in the truck. Micah had not moved from his spot. I shook my head. It was becoming increasingly apparent that I was making a concerted choice. Where would that choice lead? I took a deep breath. I knew that Micah was watching me.

"Michael said that the war hasn't stopped," I said.

"Yes," Micah replied.

I looked at him, "I have to return to Hell".

"That much is true," Micah nodded. He raised himself off the back of the van.

The truck hadn't moved off. John and Bobby were waiting to see what I would do. What choice would I make? What choice could I make? I was torn again. I stood as I always did in the middle.

"Denri, it's time to choose," Micah reminded me.

"Which side I'm on?" I asked.

"That as well," Micah nodded.

It was difficult. He knew that it was difficult. Then he smiled at me. I looked at him quizzically.

"What?" I wondered at his smile.

"I don't think you should cry," he stepped in front of me, and wiped a tear from my cheek.

I was surprised at that and then lightning flashed and thunder roared.

"The tears of the angel weeping fall like rain on the Earth," Micah whispered. He kissed my cheek, got in the van, started the engine and drove off.

I stood staring after him. I had forgotten that, for it had been a long time since I had shed tears. The rain intensified. I shook my head, trying to halt the deluge. The mist formed and the thunder screamed as it echoed across the sky. I felt my arm being tugged, so I looked up and saw Bobby trying to pull me toward the truck. I found that quite amusing, thus, I allowed him to pull me. He opened the door and placed me in the truck. John shook his head. A glanced at the rearview mirror showed me that I had shifted to a female shape again. I needed to be more careful. These humans were making me vulnerable. That was the danger to spending too much time with them. Richard had undoubtedly felt it, and had often said that it led several of our kind to become recluses.

Humans pulled you into their lives. They made you feel their pain. They made you weep for their anguish. That wasn't entirely true. Demons did not weep. Demons did not feel any form of compassion. Perhaps that was the problem. In breaking away and forming Hell they had given up the very thing that made them remain within grace. The spawn were born from darkness. They were born from hatred. They could not feel these things and therefore envied them. Michael was right. The war wasn't over; it had never ended, for it had simply shifted into a different form.

As the rain continued, Bobby drove carefully through the downpour. John stared unseeing through the window.

"Can't you do anything about this?" John asked.

"I don't control the weather," I said.

"What kind of powers do you have beside strength?" Bobby asked.

"Self – control," I answered.

"Self – control?" John looked at me oddly.

"Yes," I nodded.

"How is it that self – control is a power?" Bobby sounded intrigued.

"Well," I began, "it took a great deal of self – control not to find a shovel and use it on John here".

Bobby erupted in laughter.

"I think we can add smartass to the list," John grumbled.

Bobby turned the truck into the motel parking lot. He stopped the vehicle and got out. I remained in the truck while both he and John entered the motel room. I watched them through the pouring rain. Then I saw that they had Pastor Jim with them. He appeared groggy and slightly unsteady on his feet, but he was standing. They sat him to sit in the front passenger seat of the Impala. I frowned at that. Surely they weren't going to travel to Bobby's place in this rainstorm. They were both crazy. Then I looked at the motel and realized that they had to leave. It wouldn't do them any good to remain in this place. I had no idea what they had done before I showed up. However what knowledge I had of humans would indicate that they had to operate outside of the laws of society. The confrontation between Pastor Jim and the creature would have attracted attention. If it had not, they were already practiced in that art of concealment.

Bobby got into the truck. He said nothing as he started the engine and drove out of the parking lot. We were headed to his junkyard. He kept an eye on the rearview mirror. He made certain that John kept pace with us. Bobby remained silent for a while. I noticed that we were sticking to the main roads instead of the side roads and back ways.

"How come we're traveling straight?" I asked.

"Because of the rain," Bobby answered. He paused for a moment and narrowed his eyes. It was certainly coming down as if it had never rained before.

"The rain is always nice," I said.

"Sure until it floods," Bobby grumbled.

"Then taking the boys out in this wasn't such a good idea," I commented.

Bobby looked at me for a second and then returned his attention to the road.

"If I crash this damn truck, you'll be fine and I'll be dead," Bobby muttered.

"True," I agreed.

"John's right, smartass is one of your abilities," Bobby shook his head.

I said nothing more. I preferred silence at times, but I must confess that my curiosity was getting the better of me. I sat up straighter in the seat. Bobby noticed that I was moving.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," I said.

"You're up to something," Bobby accused.

"Am not," I said.

"Look, I'm a con man. It's pretty hard to fool me," Bobby argued.

"So, that's how John learned it," I nodded.

"He told you?" Bobby sounded incredulous.

"Well, he confessed as to how he was living," I replied.

Bobby shook his head, and then he smiled.

"Well, I don't suppose you'll report us," Bobby observed.

I thought about that for a moment for it was true. Who would I tell? How would I tell anyone? Hmm… 'Excuse me sir, Mr. Policeman, yes I know some men who are committing fraud… Oh I'm sorry, how do I know that? Well you see one of them confessed to me. Why? Well, the truth is I'm an angel who lives in Hell. I run a newsletter down in Hell too'. Of course that conversation would land anyone in a State Mental Hospital. It wasn't a question of whether they could hold me, it was more a thought that nothing I ever said would stand up in court.

It was a thought that chilled me. If anyone that these men had saved were to tell anyone else, especially anyone in authority, that person would be disbelieved. Humans refuse to accept or face anything that they cannot explain. It was the reason that the churches were full and the reason that the churches were empty. It was the strangest thing.

"What are you thinking?" Bobby demanded.

"I was thinking that I want to know what's happening in the other car," I confessed.

"How would you do that?" Bobby sounded curious.

"Well, I could go visit," I paused.

"But?"

"You'd crash the truck into a ditch," I told him.

Bobby was silent, as he continued driving straight, but he kept glancing at me. I remained silent as well.

"Can't you just…" Bobby trailed off.

"What?"

"I don't know, listen in somehow?" he asked.

"It doesn't work that way," I explained.

"Well then how does it work?" Bobby sounded curious.

I studied him for a moment. It was a unique opportunity I supposed, having a supernatural being that could answer questions without killing the asker.

"It's not something that you should know," I said quietly.

"I think the cat's pretty much out of the bag," Bobby said.

I shrugged at that. It was perhaps correct, however there was a great deal that they did not know and it was safer for them if they didn't. My biggest problem would be convincing them to stop looking. It came back to choice.

"Okay," I said.

"You'll tell me?" Bobby sounded surprised.

"No," I replied.

"What then?" Bobby looked confused.

"I'll tell you something that you need to know," I said.

"What is that?" Bobby asked.

"Using a summoning spell won't summon me," I told him.

Bobby slowed the car and pulled off the road. We weren't near the junkyard yet so I wondered why we were stopping. He switched off the engine and turned to me. I looked at him in return. Then there was a knock on the window, I turned and saw John standing in the rain. John pulled open the door and got in beside me.

"Bobby what the hell?" John demanded.

"I needed to give her my full attention," Bobby explained.

"You needed to give her…?" John wiped his hand over his face, for it was wet from the rain. He shook his head.

"Bobby, don't you think we should wait until we're somewhere dry?"

"No," Bobby said.

I watched him carefully as it was obvious that his mind was racing. I was never one who was privy to the thoughts of humans. I thought about that for a moment. Was it that I simply didn't pay any attention? I wondered then dismissed it. I suppose that if it were necessary I could hear the thoughts of a human, but it was far more fun to listen to what they chose to say.

"Bobby," John pleaded.

"She's leaving John," Bobby said.

"I know that," John said, "We can't force her to stay".

Bobby looked at John. It was apparent that this was an argument that they had had in the truck when they came to get me. It really did boil down to that, freedom.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

I stared at the two of them in that truck. It was a difficult thing considering I was sitting between them, and that was enough to remind me that I could at times feel pain.

"I'm not human," I reminded them.

"Yep," Bobby nodded.

"So, why are you so concerned?" I asked.

"We don't know if you can be killed," John said.

I stared at the both of them. They were concerned that I could be killed.

"You're afraid that I'll die?" I stated in disbelief.

"We kill supernatural things all the time," John said.

"Well, it would take a lot to kill me," I speculated.

"Do you know what would kill you?" Bobby asked.

"Are you planning on killing me?" I asked.

"No," Bobby and John answered in unison.

They eyed me with very suspicious expressions. I had to ask the question. They were hunters and I was a supernatural being. It was their job and life's work to eradicate beings such as myself. John shook his head. Bobby smiled. Then I felt it. It was a sharp jolt. I closed my eyes and focused. Elkins was in serious trouble. I had to leave at that moment.

"I have to go," I said.

"What?" Bobby demanded.

"No, I'm serious I have to go now," I insisted.

"Should I get out?" John asked.

"No, that's not necessary," I said, "Look if you really need me, just think of me. I'll turn up. Don't try summoning me, you might get something else, especially since you've no idea who to call".

Bobby frowned at that. John nodded. He was pretty smart for a human. In fact, they seemed to be getting smarter by the minute. I'd have to indulge my curiosity with the boys later. It would also have to be without their father's knowledge.

I nodded my head and shifted from my physical form. I heard the shocked intake of breath from both of them. Well, they wouldn't give me any privacy, so what did they expect?

I heard the call of Elkins even more clearly. He was alone and outnumbered. Possessed humans were attacking him on several flanks. I crossed the distance quickly. That was one of the advantages of being what I was. I appeared in the room where Elkins hid. He turned suddenly at seeing me. I chose to appear as Kelsey.

"You're here!" Elkins screamed.

"You're in trouble," I said.

"Duh!" he returned.

I frowned at that. It was such a quaint human expression. I shook my head.

"Do you want to live?" I asked him.

"I won't accept your help," Elkins spat.

"How are you going to fight off possessed humans?" I asked him.

"You take your unnatural ass out of here," Elkins said.

"Okay," I shrugged.

"Wait!" he called.

"What?" I was curious.

"I know what you are," Elkins accused.

"An unnatural being," I answered.

"Don't think of shape – shifting into Tommy either," Elkins warned.

So he knew. I had wondered about that.

"You weren't bothered the last time I saved you," I said.

"You're not asking how long I've known?" Elkins demanded.

"No, I won't be bothered by your insults," I returned evenly.

Elkins stared at me for a moment. I saw the flash of doubt enter his eyes. He was not certain about my reaction. In fact, it seemed to disturb him that I was calm. He was hiding something from me. I looked at him carefully. It made no sense for so many of the possessed to attack him, unless…

"You found the damn gun didn't you?" I demanded.

His eyes widened in terror for a moment before he quelled it. I shook my head in disbelief. I railed in my mind at Samuel Colt for being a stubborn bastard. I honestly should have found a way to get that gun from him.

"Give me the gun Daniel," I said.

He glared at me. I had never used his first name before, and he had never looked at me with such hatred.

"This gun is the only way to kill things like you," he spat.

"Are you going to kill me?" I asked. I found it disturbing that he was the third hunter I was asking this question of.

"Can it kill you?" he asked.

I stepped away from him. I knew that the gun could not harm me. I was very specific when I gave Samuel his instructions as to how to make it work against supernatural beings. But the fact that Elkins, a man who I had protected and watched over for so many years could ask that question left me feeling cold. It was the price we paid for loving these humans. In the end that's what had caused the war.

The silence hung between us. It was deafening in its own way. Elkins hung his head. The damage was done. He would never allow me to help me again. He would never permit me to get close to him again. I shook my head. It made me sad. I heard the thunder scream again. I then did something that I had not done for a long time. I became light. It was blinding to both human and demon. As that light I walked through the walls and confronted the possessed humans. The demon spawn recognizing that they were up against something far more powerful fled their human hosts. There were ten of them outside that room. Their souls had held the malignancy of evil. They were afraid and not sure how they got there. I comforted them as best I could, then I retook physical form and the door opened.

Elkins emerged from the room. He looked at me cautiously.

"They're gone," I said, "These people need help".

"How are you going to help them?" Elkins said. His voice was low and cold. I did not deserve such hate from him. Perhaps he felt betrayed. It was difficult to tell with humans. It saddened me for our relationship to end this way.

I saw a pay phone in the corner. I dialed a number. It rang three times before a voice came on the end.

"St. Mary's," the gentle voice answered.

I smiled, "Sister Anthony".

"Ah, if it's yourself," she laughed.

"I need you to come to this address. There are ten people who were possessed," I explained.

"Were possessed?" she asked.

"Yes," I said.

"I take it that they're possessed no more," she commented.

"That would be correct," I said.

"I have a pen and paper, give me the address," she told me.

"321 Worchester Street. It's an abandoned building. You may find a hunter when you get here," I informed her.

"You won't be there?" she asked.

"No Sister Anthony, but I'll come see you soon," I promised.

"As long as you do," I could hear the smile in her voice. The line disconnected.

I turned and found Elkins still watching me.

"That was a nun?" he asked.

"Yes, she'll be here in ten minutes to pick up these people and help them," I said.

"What is she?" he demanded.

"She's human," I said.

"She knows what you are?" he sounded incredulous.

"I saved her when she was child," I told him.

"Is that you get your kicks?" Elkins asked me.

I was dumbfounded. How could I have so misjudged this man? Then I thought for a moment. It was either that I had been exceedingly blind, a distinct possibility, or he was succumbing to his increasing paranoia. I hoped it was the former and not the latter. I had watched too many hunters over the centuries devolve into their paranoia. It made them reclusive and dangerous. That was why I was so adamant about keeping a close eye on the Winchesters. John would lead his sons down the path that blurred dedication with obsession. He would teach them to hate anything that was unnatural. John I realized was tolerant of me for the moment. He genuinely believed that I was not a threat to either his children or himself. But now I was forced to deal with Daniel Elkins.

"I could have killed you a long time ago Daniel," I said gently.

H stepped away from me, his eyes blazed with a mixture of fury and hatred.

"What do you want Daniel?" I asked.

"I want you to leave me alone," he said.

I nodded in agreement.

"I want you to not help me," he continued.

I again nodded.

"Even if I am dying you are not to save me," Elkins finished.

My head snapped up at that. I was to let him die at the hands of anything that chose to hunt him? I was bound by the rules, even though I operated to a certain degree outside of them. A request was made and I had to honor it. It didn't matter how much it hurt me to do that; it was his choice.

"Yes Daniel, I will respect your wishes," I ground out.

His face showed surprise, it was as though he never expected me to agree.

"I don't understand," Elkins his eyes narrowed as confusion replaced his hatred.

"You've made a request Daniel. You have made your choice, and I am bound to honor it," I clarified.

He nodded. I took what I knew would be my final look at him and faded from his sight. I heard footsteps and knew that it was Sister Anthony. She brought others with her and took charge of everyone. As I left, the last words I heard her say was, "You fool!" to Elkins. I must admit I agreed with her on that point.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

There are few words that can describe the sadness I felt at parting from Elkins. He was one of the few humans I had maintained an actual friendship with. That was why I felt so saddened by his reaction. I did what I always did when I felt such sadness; I found a tombstone in a graveyard to sit on. I liked old cemeteries. They tended to have raised headstones, not these flat things that they seem to be so found of these days. Of course they no longer built mausoleums. I always found those to be particularly fascinating. But then there has always been a bit of the macabre in me. So, there I sat on a headstone, knees crossed, staring up at the night sky trying desperately not to cry.

"It won't work you know," I heard Micah's voice behind me.

"I thought you had gone," I said.

He chuckled at that. I refused to turn and face him, so instead he sat on the tombstone in front of me. I was forced to meet his stare.

"It is hard when they turn us away," Micah observed.

"You still haven't told me what you want," I changed the subject.

Micah remained silent across from me. I knew this game all too well, it was about patience and Micah was renowned for his.

"Did it ever occur to you that perhaps I miss you," he offered.

I directed my attention back to him, "You miss me?"

"Don't seem so surprised," Micah shrugged.

"Micah, I haven't seen you in about two thousand years and you say that you missed me?" I was in shock.

"Well when you put it like that," Micah smiled.

I knew when I was being toyed with, however I had hoped that he wouldn't be so unkind.

I waited for him to tell me the real reason behind his appearances.

"Michael is using you to do his dirty work?" I asked.

"No," Micah shook his head.

I shot him a quizzical glance. He shook his head. I wanted to find a shovel at that point. We were in a graveyard; surely some gravedigger was careless and left one lying around. They would never think to search for him in an actual grave. Micah sat perfectly still in his usual quiet stolid way.

"You know what the others are up to?" he asked finally.

"What others?" I was uncertain.

"The demons in Hell," Micah said pointedly.

"I have a vague impression," I waved my hand.

Micah narrowed his eyes at me and I smiled at him. Two could play that particular game and I was not in the mood to lose.

"You are going to be stubborn aren't you?" he accused.

"I prefer tenacious, it's so much prettier don't you think?" I retorted.

Micah groaned at that statement. It had been a very long time since he had been with me. He had forgotten that I could be deliberate and maddening.

"What did the humans say about you? That you're a smartass?" Micah glowered.

"They said that it was one of my abilities," I replied, "In fact, I think they're right".

I jumped off the headstone and headed for the road. Micah fell in step with me. I wasn't exactly going to get rid of him that easily.

Then he grabbed me from behind and threw me across the road. I landed on my feet and turned to face him. I was confused by his actions, however I prepared to defend myself against his assault. Micah came at me with a flaming sword. I managed to get out of his way before the sword connected with my head. I managed to get into a tree and Micah continued swinging his sword. I was stunned.

"Come down from the tree!" Micah called.

"Not 'til you get some sense," I answered.

"You're a coward!" he shouted.

Then I smelled sulfur burning as the road opened up and a hideous being dragged itself out of Hell. It was one of the Fallen; I recognized him instantly and stayed in the tree.

"Well angel," it snarled.

"Well demon," Micah returned.

He, the Fallen whom I shall not name, for to call his name is to summon him, saw me in the tree.

"Why are you in that tree?" he asked.

"I'm not fighting him," I jerked my head at Micah.

Micah waved the flaming sword. I then saw Michael and Raphael appear behind him. The Fallen stared at the two of them, and then at Micah, "Not today angel, but soon". With that he crawled back into Hell sealing the road behind him.

I remained seated firmly in the tree. I was not going to come down. I was going to stay in that tree 'til Judgment Day if necessary. Raphael stood at the foot of the tree.

"Are you going to come down?" he asked.

"No!" I shouted, for I was not about to trust any of them.

"Surely you're not afraid of him?" Micah asked sounding incredulous.

"Afraid?" I repeated, "No it's not him I'm afraid of".

"Come down Denri," Michael said.

"No," I was adamant.

Raphael reached the branch where I was perched easily. I eyed him warily, but he didn't respond. He understood I was very frightened. Now I must explain.

I am not under normal circumstances afraid of anything that lives in Hell. In fact, I pretty much can fight any of them and win. It was the side of the angels that made me feel fear. The Fallen had their own way of fighting and I as a matter of course do not engage them. The spawn on the other hand are a very different thing. They are not capable of doing any real damage to me, but the Fallen who spawned them, well let's just say that I was not in a mood to destroy all of Hell in a fight with them.

Micah stood next Michael and they spoke quietly, while Raphael remained with me in the tree.

"You have always been fond of trees," he said in an attempt to draw me into conversation.

"I'm not speaking to you," I muttered.

Raphael laughed, "Don't worry, we knew that that Fallen was going to appear here. We were surprised to see you turn up".

'He wouldn't have harmed me," I said.

"Perhaps," Raphael shrugged.

I said nothing more. It was apparent that they had something planned. Then I must confess that my curiosity got the better of me.

"How did you know that it was going to turn up here?" I asked.

Raphael took his time to answer. "We were following its spawn".

I turned to him and stared at him horrified. I then jumped out of the tree. Raphael followed me.

Both Michael and Micah turned to see what I was doing. I came straight at them and hit them both hard. The blow was powerful and they were unprepared for it so they both went flying through the air and knocked down three power lines. Michael got to his feet first. He stood staring at me while he helped Micah up; I realized that his gaze slid to Raphael who was still standing by the tree.

"I forgot that she knows how to smote an enemy," Micah grinned.

Michael grinned as well, "She wouldn't have survived so long in Hell if she couldn't fight".

"Well I'm glad that you are both so amused," I snapped at them. Then something clicked.

"What's this about that particular Fallen's spawn?" I demanded.

Micah and Michael exchanged glances, it was then that I had confirmation of what I had long suspected.

"You let those women die?" I cried.

"We don't think that many of the mothers have died," Micah answered.

"How many children?" I needed to know.

"He's been busy," Raphael spoke up.

"But you're saying that not all the mothers were killed?" I questioned.

"No," Michael shook his head, "That's why we need you".

"Oh it's a need now is it?" I was not in a very forgiving mood.

"Yes need," Micah said, "Look I'm sorry that I attacked you, but you weren't supposed to be here".

"Where is the spawn?" I wanted to know.

"He disappeared the moment you turned up on that headstone," Micah explained.

"He disappeared the moment…?" I trailed off. I had not sensed anyone or thing near me, but then I was very much wrapped up in the rejection of Elkins. It grieved my heart and I felt the sadness threatening to overwhelm me, as again the thunder echoed through the sky.

"We really need to untie the rain from her feelings," Micah grumbled.

"No," Michael disagreed.

Micah shrugged. He glanced at me sideways, "The spawn was watching you for a while".

"When it left is when you showed?" I asked.

"Yes," Micah nodded, "Raphael and Michael made certain that it was gone. When I realized that the Fallen was going to break through, I attacked you".

"You're protecting me?" I was shocked.

Micah smiled at that. He had been there earlier when both John and Bobby attempted to 'rescue' me from the stranger in the van.

"Don't say it," he pleaded.

"I'm not in the mood to be accommodating," I retorted.

"Being in Hell certainly hasn't changed you much," Michael observed.

I waved my fist at him and he stepped back. It was not that I could actually hurt him, at least I don't think that I could actually hurt him, it was that he was not about to do battle with me, when he needed me.

I thought for a moment, then, I turned my attention to where the Fallen had broken through. I remembered the number of ads in the newsletter begging demons to not claw their way out of Hell. This Fallen had elected to ignore the plea, which made me even more curious as to what they had planned.

"The colt, where is it?" Michael asked.

"You know about it?" I asked, "Of course you do. I don't know".

"Are you being truthful?" Micah asked.

"Yes," I nodded. It was the truth for I had no idea if Elkins really had the gun. However, if the spawn was bonding psychic children, that did not bode well.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

I left them there on that road outside of the cemetery. I needed to go quickly to where John Winchester and his family stayed. Fortunately they were headed to Bobby's and Bobby had not changed his address. I sped to the junkyard and I prayed that no harm would come to any of the humans who were there.

I arrived in the early hours of the morning. I quickly entered the house and noted that there were lines of salt on all the doors and windows. They certainly were ensuring that they were protected. I wandered through the house and observed Pastor Jim sleeping on the couch. He was restless and I calmed him. Then I went to the back rooms of the house. In one room on twin beds were the boys asleep. I stopped. They looked at peace. I turned to leave when a voice stopped me.

"Who is there?" the voice belonged to Sam; he was still drowsy.

I contemplated not answering. Then Dean roused from sleep, he sat up in the bed and his eyes darted about the room.

"You're having a dream Sammy," Dean grumbled.

"No," Sam was completely awake now.

"No?" Dean glared at him.

"No," Sam was adamant.

Dean paused and stared at his brother for a moment. He heaved a sigh and pulled the covers back. I must confess to be amused at this.

"Okay, I'll have a look," Dean sighed, "Where is it?"

Sam screwed his eyes and concentrated. He soon focused on where I stood and then he pointed. Dean looked at me, however he could not see me. Had that sense as a child that allowed him to see me been drummed out of him as well? But he took a step back, and he pulled Sam out of the bed and made him stand behind him.

"Dean, what are you…?" Sam began.

"Shush!" Dean silenced him.

Sam complied.

They both stood in the room cautiously surveying me. They could sense my presence but they were unsure of what exactly my purpose was.

"Dean, dad said that an evil thing can't cross the salt lines," Sam said after a few tense moments.

"True, but that still doesn't…" Dean trailed off.

"What?" Sam softly punched Dean in the back.

"Sammy, don't do that!" Dean warned.

"If it isn't evil, what is it?" Sam demanded.

"I don't know. It feels familiar. Like I know this," Dean's face crinkled in concentration. Then I heard the heavy footfalls in the hallway. John's voice boomed through the door, "What are you two doing up at this time of the morning?" his eyes were fiery.

Neither Sam nor Dean said anything.

"Well?" John stood directly in front of his sons, towering over the both of them.

"There's something in the room," Sam spoke up.

John crooked an eyebrow at them. "Something? Care to be more specific?"

"It's a presence, sir," Dean answered.

John went perfectly still. He muttered "Kelsey," under his breath.

"Dad?" Dean frowned.

"Never mind, go back to bed, whatever it was must have been a dream," John told them.

Neither of them moved. John glared at the both of them, "Do I need to repeat myself?"

"No sir" they said in unison. Both boys scrambled back under the covers and closed their eyes. Whether or not they actually went back to sleep was irrelevant to John, he simply wanted them back in bed. He left the room and he indicated that I should follow.

I debated whether or not I should 'appear' to them, when I saw Bobby enter the room. He placed his hand on John's.

"You better get to Elkins," Bobby said.

"What?" John asked.

"He just called," Bobby shook his head, "He was pretty shaken up".

John returned to the room with the boys. I didn't follow him for I felt that he wanted to tell them that he was going away for a few days. I chose then to let Bobby know I was there.

"Hello Bobby," I smiled at him. Bobby stepped back and crashed into a chair. I couldn't help myself, I laughed at his surprise.

"Damn it girl, don't do that!" Bobby exclaimed.

"Girl?" I grinned at him.

"Yes girl," Bobby muttered as he stood, "If you're going to look like one, you're going to get called one".

The fake anger to cover up the sheer shock of my appearance, I shrugged, Samuel Colt had done the same thing. Bobby stood staring at me for a moment.

"Why am I not going to Daniel?" I asked.

He nodded.

"He has told me that even if he's dying that I'm to stay away from him," I waved my hand.

Bobby sucked in his breath, "That ass".

I raised an eyebrow at him, for he was the second human to have a similar opinion.

Bobby studied me for a moment, "Surely you're not going to listen to him?"

"Listen to what?" John said as he re – entered the room.

I turned to him and smiled, "Hello John".

"You caused my boys some concern," John leveled at me.

I shrugged my shoulders. He grabbed me and turned me to face him.

"Watch it John, I'm not that forgiving," I warned.

"I don't care what you are, my boys are to be safe even if it means protecting them from you," John's nose was almost at mine.

I shook him off easily, and Bobby stood between us.

"Easy John, Elkins told her to leave him alone," Bobby said.

John took a good look at me, then, he frowned, "Is that why you're here?"

"No," I shook my head.

Bobby narrowed his eyes, "Something happened".

I sat on the top of the chair. It was a thing I did occasionally, but never normally in the presence of humans. I was perfectly balanced and then I saw that they were staring at me in utter disbelief.

"It'll take some getting used to," John muttered.

"Some? You think we're ever going to get used to her?" Bobby shook his head at that thought.

"I'm still here," I reminded them.

"It's kinda hard to forget sweetheart," Bobby said.

I raised an eyebrow at him. He actually called me sweetheart? I thought back to another human who had done that. It was amazing how several thousand years hadn't changed the fundamental way of male expression.

"So, as I was saying before John here interrupted," Bobby shot me a knowing glance.

"I'm bound by rules Bobby," I said.

"Rules?" John jumped at that.

"Yes, rules," I said.

"What kind of rules?" John continued.

"The kind that affect freedom of choice and will right?" Bobby guessed.

I nodded.

John stared at Bobby, "But that means…"

"Exactly," Bobby nodded, "Elkins told her to never save him".

John sank on to the nearest table. He dropped his face in his hands, and contemplated this for a moment. "If I told you to never go near Sam and Dean?"

I felt a slight tremor, "Yes".

"If I asked you to watch over them?" John wondered.

"Then I would," I said, "But I don't interfere with choices".

"You just save us when we can't save ourselves," Bobby grinned.

"No," I explained, "I can not interfere in the natural order of life. If a human threatens you I am not permitted to interfere or intervene. If it is a supernatural threat then I can, but only in specific circumstances. I can not be summoned only called".

Bobby and John thought this over for a moment. Then Bobby pressed, "So what exactly are you Kelsey?"

"I exist in a very interesting area," I smiled.

Neither Bobby nor John seemed to be comfortable with that statement. I couldn't help it, I thought of what their response would be if they knew the entire truth.

"Well, Elkins said that he needs to see you John," Bobby said.

"Take care of the boys until I get back," John said. John pulled himself together and walked out the house.

As I watched him leave, I noticed that there were two pairs of eyes spying on us.  
"Now what would your father say if he knew you weren't sleeping?" I asked softly.

Sam came forward with Dean attempting to stop him.

"Who are you?" Sam demanded.

"I'm Kelsey," I said.

"Bobby and dad seem to know you well, but we've never met you," Sam continued.

I glanced at Dean, he was uncomfortable with the way Sam was interrogating me but it was apparent that he wanted the answers as well.

"It's not like that boys," I said.

Bobby nodded, "Kelsey is an old pain, is all".

I glared at Bobby, however he merely scratched the back of his head.

"An old pain?" Dean grinned.

"Yes, she's got a lot in common with you two," Bobby smiled at them.

"I don't have to stay and take this abuse you know," I warned.

"True, but John asked you to watch over them," Bobby said.

"No he didn't," I shook my head.

Bobby nodded. I stood still for a moment, and then I realized what John had done. He had said to take care of the boys, but he didn't need to tell Bobby that, did he? John Winchester better hope that I don't get my hands on that shovel.

"What's going through your head?" Dean asked.

I smiled, "Nothing dear, I'm just wondering how attached the two of you are to your father".

Sam and Dean exchanged worried glances, however Bobby erupted in laughter.

"Come on let's get breakfast," Bobby said.

"Um, Kelsey?" Dean began.

"Yes," I smiled at him.

"Please tell me you can cook," Dean said. Sam nodded his head in agreement.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

It surprised me that the boys hoped that I could cook. I must admit that cooking is not a skill that one would associate with a being such as myself. However, over the years it has been necessary to fill in a number of human jobs in order to fix a problem. Cooking is a skill that I acquired while working for a few months as an overweight short order cook in one of the greasiest diners ever found West of the Mississippi. I liked being in that place with those people, even though I would never dare eat the food. So there I was in Bobby's kitchen attempting to figure out what that man had to eat except beer laced with holy water.

By this time Pastor Jim had recovered enough to balk at the prospect of drinking beer for breakfast. He and Bobby decided to drive to the nearest store, both firmly believing that I could handle two boys. Sam and Dean decided that they would treat me as though they had known me all their lives. I found it amusing that they would do that, but then I thought about the number of different people who probably came in and out of their lives. I stopped in mid – thought, were they exposed to different people? I studied the two boys carefully. They were well fed, that was certainly obvious regardless of how John was raising them, and they were quite healthy.

"So what exactly are you?" Sam voiced his question again.

"I am a friend of you and your family," I answered, "That is all you ever need to know".

"Will you keep us safe?" Sam continued.

"She can't do that," Dean told him.

"Of course she can," Sam argued.

"Sammy use your brain, there are limitations to what she can do," Dean said.

My head snapped up as I listened to what Dean said. He had been listening long enough to hear me tell both Bobby and John about the rules.

"Yes, well as far as she can," Sam retorted.

Sam and Dean faced off against each other. I simply smiled and pulled Sam away from Dean.  
"Aw come on Kelsey," Sam cried, "He's not gonna hit me".

"Wanna bet?" Dean growled.

I looked at the both of them. "There will be no hitting," I said firmly.

"You don't much about boys do you?" Sam told me.

"No, apparently not," I observed.

Dean stared at me for a moment, "I'm not going to hurt my brother".

He wore such a serious expression. Sam jumped out from behind me, "She knows that, jerk!"

Dean narrowed his eyes for a moment, "One day, Sammy. One day," he pronounced.

Fortunately at that moment Bobby walked in the door with Pastor Jim lugging groceries.

Both Sam and Dean rushed to help them, then Sam stopped midway and turned back to me, "You can cook right?"

I smiled, "What do you want?"

Both Sam and Dean gave a jubilant shout that raised both Bobby's and Pastor Jim's eyebrows. Bobby shook his head, "One would think we'd been feeding these kids some form of toxic waste or something".

"Well, then it's a miracle they've survived isn't it?" I grinned.

"Yep, smartass is definitely one of your abilities," Bobby muttered.

Pastor Jim shook his head at the exchange, but he still wore a haunted expression that would be with him for a long time. I grabbed the bags from Dean and set about making some breakfast. Since no one would tell me what he wanted to eat, I decided to whip up a regular size diner breakfast.

I had two very sharp pairs of eyes watching me as I cooked. Bobby and Pastor Jim simply stayed out of our way. When everything was done, I wondered if I had cooked too much.

"Don't worry about it," Bobby said.

"No?" I smiled.

"Dean can eat his twice his body weight in an hour," Bobby told me.

"Hey," Dean called out with his mouth full, "That's not true!"

Sam ducked his head, but he was eating just as much as Dean was. Pastor Jim negotiated some food before it all vanished from in front of them. I was amused.  
"It would help if you ate," Bobby advised.

"I don't have to eat," I said.

"I know, but it looks better," Bobby prodded.  
I saw it from his perspective and it wouldn't look good for the cook to refuse her own cooking. I was amazed at the sizeable dent they had made. I glanced back at Bobby.

"Haven't you been feeding them?" I wondered.

"It's not that," Pastor Jim spoke up for the first time.

"Oh?" I was glad that he was speaking.

"They've not had this kind of cooking in a while," he reasoned.

"What? Diner cooking?" I asked.

Bobby turned to face me, "You were a short order cook?"

"Yes," I nodded, "My banana cream pie was a main event".

All the forks dropped on their plates. I had four pairs of eyes staring at me in surprise.

"You bake?" they all said as one.

I raised my eyebrows at them, "I take it that you expect more food?"

"Would you mind terribly?" Dean asked.

I studied his face. He wore an adorable expression that would make human females melt when he was older. I then turned my attention to Sam and saw that he also had inherited the same adorable expression. I also saw that both boys had their father's smile and erstwhile charm. I felt sorry for women everywhere when these two were all grown up.

"Fine, I'll bake," I grumbled.

There were four smiles that greeted my decision and at that I laughed. The food was finished fairly rapidly and the kitchen was cleared as I stayed behind with Pastor Jim to figure out what kind of pie I could possibly bake.

The boys went outside with Bobby to work on an engine. It was summer so school was out. I did wonder about that though.

"Don't they go to school?" I asked.

"Of course they do," Pastor Jim said, "it's just that they move frequently. It happens all the time. People shift jobs and what not".

I thought about that, and it was certainly true enough, besides John Winchester was not likely to leave his sons for extended periods of time to hunt something that could take months to track.

"John doesn't hunt all the time," Pastor Jim added.

"He doesn't?" I was curious.

"No," Jim shrugged, "he will occasionally take some time off and let the boys stay in one place".

"Well that's mighty good of him," I said.

Pastor Jim chuckled. I turned to him and frowned.

"No," he shook his head, "It's just that you are so concerned about these boys".

"If memory serves me correct we all met at the same time," I reminded him.

"Yes," he nodded, "Eight years is a long time".

I heard the seriousness of his tone and I stared directly into his eyes, "Time moves differently for me than you," I explained, "Besides I had other things to deal with".

Pastor Jim was silent at that, and I took advantage of his silence and discovered that there was fruit in the grocery bags. There were several peaches, I looked at them for a moment.  
"Peach cobbler?" I suggested.

"That would be good," Pastor Jim nodded.

The sound of the telephone ringing distracted his attention and he left to answer it. I was perfectly content trying to find the rest of ingredients to make the pie. Bobby came in with the boys behind him and saw that I had found the peaches. He smiled at me as he guessed what I would be baking. Before he could speak, Pastor Jim re – entered the room.

"Jim, I thought I heard the phone," Bobby said.

"Yes, it's for her," Jim nodded at me.

I dropped the knife that I held in my hand. There was a telephone call for me? Who would possibly know where I was or even to use a telephone to call me? I was confused.

I went to the instrument.

"Hello?" I ventured.

"It's yourself isn't it?" I heard the bright voice of Sister Anthony on the other end.

"Sister Anthony?" I was shocked, "What's the matter?"

"Nothing's much the matter," she answered.

"Nothing much?" I demanded.

"That man Elkins is crazy is all," she said.

"Did he harm you?" I actually experienced a flash of fear.

"No," she assured me, "That other nice man John came before he could exorcise me".

She sounded both amused and exhilarated at the prospect of being exorcised.

"Exorcism isn't nice Sister Anthony," I chided.

"Well of course not, if you're possessed," she argued.

I had to smile at that reasoning. She was safe and fine, which made me feel better, but it was apparent that John had given her the number to call me.

"So everything is okay now?" I prodded.

"Yes," Sister Anthony confirmed, "I just wanted to make sure that they hadn't hurt you".

"I'm not likely to be hurt by them, Sister Anthony," I assured her.

"That's fine, but be sure to check in with me and Father Bennett," Sister Anthony ended the call.

I replaced the receiver in its cradle. I thought carefully about what Sister Anthony said. I was to see her as soon as I could. That meant that I had to wait until John returned.

"Is everything all right Kelsey?" Sam's voice cut through my thoughts.

I smiled, "Of course it is, you up for peach cobbler?"

Both Sam and Dean's faces lit up. I followed them into the kitchen and began making the pie. I decided to bake three of them, and by the time they had dinner one and a half pies had been consumed. The door opened and a haggard looking John walked through it. He smiled at his sons.  
"You survived her cooking?" John asked.

"Dad, she's a great cook," Sam said.

I smiled at that praise, and Dean merely nodded his agreement. He seemed troubled.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"You're leaving now," Dean said.

"I'll be back," I promised.

"Yes, but who knows when," Dean returned. I was hard pressed to disagree.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

I said my goodbyes to them and left the house. Bobby stood on the front porch staring after me as I walked away. I knew that he was concerned but there were other things that I had to deal with. Sister Anthony was not one to panic and she had mentioned Father Bennett. I quickly raced to the church where I knew Sister Anthony waited.

The church was old, built from before the time of the American War for Independence in the style that was contemporary in Europe of the time. It was a beautiful church that had been maintained and kept to its original stature. I entered the doors carefully, and looked around the darkened interior. I saw Sister Anthony kneeling at the altar deep in prayer. I approached her and sat on the top of the pew. I knew he was present in the church and I simply waited for him to appear.

"You are certainly walking a fine line," he said behind me.

I refused to turn and face him. He walked in front of me and forced me to look at him.

"I said that you're walking a fine line," he repeated.

"There's no need to involve her," I ground out.

"You should back off," he said.

"You don't and can't control me," I answered.

He stepped away from me and walked towards her. She was kneeling and deep in prayer. She was innocent and she was in the middle of this fight. The sound of a door opening echoed in the distance. I narrowed my eyes at him and stood on the top of the pew.

"You'd fight me?" he growled.

"For her and for them, I'll throw you down into the pit myself," I told him.

"You have a place in Hell," he said.

"I know what I am, and so do you," I retorted.

"You still stink angel," he sneered.

"At least it's not the stench of sulfur like you," I returned.

His hands formed into claws and I moved quickly dragging him by his neck and flinging him across the aisle of the church. Sister Anthony stood quickly, she grabbed her rosary but she couldn't tell where the noise was coming from. She saw nothing disturbed before her. There was the running of footsteps and Father Bennett came around the corner.

"Sister Anthony!" he called.

"I'm all right Father," she responded.

"Come, we must leave now," he grabbed her.

"This is the house of the Lord, nothing can come in here," she insisted.

"There are things that you don't know Sister Anthony, now come quickly," Father Bennett pulled her with him out of the main chapel area and into the sacristy.

I made certain that they were safe before I returned my full attention to what I was fighting. I jumped out of the way of the claws that were aimed at me. I then somersaulted on top of the pew. He snarled at me and I merely shrugged. He lunged at me with his claws slashing and I caught him with one hand and again sent him flying across the church. I ran quickly and together we went through the stained glass window. This church had been witness to many battles over the years and had stood the abuse quite well. I jumped away from him. He hissed and spat at me.

"You can't control me," I reminded him.

He attempted again to grab me and I leapt out of the way.

"You are an angel," he hissed.

"But I live in Hell with you," I confessed.

"You do more than that," he said.

I nodded, "So you remember now".

He glared at me, "One day we will win this war".

"That day is not today," I said, "Now leave them be".

He dragged himself to his feet, "You have not won".

"I have not lost," I returned evenly.

He walked away and the night swallowed him. I ran quickly inside the church, remembering to become visible and threw open the doors of the sacristy. Father Bennett stood there with Sister Anthony. She was safe and I was relieved.

"Next time choose your time better," I said with a grin.

"Next time? I better get you a pager or a beeper or something," Father Bennett answered.

"Father, what happened?" Sister Anthony frowned.

"It's better you don't know Sister, it's better you don't know," Father Bennett assured her.

I nodded in agreement.

Sister Anthony turned her full attention to me, "Why if it isn't yourself".

My smile widened at her greeting, "You've never cared for a name".

"You won't ever give me the real one," Sister Anthony admonished, "So why would I bother with a fake?"

I wrapped my arms around her and she was soft and warm. She returned my embrace and I remembered the little girl I had stayed with that cold day in January. The one who was full of life and hope and clung to life with every breath she took. She never wavered in her faith and when she was grown and decided to enter the church and become a nun I had followed her as well. I could not protect her from the evil that befell her, for that had been the evil of men. However she did not give up and I had stayed with her.

"You have never left me," she whispered.

"No," I shook my head.

"That man Elkins is an idiot," she told me.

I laughed at that comment.

Father Bennett watched us carefully, "Sister Anthony why don't you go see that everything is ready for the next Mass".

"Oh, you be getting rid of me," she surmised, "No matter, I know she will always come when I have need of her".

I smiled at her and watched as she walked off.

"You are very attached to them," he said quietly.

"I was created to love them. As were we all," I told him.

"I chose to give everything up, you know that," Father Bennett said.

"I think that Richard has made the same decision that you did," I smiled sadly.

He shook his head, "Not all of us can do this," he sighed, "You're different".

"So I keep hearing," I nodded.

We stared at each other for a moment and then laughed. We had shared a lot of moments together, and he had chosen to become human. I was different than the others who had remained on the surface.

"You are still an angel," he said.

"Yes apparently," I smiled at that.

He nodded at me and then he went to the door, "I have to prepare now".

I nodded my head and he walked through it. But then he turned back and looked at me, "I know that when it comes time you will be with me. I know that you will hold my hand and take me with you".

"Yes, I will follow the Reaper," I nodded.

"Do not cry for me," he said gently, "I have made my choice". With that he left.

I closed my eyes for a second and a riot of different feelings swept through me. I had never thought that one of our own would choose to become human and take on the fate of mortality. It was not unheard of but it was still jarring to me. I supposed that it got to be too much after a while; it was enough to make me go down into Hell and stay there for a good period of time. The truth is that human existence is frail and fleeting. I had buried many of them and I had wept every time. But this would be a very different thing for me. This was one of my own kind who had chosen to become one of them.

I walked back into the main area of the church and I stood looking at the altar. I shook my head and turned to the main doors. I stopped when the doors opened and John Winchester stood in the doorway. I frowned when I saw him.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded.

"I was curious," John shrugged, "It's not too far from Bobby's".

I narrowed my eyes, "I'm not in the mood to deal with you right now, John Winchester".

John stood silent for a moment. He seemed to be taking his time deciding what to say to me.  
"You're hurt," John nodded.

My frowned deepened, then, I looked down at my shoulder. There were gouges in it. I threw my head back in exasperation. That blasted thing had managed to scratch me. But at least I had managed to damage it as well. I shook my head.

"Maybe I should look after it?" he offered.

I stared at him unseeing for a moment as I pondered the ramifications of this wound. I had felt it, and neither Father Bennett nor Sister Anthony had… I paused for a moment. My eyes widened in horror, "John whatever you do, don't move!" I screamed at him.

I became a bright light again and quickly arrived in Father Bennett's office where Sister Anthony was bent over the desk with Bennett's claws about to rip her throat. I quickly threw myself at him and sent him crashing into the wall. I held him off and pulled Sister Anthony away from him.

"Run!" I screamed at her and Sister Anthony obeyed; she ran from the office. I quickly placed myself between Father Bennett and the door. He growled at me and I was appalled at the way I had been fooled.

"You killed him?" I stared for a moment.

"What do you think?" he snarled.

"Your mistake was scratching me," I told him.

"You'll kill your friend," he said.

"He'd rather die than be possessed by you," I hissed at him.

Then I grabbed him and pulled the spawn that possessed Father Bennett out of his body. It screamed with rage, and I moved quickly from the church and into the main garden. I stamped my foot on the ground and a hole opened up, I then threw him down into the pit. I knew it would not hold the spawn for any real length of time but it would be a few years before it could walk on the surface again. I retook physical form and turned and saw John round the corner with Sister Anthony.   
"I told you to stay put!" I growled at him.

Both of them stopped, and I shook my head, "I keep telling you that you have no real idea what I am".

"You protect us," Sister Anthony said, "And that has always been enough for me".

"Me too," John added.

I saw Father Bennett struggle to join them, "And me," he added, "Thank you".


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

I was faced with a difficult decision and I wasn't exactly sure how I would approach it. Father Bennett came closer to where I stood, he placed his hand on my shoulder, and I shook my head. He lowered his head.

"It's not your fault," I whispered.

"If I hadn't made the choice," he said.

Sister Anthony had her arms around John. It was an act that had me puzzled for a moment, so I looked at her quizzically. She merely grinned at me.

"Sister?" I asked.

"Oh who could resist, I'm a nun, I'm not dead yet," she continued grinning.

John wore a puzzled expression, however he didn't shrug her off, in fact he had placed his arms around her. It was enough to make me laugh.

"Well at least you're not crying," Father Bennett nodded.

"You should know how to ward off possession," I snapped at him.

"Yes," Father Bennett nodded, "Only I wasn't prepared for it."

I jabbed my finger lightly in his chest, "You're vulnerable now."

"Yes," Father Bennett nodded, "But does that mean that I stop fighting because I'm not able to fight like I once did?"

I continued shaking my head, and I looked over at John. He wasn't one to back down, and none of the others would either.

I felt the wound searing into my flesh, and I knew that I had to leave them. I walked over to John and Sister Anthony.

"I have to leave now," I said.

John stared at me glumly, "You have to heal".

"I'll check in with you," I said.

"What do I tell the boys?" John demanded.

"Don't worry," I told him.

Then I shifted from physical form and left him standing there with the others.

I returned rather quickly to Bobby's. I took my time outside on the fence wondering whether or not to enter, when I saw the front door open. I waited and saw Sam walk out on to the porch. I had not expected him to be looking out, but then I thought he was probably seeing if his father had returned. Dean joined him after a few seconds.

I walked toward them and they both stepped back as they saw me appear seemingly from nowhere.  
"You boys need to keep your wits about you," I said.

"You're not coming back," Sam said to me.

"I'll have to be gone longer than I planned, yes," I told him.

"You're hurt," Dean reached for my shoulder but I held his hand. I didn't want him touching a wound that was caused by a demon.

"That's why I have to be gone for a while," I explained.

"Why?" Sam frowned.

"Because it will take time to heal from this," I said, "I have to undergo a special kind of treatment".

Sam and Dean nodded. I wasn't sure if they actually understood or if they were simply trying to hold themselves together.

"We'll miss you," Dean said quietly.

"I'll not be far," I smiled at him.

Sam's head bobbed up and down, "You can cook good".

I laughed at that, "Well I'm sure that you will one day too".

His face broke out into a smile at that. I kissed the top of both their heads and then walked back the way I came. The night mist enveloped me, and I heard Bobby's voice call to the boys.

I wandered back to the same cemetery I was at earlier. I sat on the tombstone and waited for Micah to return.

"You certainly got yourself into it this time," Micah said from behind me.

"Yes," I nodded.

"Well, are you ready for this?" he asked.

"No, but it must be done," I said.

He nodded. Then he pulled me to him and wrapped me within him. We both became light and merged with each other. The healing was a difficult and dangerous process. I sensed when Raphael and Michael joined us, then, the others came. The wound was deep and the infection needed to be purged. I closed my eyes at that point and simply slept.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed when I finally woke. We were no longer in that cemetery but another. I lay on the ground and stared up at Michael perched atop a headstone. He stared down at me for a moment, and then he nodded.

"We weren't sure if you were going to survive," he said.

"It would take more than that to kill me," I answered.

"That's not what I meant," he said pointedly.

I kept silent on that point. It wasn't a matter of the wound killing me, but it could have infected me with the venom from its evil. The purging required a great deal of energy and given that I was living in Hell, there was far more risk to me than to any of the others had they been in a similar situation.

I sat up gingerly, it certainly didn't feel like I had expected. I was with them this entire time?

"What happened in Hell?" I asked.

"Now that was interesting," Michael commented.

I scowled at him, "How long has it been?"

"It's been a while," Michael shrugged, "Although for the entire time you were indisposed we had no encounters with them".

I remained silent.

"Care to explain Denri?" Michael prodded.

"No," I shook my head.

Michael nodded, "I understand. It certainly explains a lot".

"It explains nothing," I said.

"That's exactly the point isn't it?" Michael caught my eyes and looked directly in his.

I remained silent for it was not for him to know. It was not for any of them to know.

I wanted to leave the cemetery. I stood carefully and then I felt them. I looked behind me and saw what was attached to my back. It was at that point I knew where I had slept. I glared at Michael for a moment.

"You're leaving now?" he asked.

I merely grimaced at him, then I arched my back and became light so that I could get rid of the pesky appendages, which were a bitch to hide under coats and stuff and frankly I have never liked the long overcoat thing. But that was a story for a very different time. I had to find out exactly how long I slept and I knew that Michael was intent on keeping me there. I also knew why he was attempting to do that, but I had a few things up my sleeve.

I resumed physical form minus the appendages. I smiled at Michael and walked through the gates of the cemetery. I had to find a road and go back down into Hell where there were things that needed to be handled. I stopped in the middle of my tracks, for I heard the soft sound of crying. I knew who was crying and I wasn't sure why. I quickly went to the source of the tears.

I stood there at the foot of the mound, and saw the boy sitting with his arms around his legs crying. I walked up the incline and knelt beside him.

"Sammy, why the tears?" I asked gently.

His head snapped up and the tears ceased, he blinked several times. He was definitely older than the last time I saw him, with that I surmised that I had been asleep for about two of their years.

"Where were you?" his eyes still glistened.

"I was asleep," I answered truthfully.

"Why?" he placed his hand on my face.

"I had to heal," I replied.

"Sammy!" a voice boomed behind us, "Who the hell are you…." The voice trailed off.

I turned and was faced with an older Dean. He was a now a teenager, I guessed about fourteen. He was taller and a bit gangly, however he was growing in terms of his presence. He did not give the usual aura of an uncertain teen. I knew the reason for this, was that, he had seen far too much.

"Hello Dean," I smiled.

"Kelsey!" Dean came closer and stopped right in front of us. Sam at this point also stood; he hurriedly wiped away any sign that he had been crying. However the way Dean scrutinized him I knew that Sam had failed at it.

"Where have you been?" Dean questioned.

"She was healing," Sam answered.

"You were that hurt?" Dean furrowed his brow.

"She's been gone two years, of course she was that hurt, jerk," Sam lashed out.

Dean turned to him, "Sammy".

"I hate him," Sam said quietly.

I watched the two of them intently, and saw that there had been a shift in the relationship between them. Dean seemed more parental than brotherly in my observation of their interaction.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"No," Dean shook his head.

"Don't lie to her," Sam snapped.

"I'm not lying to her Sammy," Dean shook his head.

"What's the problem?" I tried a different angle.

"Sammy's been having nightmares," Dean said.

"I wish you guys would leave me alone about that," Sam muttered.

"What kind of nightmares?" I prodded.

"Nothing really," Sam hung his head.

"Tell me," I placed my fingers under his chin and raised his eyes to meet me.

"It's nothing," the tears threatened to flow again.

"He didn't want dad to leave on this latest hunt," Dean told me.

"Oh?" I said.

"Yes," Sam nodded, "I don't see why we can't just leave this alone".

I placed my arms around him, "I understand, he's stubborn like that".

"You've always known he was that stubborn?" Dean asked.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

I was amazed at the way they had accepted me. But then I did cook and bake for them once and it is quite true that to keep the devotion of humans it is necessary to feed them at least once. I shook my head and laughed at the two of them.

"Well," I replied to him, "I have been inclined to use a shovel on your father on more than one occasion."

"Want help?" Sam asked.

"Sammy!" Dean exclaimed, but there was amusement in his eyes and relief that his brother seemed to be for the moment at least cheered up.

"So where are you staying?" I asked.

"We're old enough to stay by ourselves, but we're at Bobby's," Dean shrugged.

"We've been old enough for a long time," Sam grumbled.

"Don't keep it all in, Sammy dear, you might hurt yourself," I grinned at him.

We walked to the entrance of the park. I stopped in my tracks as I saw the Impala parked by the gate. The boys who were walking in step with me realized that I wasn't with them anymore and turned back.

"What's the matter Kelsey?" Sam asked.

"You have the car?" I frowned at them.

"Yes, I can drive," Dean nodded, "Dad gave her to me."

"He said he wouldn't give you that car until you were sixteen," I said.

Dean shrugged, "I guess he changed his mind."

"Come on Kelsey, we're going back to Bobby's," Sam pulled me forward to the car. He climbed into the backseat with me.

Dean settled in the driver's seat. I smiled to myself, I wonder if John had taught him to drive. That would have certainly been something to see.

"What're you thinking?" Sam nudged.

"Hmm, no I was wondering what it was like watching your dad teach Dean how to drive," I grinned.

"Dad didn't teach Dean," Sam said.

"No?" I was shocked.

"Pastor Jim did," Sam told me.

"Pastor Jim?" I was confused.

"Yep, they figured that Pastor Jim was the only one who knew enough prayers and could pray long and hard enough to survive Dean's driving," Sam grinned.

I laughed at that image and I shook my head, but while that was happening I caught Dean's eye briefly in the mirror and he was laughing as well.

The drive to Bobby's was relatively quick and Dean seemed to be quite competent at driving the car, although I was a bit concerned about his speeding. But he was a boy and they do tend to drive rather quickly in my estimation. Bobby was on the front porch waiting for them and with him was a man I had never seen before. He looked to be the same age as John; he was tall and carried a similar bearing about him. Dean stopped the car and stared for a moment at the man standing next to Bobby, his face broke into a wide grin.

"Hey Sammy," Dean turned to Sam, "Look who's here."

Sam's eyes quickly scanned the front porch and he was out the car before I could see him moving.

"Deacon!" Sam cried as he ran to him.

The man who was obviously Deacon bounded down the steps and picked Sam up and swung him around. Dean got out of the car and held the door open for me. I noted that John had taught his sons his habits. Dean took my hand and helped me out of the car and then closed the door behind us and walked toward Deacon.

"Dean," Deacon said as he enveloped Dean in a hug. I decided at that moment to like Deacon.

"Are you a member of the clergy?" I asked.

"Are you guys going to introduce me?" he said to Dean.

"Kelsey!" Bobby cried.  
I felt the hug before I had a chance to react to him. I was squeezed tightly.

"I can't believe it," Bobby's hands cupped my face. He frowned after a few moments, "What's changed?"

"She was healing," Sam said.

"Healing?" Bobby frowned, "Surely you hadn't been hurt that badly. John never said…" he trailed off.

"John didn't know," I shook my head, "It's an occupational hazard."

Deacon looked at me oddly, "I'm sorry?"

"Don't worry about it," I smiled at him, "I'm Kelsey. I've been away for a while recovering from an injury. So tell me, how do you come to know this group?"

"I was in the service with John," Deacon confessed.

"In the service?" I rolled my eyes.

It was an act that evoked laughter all around.

"Are you going to cook?" Sam grinned.

Bobby shrugged and scratched his chin, "It's been a while."

I shook my head, "I don't have much time."

Deacon stared at me for a moment as though he was trying to figure out what I was. I thought about what it was that I had to do. I couldn't turn them down at that point and I had promised that I would be around.

"Okay," I surrendered.

"Dean?" Deacon spoke quietly.

"Yep," Dean nodded.

"Dean you shouldn't be driving that car you know," Deacon stared at him.

"It's okay," Bobby said.

"No it's not," Deacon insisted.

"We didn't know where Sammy had gone, so I told Dean to drive the car to look for him," Bobby said.

Deacon scowled, as he appeared rather upset at that piece of information.

"So," I was curious, "What is it that you do Deacon?"

"Oh I work at Green River County Correctional Facility, that's in Arkansas," he said.

"I see," I nodded, "You work in a prison."

Deacon grinned, "Yep, and I hope that these boys never end up there."

"Me too," Bobby agreed.

I laughed, "Come is the kitchen still working? Or is Bobby still storing only beer in the fridge?"

I walked away from them and went inside the house. I didn't need to turn around to know that they were right behind me.

Sam and Dean engaged Deacon in active conversation and it was obvious that the boys were accustomed to him as an old favored uncle. I stayed in the kitchen with Bobby actively staying out of the way but he was taking notes and I kept frowning at him.

"Why are you taking notes?" I finally asked.

"We've been trying to replicate some of things you cooked the last time," Bobby admitted.

I laughed at the thought of that one.

"Where were you?" Bobby said seriously.

I knew it was coming and I had not thought of how I was going to avoid the question. I watched him for a moment. I knew he was genuinely concerned and I made a choice.

"I was injured and I needed to be healed, Bobby," I said.

"I got that part," he reminded me.

"I know," I paused, "I was infected."

"Infected?" Bobby stood still.

"I'm not anymore," I assured him, "But that kind of a thing takes its toll."

"There's something you're not telling," Bobby pressed.

"There's a lot I don't tell," I smiled at him.

"Look darling," he said, "We're in the business of hunting. We see stuff that other people don't know about."

"It's not that simple Bobby," I told him gently.

"It never is," Bobby sighed.

I stared down at my hands for a moment. These hands were human in their shape and size but these hands did not belong to a human.

"It's all right," Bobby interrupted my thoughts.

"Really?" I sincerely doubted that he was telling the truth.

"You're on our side," Bobby nodded, "And the way I figure it, you probably operate just outside the lines."

This was the second time that this man had surprised me with the depth of his perception. We stood and looked at each other and came to an understanding.

"I'm right," Bobby nodded.

"You have no idea how close you are," I smiled.

I continued with my task and then I remembered something that I had meant to ask and then had been distracted.

"What happened to Missouri?" I asked Bobby.

Bobby stopped for a moment. He seemed to be very surprised at the question.

"She's fine," he answered, "She's in Lawrence."

"Lawrence?" I asked.

"Kansas, where John and the boys came from," Bobby said.

I turned to him, "Lawrence Kansas?"

"Uh-huh," Bobby nodded.

"November 2,1983, Lawrence Kansas? That's when their mother was killed?" I demanded.

" Yes. Why?" Bobby was curious.

"I have to go see Missouri," I said.

"After dinner," Bobby placed his hand on my arm.

I looked at him for a moment and I saw the concern behind his eyes. I also saw the concern for the boys as well. They were attached to me in a way that they didn't know nor understand; I had to proceed carefully. I would leave them after dinner.

"Bobby? How is it that the boys don't know her?" I wondered.

"That would be John being his usual stubborn self," Bobby muttered.

I understood completely what John had done. He had managed to build a cocoon of safety around his boys while they were still too young to fend for themselves. They would be relatively safe, however as much as Missouri also represented safety she was in Lawrence, where his wife died. I was deeply perturbed by the whole thing, and I thought back to the deal that was made. It was truly going to bite when it came time to collect and that was not something that I especially looked forward to.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

They enjoyed immensely both dinner and the pie I made for dessert. Deacon was impressed with my cooking skills and the boys were too busy stuffing themselves to utter a single comment. I merely smiled and responded the way a human female would. It was time for me to decide how I was going to leave. I went into the kitchen and pondered as everyone pitched in to clean after dinner ended.

Sam became silent. Dean kept giving him sideways glances that went unnoticed by Deacon and Bobby. I remembered that Sam was upset in the park when I found him. I nudged him gently and he merely smiled at me. His smile was exceedingly sad and he looked to be on the verge of tears. I was deeply concerned by the emotions that he seemed to be keeping at bay.

"Sammy," I leaned forward and whispered. It was not that far to lean for he was nearly my height and I again pondered how tall he would be when he finished growing.

"It's okay," he answered hoarsely.

"No," I touched his head with my forehead, "it's not. Let's go get some air".

I pulled him away from the others and we went to sit on the front porch. It was the best place to go, well in terms of there was really nowhere to go in a junkyard. Bobby seemed to have taken in more junk during the time I slept.

Sam balled his fists tightly and paced on the porch. I sat on the railing and watched him for a few minutes. I gave him space and time to tell me what was really wrong.

"It's not fair!" he slammed his right fist into his left palm.

"It rarely is," I agreed.

"You don't know!" he choked back his sobs, and I could sense the rage that was simmering beneath the surface.

"Then tell me," I gently suggested.

"Do you know what it's like to not have any friends?" he demanded.

"You have friends," I said.

"No," Sam shaking his head in disagreement, "not really. Not anyone my own age".

"Well," I prodded, "you have your brother".

"Dean!" Sam spat, "he's …he's".

"He's what?" I wanted to know what was really going on inside his head.

"He's such a wuss!" Sam declared.

"A what?" I was amused.

"Well, he's like, yes sir to Dad all the time," Sam physically shook with rage, "He lets Dad talk to him like he's nothing".

I raised an eyebrow at this, "Surely you're exaggerating, Sammy".

"No," Sam argued, "You don't know how Dad really treats him. Dean doesn't stand up to him".

"Why do you want Dean to stand up to him?" I asked.

"Because Dad dumps everything on Dean. He's been doing it for a while now. He's gone for days at a time. We're left just about anywhere and he _**drinks**_!" Sam said in a rush.

I waited for him to continue.

"Don't get me wrong," Sam sighed heavily, "I love them both. It's just that they both make me so mad at times".

I nodded that I understood, "You're also mad at me?"

"No," Sam smiled, "I know that you can't stay with us".

He was more astute than I thought he would be, but then again, he had been trained to be a hunter since the moment his father took up this life.

"But you're upset with your Dad?"

"Why can't we be normal?" Sam demanded as the tears spilled down his cheeks.

I sat still for a moment and thought about that question. This was the difficult part, how did I explain this to a child in such pain? I stood and wrapped my arms around him. He buried his head in my chest and sobbed. I closed my eyes and gave him what comfort I could and in the process I felt the depth of hurt within this child. I knew that as he grew older these feelings would deepen and there was no way to remove them.

"Normal is not what you think it is," I whispered.

"Other people have normal lives," Sam cried.

"No one has a normal life," I told him, "But you don't want to be told this".

He said nothing in response to this.

"You feel that you should have what others have," I said, "You want to have your mother".

"No," Sam disagreed, "Well yes, but it's more than that. I know that Mom died when I was a baby. But, other kids' moms die and their dads don't go off hunting supernatural things and raising them all over the place".

"True," I admitted.

"Not to mention the fact that I can't have any friends. The way that we have to lie all the time, and the way that we can't really get close to people who don't have any clue as to what is going on," he continued.

"It's a hard life," I agreed.

He pulled himself away from me and walked to the top of the steps, staring at the open field across from the house.

"It's more than hard," he whispered hoarsely.

I said nothing in response to this statement. I thought of the effect that the lifestyle was having on not only Sam but Dean as well.

"Your father is doing what he thinks is best, Sam," I attempted to placate him.

"This is his **_best_**?" Sam turned to me with eyes that shone with anger.

I sucked my breath in as I was faced with that anger. It was similar to the anger that Elkins showed me the night our friendship ended and I had a fleeting thought that this anger in Sam was going to explode one day and perhaps irrevocably split father from son.

"Sam, you mustn't hate your father," I said.

Sam narrowed his eyes at me and shook his head in disgust, "Whose side are you on?"

I widened my eyes in surprise at the question, "No one's".

His blinked several times in an attempt to hold back his tears, and that gave me a measure of hope.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"I don't pick sides," I explained.

"That makes no sense to me," Sam muttered.

"Of course it doesn't," I smiled at him, "But you see, someone has to remain neutral when two warring factions decide that they're going to fight it out".

"I'm not fighting my dad," Sam argued.

"Not yet," I gave him a knowing look.

Sam remained silent on that point and I knew from his silence that I was right.

Sam moved to the railing and sat on it. He held on to the post and swung one of his legs over it so that he ended up straddling the rail. I perched on the side and waited for him.

"There are times when I hate him," Sam confessed.

"That's perfectly natural," I assured him.

Sam's eyes met mine and he saw that I was not ridiculing him.

"What exactly are you?" he changed the subject.

I thought about that question for a moment, then, I thought of where I needed to be and I sighed.

"That, my darling boy, is a very good question," I replied.

"But you're not going to answer it," Sam acknowledged.

"I can't answer that question," I told him.

"What do you mean you can't?" Sam demanded quietly.

"I mean that I can't tell you the answer to your question," I explained.

"You mean you won't," Sam argued.

"No, I mean that I can't," I asserted.

"The rules," Sam pulled his body straight.

I nodded in assent. He remembered the conversation that I had with John and Bobby in this house about Elkins.

"Are all things bound by rules?" Sam asked.

"Yes," I told him, "All things are bound by rules".

"But these rules are broken," Sam reasoned.

"Yes," I agreed.

"The consequences of breaking the rules are severe, aren't they?" Sam narrowed his eyes.  
I smiled at him. He had inherited his father's charm but in him it was smooth, whereas John's was gruff. "Are you trying to get me to bend the rules Sam?" I teased gently.

Sam's face broke out in a smile and I marveled at him. He was his father's son. Then I saw something else. He was too much like John and in all my experience in observing humans I knew where that often led. When children were too much like their parents the inevitable result was conflict. Sam was going to fight this similarity with every bone in his body until he faced that daunting realization that he was his father's son.

I then thought of John's other son, Dean, who while Sam and I were having this conversation, checked from time to time to make certain that his brother was all right. He heard parts of the conversation but chose to give Sam his privacy. I guessed that Dean would not confront Sam about what I was told, but wait until they were alone to confront him on other things.

"You know something," I said after we were silent for a while.

"You have to leave," Sam said miserably.

"Well yes, that too," I grinned at him.

Sam gave a bark of laughter and stopped as though his laughter was something completely unexpected to him.

"I'll miss you," he said quite seriously.

"Of course you will," my eyes danced with mischief, "However, I was going to say that there are three people in your family Sam".

He looked at me quizzically, "What do you mean?"

"I mean you have your brother Dean," I said pointedly.

"What about Dean?" Sam shrugged.

"He loves the both of you very much," I said.

Sam looked at me for a moment as though he was prepared to argue with me and then everything deflated in him.

"Why were you crying in the park Sam?" I asked.

"I-I" he stopped.

"It's okay," I said.

"Is it?" he stared at me with those puppy dog eyes.

"Yes," I nodded, "I'll be here when you need me Sam. Remember that".

"Okay," he smiled at me.

I got off the railing and walked to the doorway where Dean stood with an expression that was a mixture of confusion and fear. I ruffled his hair and he smiled at me.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

I decided that I could spend no more time there at Bobby's, although I felt guilty about leaving Sam in the state he was in, I knew that he would be perfectly fine with his brother paying him attention. Besides, I rationalized, Sam needed to tell his brother what he was feeling. That is what I kept repeating because I needed desperately to believe that I was not abandoning a child in need. Things were so much easier when I stayed in Hell and occasionally visited the surface. Now if I could only get myself to not get attached, however even I knew that was impossible.

I made my way quickly to Lawrence, Kansas. I had not been there in years, however, I had no idea that that night was the same night the Winchesters had endured their tragedy. I walked calmly to the house where Missouri lived. I had not been there in ten years and it was under unusual circumstances that I had been called to that house. Missouri did not live there ten years before and I should have recognized that the ability was handed down from her great – grandmother to her. I never asked her last name, but I should have known Missouri must have been related to Memphis. Memphis had that indefinable quality that made her fascinating and unnerving at the same time and I had always chalked it up to the whole psychic gift. Memphis had asked for me to come to her when she was dying, and I had fulfilled that promise. I almost didn't that night for I had sensed a dark presence in Lawrence that very night. I had confronted the spawn that evening and now that I had a chance to think about it, it must have been the same one that I fought in the church. I closed my eyes briefly as I thought of my limitations.

I didn't knock on the door for I knew it would be opened as soon as Missouri was certain that it was safe. The door swung open and a beaming Missouri greeted me.

"Well if it isn't Kelsey," she spoke softly.

"I should have recognized Memphis' great – granddaughter," I grinned in return.

"You don't need an invitation do you?" Missouri asked.

"No," I answered, "it just would be nice if you extended one."

She wrapped her arms around me in a gesture that was surprising, but then these humans were mystifying to me.

"Bobby told me about Elkins," Missouri nodded.

I laughed, of course, Bobby would have called her and told her I was coming to see her.

"So, the telephone is certainly fulfilling its role," I commented.

Missouri smiled at me, "Well come on in child".

I raised an eyebrow at that. She called me a child and I found that amusing for that was how I had appeared to Memphis.

"What brings you here?" Missouri asked.

"Can't you guess?" I asked in return.

Missouri frowned at me, "Now you know that I can't read your mind".

"I never said that you could," I told her, "I simply asked if you couldn't guess".

"The demon," Missouri breathed.

I nodded.

"You didn't fight it that night did you?" Missouri looked concerned.

"Yes," I told her for it made no sense not being upfront about that, I needed her to tell me what she knew.

"You want me to tell you what I sensed," Missouri sat in her chair.

I perched on the sofa as a human would. It was in my interest to let Missouri respond to me the way that she would respond to a human.

"I walked that house you know," Missouri nodded, "it was evil. I still shudder when I think of what it was. John was devastated to know that it was…" she trailed off.

"How come you're not in the boys' lives?" I asked.

"John isn't about to bring them back here. I don't blame him and besides it's for the best to try and raise them as normally as possible," she explained.

I stared at her for a moment, "Missouri, John Winchester is not raising those boys normally."

She looked at me with large baleful eyes. I quelled everything that was threatening to rise up in me when I saw that she, like me, was ready to take a shovel to John.

"You've wanted to hit him too?" Missouri smiled.

"John Winchester seems to bring out violence in people," I surmised.

Missouri laughed at that, "Oh, I think one of these days Bobby might just shoot him. I know that I threatened him with a spoon the last time I saw him."

I smiled, "Well I've told him that he's lucky that I haven't been able to get hold of a shovel."

"Oh," Missouri's eyes danced, "first to beat him with it and then bury him after. Well a girl who plans is always a good thing."

I laughed at that. I gazed at Missouri for a moment and realized that I missed Memphis very much.  
"My gram," Missouri began.

"Is fine," I nodded, "she's where she's supposed to be."

"You can know that can you?" Missouri speculated, "But of course you can. You're different from the others."

I made no answer for I realized that it wasn't necessary for me to offer one.

Missouri sighed heavily then got to her feet. She was disturbed by something and I waited for her to speak.

"You know, my gram called you a different name. Hell you even look different than that drawing she made of you," Missouri gazed out the window.

I sat up straighter in the chair. Memphis made a drawing of me? I must confess to a measure of curiosity.

"You can't interfere can you?" she said after a while.

"No," I answered.

"You can't undo death," Missouri continued.

I frowned slightly at that comment, "Is there something that's bothering you, Missouri?"

"A Crossroads pact is a dangerous thing," she said.

I stood at that point, "You made a pact?"

"No," she turned to me with tears in her eyes, "I'm not the one to be worried about."

Missouri wiped her eyes and then she frowned at me for a moment, "What are you doing up child?"

My mouth fell open. She had inherited the 'gift' from Memphis as well as making predictions and having no knowledge of what she said after.

"You were talking about Crossroads pacts," I told her.

"Why was I talking about that?" it was obvious that she was confused.

"It's okay," I assured her, "You are simply experiencing your gram's gift."

Missouri nodded, "But the thing is that this has never happened before."

I was surprised by her statement, "Surely your gram told you this happened to her."

"She said only around you," Missouri shrugged.

That was not something that I had ever expected however it would explain the reason that neither of them recalled what they had foreseen. These things had been known to happen and I should have realized this.

"You're not going to tell me what is really happening are you?" Missouri nodded.

"I don't know," I answered truthfully.

"How can you not?" Missouri demanded.

"Because it's not the way things work," I smiled sadly at her.

Missouri said nothing to this, but she was not entirely with me at that point, "Something bad is happening."

"It always is," I replied

"Don't be flip with me!" Missouri railed.

I raised an eyebrow at her and she backed down. I studied her closely she was barely holding herself together.

"I'll leave," I walked to the door.

"There's something wrong," Missouri restated.

I nodded and then I turned back to her. I placed my hands on her face and concentrated for a moment. Missouri pulled away from me and then she shook her head as though to clear her mind.

"What's the matter with me?" she muttered.

"Don't worry about it," I smiled, "It's an occupational hazard. I think you should do something else for a while."

Missouri frowned at me, "You mean I'm getting overwhelmed?"

"Yes," I nodded, "It happened to your gram once."

"How did she get over it?" Missouri asked.

"Um…she met a man and married him," I grinned at her.

Missouri glared at me for a moment, and then she erupted in laughter. She was still laughing when I left the house.

I walked across the town and stopped in an open field. I knew that he was there. I waited for him to catch up.

"You are very good," Michael said.

"Or you're careless," I retorted.

Michael said nothing in response to that. I continued walking.

"You need to listen to something, Denri," Michael said quietly.

"What?" I asked.

"Someone who needs you right now," Michael continued.

I stopped and faced him. I studied Michael as he appeared to me. This was unusual for him to be sending me someplace. He proffered his hand and I took it. We traversed the distance quickly and then Michael released me.

I scanned the area and then I heard it. It was a cry that sounded from around the corner of the road. I walked away from Michael and saw a Reaper standing there waiting. I nodded to the Reaper.

"Are you going to claim the hunter?" the Reaper asked.

I stopped and listened to the cry; it was John. I rushed forward and found John in the middle of the road cradling the body of a hunter who was struggling for his last breaths. My eyes widened as I recognized the hunter. It was Bill Harvelle. I placed my hand on John's shoulders and he stared at me unseeing for a moment, then he looked down at Bill.

"Help me," John cried.

I stared at Bill for a moment and then I turned my attention to the Reaper who was waiting.

"It's too late John," I said as I tried to pull him away from Bill.

"No," John shook his head, "I refuse to accept that!"

"John!" I called to him, "it's too late."

"No!" he screamed at me.

I sat on the ground next him and watched the Reaper waiting to take Bill away.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

John held on to Bill tightly. He was reluctant to let him go and I knew that he would have to do just that. The Reaper was waiting for Bill's soul to leave his body.

"Kelsey, you have to save him!" John pleaded with me.

"It's too late John," I said gently.

"No!" John shouted.

"I can't interfere with this, John," I said to him.

"You have the power!" John was frantic.

I saw the Reaper move forward and touch the top of Bill's head, then his soul followed and Bill stopped breathing.

"No!" John's scream became a wail.

The Reaper looked at me for a moment as though undecided. I left John and walked to him.

"This one must go," he said.

"Take him," I nodded.

"Where?" Bill asked suddenly.

"It's okay, Bill," I said to him, "you're going to go…" I trailed off.

The Reaper turned and saw Michael standing there waiting. Michael came forward and took Bill with him.

"This is unusual," the Reaper muttered.

"This is special circumstance," Michael said.

The Reaper nodded and melted into the air. Michael looked at me.

"You wanted me here to deal with the Reaper?" I asked.

"No," Michael nodded at John, "you're here to deal with him."

"What were they hunting?" I asked.  
"Something that they were ill – prepared for," Michael answered.

I stared at Michael for a moment. There was something he wasn't telling me and I thought back to Missouri's statement about 'something bad happening out there'. I merely returned to John and placed my hand back on his shoulder.

"John," I whispered, "Come, we have to leave now."

"No," John answered quietly.

The tone in his voice was unmistakable and I could feel the reverberation of anger through him. Grief made people do strange and awful things.

"Where were you?" John demanded.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Why weren't you answering my calls?" John said.

I thought for a moment, "John I had been injured and I was healing all this time."

"You were gone for two years," John accused.

"You were there when I was hurt," I said.

"You weren't there when I called," John repeated.

I was dumbstruck. John was blaming me for this? There was a thing called free will and humans were responsible for their actions. I found myself wishing that I had not been brought here.

"You bring him back!" John screamed at me. He released Bill from his arms and stood glaring at me.  
I stood in response and faced him, "I told you that I wasn't able to interfere in the natural order of things, John," I said through gritted teeth.

"You also said you'd come when we needed you!" John's voice rose in volume.

"I said needed not wanted," I argued.

"You save him!" John roared.

"I'm not someone for you to control or command, John Winchester," my voice dropped in volume and became ominous, however, John was too far-gone to care at this point.

"Why won't you save him?" he cried.

"He's gone John. His soul's already crossed over," I said.

"What!" John grabbed my arms.

"John, I don't want to hurt you, but I'll break you in half if you don't let go of me," I warned.

He released me, "I want him back!"

"I can't bring him back, John. The Reaper was waiting for him."

"What do you mean the Reaper?" John demanded.

"It was time for him to go John," I said.  
"No," John stepped away from me, "it should come back. I should go in his place."

"What?" I was stunned.

"Bill had a wife and a little girl. They shouldn't lose him," John said.

"And your boys should be orphans?" my palms itched as I resisted the urge to slap him silly.

"What's your problem?" John rounded on me.

"My problem?" I repeated, "I want to kick your ass from here to Tulsa. You are a stubborn son of a bitch, John Winchester!"

I stopped as I saw that his hands were clamped over his ears. He fell to his knees as the pain seared through his head. I grabbed him and stopped the damage that I had caused.

"You're healing me," John accused.

"I hurt you," I told him.

He grabbed my hands and stared in my eyes, "It's my fault. I killed him."

I got one of my hands free of John's and placed it on his face, "You didn't kill him, John."

"Yes, I did," John insisted.

"Did you force him to come to this place?" I asked.

"No," John admitted, "But I didn't have his back."

"What were you hunting?" I demanded.

"Some kind of demon," John confessed.

I nearly broke his jaw at that point. He had taken on a demon. I looked around at where we were. How did a human find this place? I closed my eyes as I realized that those damned demons were careless when they punched through. A hunter must have seen the signs and John Winchester with his stubborn self decided to confront it and… I stopped for a moment.  
"You were hoping to find out what killed Mary?" I accused.

John didn't respond.

"John, tell me that you didn't risk your life to chase after the thing that took your wife's life?" I was livid.

"I won't tell you that." John said, then, he looked at me with sad and teary eyes, "Please Kelsey…"

"It's done John," I said gently, "You have to let go now."

John then wrapped his arms around my waist and sobbed. This was the second Winchester man I had held as he cried. However, whereas I could give Sammy some measure of comfort, I couldn't do the same for his father. John tightened his grip and I kept still until his cries subsided.

He released me and then he picked up the body of Bill Harvelle. I followed John back to his truck. He placed Bill's body under a tarp and got into the truck. John looked at me for a moment.  
"You can come, but when I go in there, do what you do and make sure they don't see you," John said.

I nodded my assent. This was going to be a very difficult thing for him to do. He was going to tell a wife that her husband was never coming home to her again.

We drove in silence. As the miles passed John became more cold and hollow than I had ever seen him. It chilled me to see the transformation. I realized that I had better return with him to Bobby to get the boys. They were going to be ill – equipped to deal with him like this. We finally pulled up at a roadside bar and grill of some kind. John nodded to me and I made myself less visible. We got out of the truck and I followed John inside.

It was an 'out of the way' place and I had recognized the type from my years of wandering the planet. It was the sort of place where hunters hung out. I saw a young woman behind the bar. She glanced up when she saw John and then the smile died on her face. She rushed out from behind the bar and pummeled John's chest with her fists. He wrapped his arms around her and she pushed him away.

"No! No!" she screamed repeatedly.

"Ellen, I'm sorry," John whispered.

"No! You said that you'd bring him back!" Ellen's voice became shrill. The patrons of the bar turned their attention to the scene they were creating.  
"I'm sorry," John repeated.

"Where is he?" Ellen demanded.  
"Outside in my truck," John told her.

"I hate you!" she shouted at him and then she rushed past him.

John wobbled a bit and then straightened his back and followed Ellen outside.

Ellen by this time was in the back of the truck, clutching her husband's lifeless body and weeping. She continued weeping until her cries became screams. John picked her up out of the back of the truck and endured the blows that she rained on him.

"You killed him!" Ellen cried.

"Yes," John admitted.

"You bastard! I never want to see you again!" she railed at him.

John nodded. He placed her inside the bar and removed Bill's body from the truck. He carried the body into the bar and placed it on the pool table. The other hunters in the bar said nothing as one of them took charge of the still screaming Ellen. A younger male came up to John and placed his hand on his shoulder.  
"These things happen," he said quietly.

John looked at him for a moment and then said nothing.

"You can't let this destroy you," he repeated.

"Who are you?" John hissed.

"My name is Caleb," he answered, "and I'm telling you that you can't let this destroy you."

"You weren't there," John said.

"It doesn't matter," Caleb shook his head, "Look, go home. I'll take care of this. Give me a number to reach you at."

John seemed to think for a moment, then he handed him a piece of paper with a number scribbled on it. John then took one last look at Ellen and walked out of the bar and into the truck and turned in the direction of his sons and I stayed with him the entire journey.

For that was just what he expected and maybe hoped.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

We drove most of the night on the return trip to Bobby's. John at one point pulled over to the side of the road and got out of the truck. I stayed where I was and gave him some time to continue to pull himself together. John returned to the truck however he stood outside the passenger door. He opened it and indicated to me via a head gesture that I should drive. I slid behind the wheel and continued driving the rest of the way to Bobby's. It occurred to me to ask him how he figured that I could operate a vehicle, but he was too physically and emotionally exhausted for me to press him any further.

It was an hour after sunrise when we arrived at the junkyard. I parked the truck and got out of it. I stopped and watched John in the truck, he hadn't moved nor had he said a word about anything since we left that roadside bar. I was about to return to the truck when I heard the front door open and I spun and saw Sam racing out of the house.

"Kelsey!" Sam cried and nearly knocked me over with his hug. I returned it and saw that Dean had followed him out of the house. However Dean's face fell when he saw his father. I sensed the joy at seeing his father being replaced by a wall. Dean nodded to me and then went to truck and pulled John out of it. I was surprised by Dean's strength, and then I saw it clearly; Dean had been taking care of Sam and John. I needed to have a stern conversation with John, but it could not be at that moment, however I could wait.

"Is Dad all right?" Sam asked me.

"He'll be all right Sammy," I told him.

Dean looked at me with an odd expression in his eyes. I shook my head to indicate that I would tell him later.

Sam stared at me for a moment, "He's going to disappear into a bottle for a bit."

I kissed the top of his head, "Don't worry about it. Something really hard just happened. But your dad's strong. So how about some breakfast?"

Sam's face broke out in a grin and he ran inside ahead of us. John walked listlessly past me and then I felt a hand on my arm. I turned and faced Dean.

"What happened?" he asked quietly.

"A hunt went wrong, and the person he was with died," I explained.

"Great," Dean muttered, "now he's going to be drunk for a while."

My head spun at that for I heard the resigned tone in Dean's voice. This was something that was all too familiar to both boys. I fought the urge to find a shovel and hit John. I also knew that there was no way that I could leave them now. But I had to find a way to get back to Hell and find out what the Fallen and its spawn had planned. I didn't like the feeling of foreboding I was getting. I didn't trust them.

Dean took a deep breath to steady himself and then he walked toward the house. He stopped and turned back to me.  
"Are you staying?" he asked in a quiet tone that belied his years.

I studied him carefully. There was something behind his eyes; it was a sadness that he tried hard to mask.

"Apparently," I answered.

I followed him inside.

John simply sat in a chair and stared at the wall. I noticed that both Bobby and Deacon said nothing but were seated across from him. I felt a tug on my arm and Dean indicated that I should continue to follow him. I went to the room where Sam was seated on the bed with an open bag beside him. I frowned at this.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"We don't know," Dean answered.

"I missed something?" I was confused.

"We're leaving in a few minutes," Dean told me.

I doubted the sense of that action. It was safer and better for the boys to remain at Bobby's until John pulled himself together.

"Come on Sammy, let's get packing," Dean ordered.

Sam shot him a withering look. Dean chose to ignore it and instead began placing his things in the large duffel on his bed.

Sam stood and began following his brother in terms of packing. Both boys were silent as they quickly gathered everything that was scattered around the room. I realized that they had a great deal of practice at this. There was a loud shout in the next room and we quickly went to it.

John stood in the center of the room while Deacon remained seated. Bobby, however, was facing the door. I felt my frown deepen.

"What is the matter with you?" I demanded.

Bobby turned to me with tear-rimmed eyes, "You couldn't begin to understand Kelsey."

I took a deep breath, "Of course I wouldn't understand."

Deacon's head snapped up at the tone in my voice. I smiled at him and he raised an eyebrow at me.

"I didn't mean it…" Bobby trailed off.

"I understand," I said tightly, "John can inspire anyone to violence."

John turned to me, "If you expect to come with us," he warned.

"If?" I challenged.

Dean chuckled slightly behind me but quickly covered it with a slight cough.

"Look, it's too dangerous to stay here," John argued.

"Oh?" Bobby shot back, "And who's friggin' fault is that?"

"Women and children are present eh, Bobby?" Deacon spoke up in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"What women and children?" Dean, Sam and I said at the same time.

Deacon smiled briefly at that, "John, it makes no sense to take them and go."

"No," John was adamant, "There will be people coming and I don't want…"

"What?" Bobby shouted at John.

"Nothing," John answered.

Sam pulled on the back of my shirt and I turned to him.

"Dad," Dean began, "surely we're safe here with Bobby?"

"No," John said glumly, "we're not."

"This is a damn fool thing to do John," Bobby was having a hard time keeping his anger under control.

"But Dad," Dean continued.

"Damn it Dean!" John raised his voice.

"John," I warned.

John backed down and turned his back to his older son.

"I'll put the things in the car sir," Dean said.

"See! Told you," Sam whispered.

I was exasperated at that point. I pushed Sam gently forward and he walked to the room and placed his bag over his shoulder.

Dean merely picked up his things and stalked out of the room, through the house and to the car. Sam and I were moving with him. Sam struggled to match his brother's pace. There was a great deal of anger inside of Dean as well. Dean had the trunk open and waited for Sam to place his bag in it. Dean then handed me the keys.

"What?" I was confused.

"It's safer if you drive," Dean said quietly as he pulled open the driver's door.

I got in the car and he along with Sam followed suit. We sat there waiting for John to come out of the house. He walked directly to his truck and I drove behind him as he made his way down the Interstate.

We drove in silence. Dean stared out the window while Sam settled in the backseat.

"Maybe this is for the best," I suggested.

"How?" Sam asked.

"Maybe we'll go to Pastor Jim," I offered.

"Not likely," Dean answered.

"Why?" I was curious to know their thoughts.

"Because he's going to hide for a while," Sam spoke grimly.

"Hide?" I kept my attention on where John was headed.

"Yep," Dean snorted, "He's going to find a crappy motel and leave us there."

"We'll have Kelsey with us," Sam piped up.

"Until she leaves," Dean grumbled.

"I won't go anywhere for a bit," I said.

"We've delayed you long enough," Dean reasoned.

"Yes," I agreed, "But the three of you need me right now."

"So you'll stay?" Sam's face lit up.

"Sure," I saw that Dean was also relieved.

We drove for about two hours and crossed the State lines before John decided to pull into a motel parking lot. I parked the car behind him. Dean got out of the car and joined his father inside the office. I waited with Sam.

"Kelsey," Sam leaned forward.

"Uh huh?" I responded.

"What really happened to Dad?" Sam's voice was low and serious.

I turned to him and smiled, "Things went wrong. I don't know exactly. I wasn't there."

"But the other person died," Sam said.

"Yes, the other man died. It happens. More often than I like to think about," I confessed.

Sam sat back in the seat.

I saw Dean walking back to the car. He pulled the door open and pointed to the back of the motel.

"It's room 516," Dean said succinctly.

I started the car and drove around to where the room was. We got out of the car and I frowned.

"Dean," I asked him, "Where is your father?"

Dean looked around as well, "I dunno, he was behind me."

Sam stood next to his brother and then we saw the truck pull into the space next to us. John got out of the truck and grimaced.

"John Winchester!" a voice called.

I spun in the direction of the voice and saw the man who had introduced himself as Caleb.

John frowned as he stared at the three of us.

"Kelsey, get the boys inside the room and lock the door," he ordered.

"John," I began.

"Damn it Kelsey!" John growled at me, "Will you just be a person and do what I ask."

I pulled Sam with me and headed for the door. Dean stood staring at his father.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Sam tugged at my arm. I stopped and saw that Dean had not moved. John turned to his son.  
"Dean, I gave an order and I expect it to be followed," John lowered his voice.

"If there's trouble you're going to need help," Dean returned evenly.

Sam took a step forward and I grabbed him.

"Dean, you get in that room with Kelsey and your brother," John repeated.

"No," Dean clenched his jaw. I recognized this as an act of defiance.

"Let me go Kelsey," Sam attempted wriggle out of my grasp.

"You're not going anywhere," I tightened my grip.

"Dean," John stepped forward, his fist was clenched.

"You going to hit me Dad?" Dean asked calmly.

Sam stopped struggling and we both watched with open mouths.

John narrowed his eyes and then grabbed Dean and propelled him toward us. Dean moved with the momentum and recovered quickly.

Caleb came closer. He seemed to be cautiously surveying the scene before him.

"Sorry John," Caleb said, "Didn't mean to freak out your family."

John turned to him, "No worries."

Caleb nodded to the boys and me, "Well, that's a mighty fine looking family you got John."

John flashed a smile and moved to stand between Caleb and us. "What brings you here?"

"Things can get pretty rough hunting," Caleb said to John, however his eyes were on us.

"Is there a problem?" John asked.

"No," Caleb replied, "you know, she just doesn't look old enough to have a boy that age," he pointed to Dean.

"She's one of those women who looks nothing near her age," John smiled.

The surprising thing was that he was quite correct. Dean went back to the car and John tensed.  
"Don't worry Dad," Dean said, "we'll stow the gear and then go with _Mom_ to grab something to eat."

At that point I was torn between laughing at Dean and hitting him. He had his father's charm as well.

"You know I don't mean to interrupt," Caleb said.

"It's all right," Dean continued smoothly, "We're used to just being with our _Mom_."

It was worth it to see how uncomfortable John appeared.

Dean strode past both Sam and me into the motel room and then we three got into the car and drove out of the motel parking lot. Dean was back behind the wheel, however, I said nothing. Sam sat in the back staring out of the window.

"I'm sorry about that Kelsey," Dean said through tight lips.

"It's okay," I smiled.

"I'm going to pay for that later," Dean told me.

"I thought it was brilliant," Sam spoke.

"Yes, you would," Dean smirked.

"Don't worry about it," I told him.

"Dad might lay into him," Sam voiced his fears.

"He won't," I assured him.

"How can you be so sure?" Sam asked.

"Because your father owes me," I smiled, "And this is just a down payment."

Both boys laughed and I felt a little bit better.

We found a greasy diner, similar to the one where I used to be a short order cook. The boys settled in and ordered food. I wondered what they would use for money.

"Dean," I said quietly.

"Don't worry," Dean smiled at me, "I have money."

I was pleased for it wasn't as though I had local currency with me. Which reminded me that I should probably find a way to acquire some. In fact it was working jobs that tended to get me into a lot of trouble.

"What can you do?" Sam asked, "I mean aside from cook and hunt."

"I was a dance teacher once," I said.

"Oh yeah?" Dean's eyes lit up with mischief.

"Were your students any good?" Sam asked.

"I had a brilliant girl once," I sighed, "Unfortunately she didn't do that well in terms of her choices. It happens."

"What happened?" Sam sounded curious.

"Well," I said quietly, "She could have had anything she wanted, but her mother used her to get revenge. When she realized that she was inconsolable and never danced again."

Sam's eyes widened at that. He glanced at Dean for a moment and then stared back at his hands.

The waitress arrived with our food and all discussion was cut short. I followed Bobby's advice and ate when the boys ate. It made them forget what I truly was or at least doubt it. Which was fine with me for they didn't need to be burdened with any more information about beings that weren't human.

"You know," Sam said between bites, "you're a really interesting person."

"Oh?" I was curious.

"Yep," Sam nodded, "I don't know of anyone who could…"

"You may be surprised one day Sam," I smiled at him.

Dean paid scant attention to us. His attention however was directed at the waitress. I crooked an eyebrow at him as I saw her blush at his attentions. I rolled my eyes in exasperation.

"Dean," I lowered my voice, "Aren't you a little young to be taking that on?"

"I'm not doing anything," Dean said innocently.

"Dean you're 14 years old," I reminded him.

"You think I should wait?" Dean grinned.

"I think you should wait," I agreed.

"How long?" Dean prompted.

I heaved a sigh. He was going to be difficult.

"Well?" Dean challenged.

"When you're 25 would be good," I said.

Dean threw his head back and laughed.

"No?" I asked.

"No," he said.  
"Well when do you suggest?" I dared him.

"Now," he smiled.

"No, 22 then," I bargained.

"15," he countered.

"21," I matched his offer.

"15 ½," he continued.

"21 ½," I said.

"16," Dean announced.

"20," I said.

"16 ½," his eyes danced.

"18," I declared.

"Naw, 16," Dean's grin widened.

Sam had stopped eating and was wearing a grin from ear to ear.

"16 is a little young Dean," I pleaded.

"18 is the age that most people go to college," Dean reasoned.

"Fine, 18," I nodded firmly.

Dean smiled at me, "I might not make it."

I fixed him with my most serious stare, "Dean Winchester."

At that point Sam couldn't take it any longer and began to howl with laughter. Dean smiled at his brother's mirth and I laughed at them both. The food was forgotten as both boys shared a light moment.

"But you forgot the most important part," Sam said as he wiped the tears from his eyes.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, you forgot to tell Dean about protection," Sam's grin split his face.

Dean's eyes widened and he grabbed his brother, "Sammy!"

"Well, she didn't mention it," Sam reasoned, "I don't think she wants little Deans running around."

Dean continued to poke Sam and I realized that they had had this kind of conversation before.

"Your father has spoken to you about this?" I wondered.

Dean straightened up and looked at me directly, "Dad has made it painfully clear how we are both to conduct ourselves."

Sam's head bobbed in agreement.

I took a sip of my drink to forestall having to comment.

Both Sam and Dean again erupted in laughter.

"Well," John's voice sounded, "it's good to see my boys laughing."

Sam and Dean sat up straight in their seats as John sat next to me.

"Is everything okay?" Dean asked.

"Yes," John was succinct.

"So everything is fine with Caleb?" I asked.

"In a manner of speaking," John evaded.

My eyes went in the direction of the door and saw Caleb standing there.

"John," I was concerned.

"It'll be fine," John told me, "We're going to need help."

"Who's we?" Dean asked.

"Us," John stated, "Kelsey is going to leave us."

"I am?" I must confess that John was beginning to tire me with his orders.

"Yes," John stared directly at me, "I need some information."  
"I'm not the yellow pages," I retorted.

"Maybe," John shrugged, "However you are going to want to do this."  
"Oh?" I was faintly amused.

"Yes," John assured me.

"What is it that you expect me to do?" I asked.

"I need you to get in touch with Richard," John said.

I stared at him in shock. He wanted Richard. I was thrown for a moment.

"But wouldn't Bobby…" I trailed off.

"He doesn't know," John said, "But we figure that you do."

I stared at Sam and Dean for a moment. I sighed, "All right, just don't kill him."

"We won't," Sam answered. John remained silent.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

I sat there across from them and said nothing more to John. He merely took the food from my plate and began eating. Caleb joined us. I moved around the table until I was seated next to Sam. Caleb stared at us carefully.

"Your family seems nice, John," Caleb said.

"Well they can be at times," John smiled at him.

We said nothing. I was curious as to why John had brought Caleb to the diner.

"Dean," John said casually, "Why don't you guys head back. I'll take care of the bill."

Dean studied his father for a moment, then with a curt nod of his head he rose and Sam and I followed.

We were almost at the car when we heard John calling. I turned and waited for John but neither Sam nor Dean did.

"Kelsey," John grabbed my arm, "Make sure that they go nowhere until I get back."

"They would have been safer with Bobby," I gritted.

"Perhaps," John shrugged, "Perhaps not."

He released my arm and strode back into the diner. I watched until he disappeared, then, I walked back to the car. Dean held the driver's door open. I got in and he walked around to the passenger side.  
"You need to release that anger Dean," I said.

"So do you," he returned.

"I'm not angry," I said.

Sam leaned forward, "Yeah right."

"You children need to have more respect," I muttered.

"Talking to the wind," Sam answered, "talking to the wind."

"No," I countered, "I can make the wind listen."

Both Sam and Dean grinned at me. I started the engine and headed back to the motel.

We got inside the room and the phone started ringing. I frowned at it for a moment, then, I moved to answer it. Dean stopped me.  
"It's a rule," he said, "we don't answer the phone."

The ringing stopped, then, it resumed after half a minute. Dean picked up the receiver.

"Yes," he said.

Sam threw himself into a chair and I looked around this motel room. It was another of those family type deals with a kitchenette and bedrooms. I sat next to Sam as we waited for Dean to finish the call.

"Sammy," Dean spoke.

"What?" Sam answered.

"We're to do the usual," Dean stated.

"So what else is new?" Sam shrugged.

I frowned at the both of them. However neither seemed to be in the mood to explain.

I stayed with them for the rest of the day until it turned to night. The boys glumly ate some dinner and then retired to bed. I kept watch and silently raged at John for doing this to them. How many times had he left them alone like this? He was concerned about the danger, and yet he left them alone. It was three in the morning before the door opened. John staggered in reeking of whiskey. He stopped and stared at me for a moment.

"You're still here," he slurred.

"Apparently," I answered.

"Thought I told you to go find Rick," he continued.

"What about the boys?" I asked.

"They're fine," John stumbled into the nearest chair.

He was drunk and I knew that fighting with him was going to be an exercise in futility. Therefore I did the only thing that was possible for me. I grabbed his face and blew on it rendering him unconscious. I picked him up and tossed him onto the bed. I then walked into the room where the boys slept. I perched on the window and watched over them while they slept.

Sam woke with a start. His breath was coming fast. I touched him gently and he stared at me with terror filled eyes. I whispered softly in his ear calming him and he returned to sleep. I checked Dean, but he was soundly asleep. I went back to the window and stayed there until dawn.

Dean woke first and sat up in his bed stunned to see me seated watching them.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"No," I replied.

"Then why are you?" Dean waved his arm.

"Avoiding your father," I explained.

"He's drunk," it was a statement.

"Seems to be," I stared out the window for a moment, "Want breakfast?"

I walked out of the room at that point. I heard Dean rousting Sam. I stopped when I saw John standing in the middle of the kitchenette drinking coffee. I was certain that he would have been out for a lot longer than a couple of hours.

"What did you do to me?" John asked.

His tone was unusually mild which immediately made me suspicious.

"Nothing much," I replied.

"That's a neat trick," John mused.

"So is walking in drunk at 3 in the morning," I returned evenly.

John crooked an eyebrow at me and smiled ruefully. "You have to cut me a little slack Kelsey," he said.

"You have two sons. Sons you took from Bobby's house because you said that they needed to be kept safe," I hissed at him.

"And I believe I told you to go find Rick," John placed the coffee mug on the counter.

"You don't order me around, John Winchester," I told him.

He stared at me for a moment, as though assessing how far he could push me.

"I need you to find Rick," John said.

"You are out to get your damn self killed, John," I warned.

"There's a shovel in the trunk," Dean said from behind me.

John started at the words that came out of his son's mouth. He smiled nervously.

"Dean," John fixed him with his stare, "I don't think that it's a good idea to put ideas in her head."

"Maybe it's a good idea Dad," Dean smiled dangerously at his father.

"I'm hung over Dean," John said, "Now isn't a good time to have an argument.

I felt a tug on my arm and I turned and saw Sam was awake. He pulled me from between Dean and John.

"It's safer here," he whispered.

"Safer?" I asked.

"Yes," Sam nodded.

"It's okay Sammy," Dean said to him, "It's too early to get into it with him. Besides Kelsey said something about breakfast."

Sam looked relieved at that statement and what was even more interesting, was, so did John. It made me wonder what would have happened if I had not been there.

I got ready to leave as soon as breakfast was done. I walked to the door and saw the sadness on Sam's face.  
"Don't worry, I'll be in touch," I assured him.

"Of course you will," John said. Then he reached into his bag and handed me a cell phone. I took it from him and frowned at it.

"What?" I was confused.

"So that we can reach you," John said.

I was even more confused. How was he going to reach me with a cell phone? I smiled at him.  
"Of course John," I said, "By the way, how do you turn it off?"

John laughed at that, "I'm not going to tell you how to do that."

Sam and Dean laughed too.

"That means I get to call you," Sam smiled.

"When she's in range son," John said.

"Okay," Sam thought for a moment, "Make sure that you're in range."

I chuckled at that and then left them.

I had been delayed getting back to Hell. I knew that I had to find Richard, however, I needed to go down into Hell and ensure that at least my newsletter was intact. Hell, I must confess is a place that is filled with bureaucracy. In fact there is a saying that Hell invented bureaucracy. I would venture to say that those individuals were correct. I dared not stay too long, for Hell has a way of consuming all one's attention. I had to find Richard and not because John Winchester wanted me to do so, but because I had my own concerns for him.

It took me six months to track down Richard. He had certainly spent his time covering his tracks well. During that time I made certain to 'check in' with Sam. I was particularly concerned about his nightmares. However, I didn't spend longer than a day with them. I finally tracked Richard to the outskirts of Anchorage, which is the last place I would have thought to look for him.

I walked the dirt track that led to the house. It was a simple dwelling, but I wondered what could have possibly attracted Richard to this distant place. Richard stood on the front porch and waved at me.  
"Denri," he called.

"Richard," I replied, "Why are you here?"

He laughed at that, "Come on, it's not that bad."

I reached the front porch and sat on the steps. It was an impressive view of the bay and the mountains. It was restful.

"The scenery is good," I agreed, "But what are you doing here?"

"It's the last refuge on Earth," Richard declared.

"What's next?" I asked him, "Me having navigate in the middle of a blizzard across Antarctica to find you?"

"You know Denri," Richard observed, "You're being as over – dramatic as these humans."

"I heard a saying once when I visited one of the islands a while back," I returned.

"Oh?" Richard looked amusedly at me.

"Yes," I nodded, "they said, it was a case of 'pot cussing kettle'."

"I'm not human Denri," Richard said.

I stared at him in shock for a moment, "What?"

"No," Richard denied, "I decided not to follow in that line."

"What?" I was stunned.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

I sat on the steps completely dumfounded. Richard had not chosen to take on human form? I was now completely confused, and this was not especially hard considering I had been juggling the Winchesters and Hell for the last six months. I debated between standing and remaining seated. Richard watched me with an amused expression on his face.

"You've been busy," he commented.

"Oh yes," I agreed.

"So why are you here?" he turned my question to me.

"Apparently, both Bobby and John are concerned about you," I smiled at him.

Richard sighed. He heaved himself up and pulled me with him.

"John Winchester is the most stubborn human I have ever met," Richard spat.

"Yes, he does have that affect on people," I concurred.

"I don't agree with what he's doing with those boys," Richard stated baldly.

I studied Richard for a moment. I frowned. It wasn't like Richard to put a great deal of distance between himself and a human he had decided to take under his 'wing'.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I realized that Bobby was going to help him," Richard shrugged as he walked into the house.

I followed him and took note of the comfortable furnishings. I found this extremely odd, as it wasn't in keeping with the Richard I knew. I took a step back out of the house.

"What's the matter?" Richard asked.

I refused to answer as I narrowed my eyes and focused on him. I turned my head sideways and saw the shadow. I jumped off the porch and sprang into the nearest tree. Richard followed me outside of the house. He laughed at me.

"Hiding in a tree again?" he taunted.

I closed my eyes for a moment, "Where is he?"

"He's safe," he replied.

I stayed perched in the tree. I needed to sit and think. I had to plan my next move carefully. That was why it had been so difficult to find Richard. He must have been hiding, and somehow lost.

"You've not managed to kill him," I said.

"No," he returned.

"Then why?" I stopped at that. Richard wasn't there. This one was hoping that someone would turn up looking for him.

"You tried to trick John Winchester," I surmised.

"That didn't work out very well," he smiled coldly.

I sat in the tree and thought of all the horrible things I was going to do to John Winchester when I got a hold of him.

"What do you want?" I demanded.

"Fighting you wasn't in my plan," he shrugged.

"What do you want?" I repeated.

"Somehow, killing you isn't that easy," he continued.

I rolled my eyes at that. I'd mercifully forgotten that this one loved the sound of his voice. Of course, now I had to be reminded.

"I don't think that you're going to be rescued," he said in response to my silence.

"I beat you at the church and threw your spawn back into Hell," I reminded him, "What makes you think that I need to be rescued?"

"But he injured you," he grinned evilly.

"And Hell was sealed while I slept," I returned the smile.

Suddenly he flew into the tree and I was forced to jump out of it. The one good thing about this location was that it was remote. There was very little chance that some stray human would come along and see what should not be seen.

"Naughty Angel," he growled.

"I'm not the naughty one," I retorted.

He screamed and lunged at me. I stood my ground and caught him by surprise and threw him into the porch. The force of his landing broke the floor and shook the foundations. I was not prepared to kill this one. I doubted if it was possible for me to kill him, however, I was not inclined to discover if I could. My only goal was escape.

He stood and unsheathed his claws. It figured that he wasn't going to give up that easily.

"You should give up," I said.

"No," he came toward me.

I arched my back and unfurled my 'appendages'. He stopped. He stared at me for a moment. Then I assumed my true form, shedding the female figure he had seen and reminded him exactly what and who I was. I pulled my sword, which was now ablaze and he took a step back.

"Denri?" he whispered.

"Yes," I answered calmly, "Now do you remember, Fallen?"

I advanced with my sword poised and he refused to back down. I moved in one sweeping motion and sent him flying onto the roof of the house. The entire structure collapsed. He roared and came at me and I sliced his arm. He roared in pain and the ground shook. I took him by the neck and threw him into the tree, which toppled over.

I then wrapped my hand more tightly around the hilt of my sword. I advanced with measured steps.

"Stop!" a voice bellowed.

I turned and saw Michael standing next to another. It was not Michael who spoke. The other came to me and took the hand that held the sword.

"Hold," he said.

I stared for a moment at the Fallen who was now cowering on his knees. He remained silent.

The other walked up to him, "Challenging her is not wise," he said gently.

The Fallen nodded, "I will leave."

"That would be for the best," the other said.

Michael then pulled me to him. I pushed him away. I walked down to the water and sat in the bay. I was upset. Actually there is no way to accurately describe how I felt. I was angry and I did not like to feel angry. The other came and sat beside me in the water.

"I haven't seen you this upset since Salome," he said.

I made a face at him.

"You know, I prefer the female form," he said, "it suits you."

"It suits me?" I glared at him.

"Yes," he nodded, "females are always being left out."

I shook my head and resumed the female form I had shed.

"That's better," he said.

"It's easier to deal with me like this?" I argued.

"No," he disagreed, "it's just that you seem less frightening."

I stared at my reflection in the water. It was true that the face I chose was unassuming, but there was unmistakable power and presence there as well.

"But how I looked was my true form," I retorted.

"Yes," he nodded in agreement, "and that is why 'they were filled with fear and trembling'."

"Why are you down here?" I asked, "You never come down here."

"Well," he looked around at Michael, "Michael felt that it would be better if I came down Considering when you are in full battle mode I'm the only other who can actually get you to stand down."

I considered this for a moment. It was true, well almost true.

"The last time it didn't work," I observed.

"Yes, well," he smiled, "That was an unusual case."

"You're not supposed to be here," I told him, "You better leave, before…"

He laughed, "Yes, the legal departments."

Michael frowned slightly at that. The other stood and walked into the now forming mist and vanished.

"That was dirty pool, Michael," I accused.

"You've been hanging around humans too much," Michael returned.

Perhaps he was correct. I surveyed the damage and was appalled by what I had done.

"I can't believe that I did all that," I whispered.

"Oh, you did more than that," Michael said.

"What do you mean?" I was curious.

"You set off a series of quakes that have the humans running around trying to figure out what kind of cataclysm is happening," Michael grinned.

I was mortified.

"Well, I didn't do it by myself," I became defensive.

"True," Michael agreed, "It's not like you to fight. Well, not in full gear anyway."  
"I didn't want to get injured again," I grumbled.

"Denri," Michael glared at me, "that was full battle gear. You were going to for full damage."

"It's not like I could have killed the Fallen," I shrugged.

Michael didn't respond.

I found the silence disconcerting, but I didn't press him. I needed to take some time and then I remembered.

"Where's Richard?" I demanded.

"Safe," Michael answered.

"How safe?" I wanted to know.

"Very safe," Michael assured me.

"Okay," I was satisfied.

"Denri?" Michael frowned.

"What?" I snapped.

"What are you going to do?" he sounded worried.

"I'm going to find a shovel and do a human in," I smiled.

Michael's eyes widened. He took a step back, "Um, Denri?"

"Yes?" I answered.

"Fix the place before you go," Michael smiled.

I concentrated and brought everything back to order. Michael nodded his relief. I walked away from him, down the path and onto the road. I was going to find a shovel and I was going to settle a score with John Winchester, and I knew that his sons would help me. I was going to do that. I had decided. I was going to get that shovel. Maybe I should stop in Hell and see if there were any special ones on sale.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

I did not manage to get a shovel. I knew that one was in the trunk of the Impala, however, things did not work out the way I had hoped. I was on my way back to the Winchesters when I was grabbed and pulled back into Hell. Tracker Demons had been employed to fetch me. I was being summoned before the Leader of the Fallen to account for my actions in Anchorage. I was taken aback by the open move. However I will confess that I was more than willing to end the discussion.

I managed to get out of Hell unscathed, but I had to flex serious muscle to accomplish it. It was not unlike the early years when there was a great deal of fighting to determine status in Hell. I had motives. Of course, I had my staff to protect and the humans who I had formed attachments with. It took me an additional eight months to get out of Hell. I then had to track the Winchesters. I still had a score to settle with John.

It was three weeks after I had got out of Hell that I managed to find them at a roadside motel in the middle of Wisconsin. Aside from the cows, I couldn't figure out what could have brought them to this place, however, I was there and I was going to tell John a thing or two. I saw the car parked out front of the room and I entered. I walked straight into the room with the first open door and then stopped dead in my tracks.

"Kelsey!" Dean screamed.

I closed my eyes and walked out of the room closing the door behind me. The door flew open and I faced a very embarrassed Dean. The young woman behind him had certainly dressed in record time and was trying to make her way out of the room.

"Um," Dean began and stopped.

I looked around him at the young woman, "Hello," I smiled at her.

"Who are you?" her voice took on a defensive tone.

"His mom," I answered.

Her eyes widened in horror, "Dean."

"I didn't know," Dean covered quickly, "She wasn't supposed to be here."

"Yes," I nodded, "I probably should have called first. Where's your father?"

Dean stared at me for a moment and then he glanced at her, "You know, maybe it's a good idea if I took you home."

"I think that's a very good idea Dean," I said, "I'll wait here."

Dean grabbed his shirt and ushered the young woman whose name I did not get out of the room. I placed my head on the back of the chair and laughed, what else could I do?

It took Dean ten minutes to return. He sat across from me and he wore a frown.

"You're 17 now, right?" I asked.

"Yes," he answered.

"Please tell me that you…" I trailed off as I saw the look on his face.

"Why did you say you were my mom?" Dean asked.

"Would you have wanted to explain my presence?" I returned.

"No," Dean smirked, "it's just that you keep getting introduced as the mom a lot."

"Well," I said simply, "it's the easiest explanation."

"True," Dean nodded.

"Where is your father?" I asked.

"With Sammy," Dean replied.

"And where is that?" I sat forward.

"Are you going to kill him?" Dean questioned.

"Maybe," I grinned.

"They'll be here soon," Dean said.

"Your father leaves you alone to…" I widened my eyes in shock.

"No," Dean flashed a wide grin, "I just took advantage of the situation. They made a trip down to Caleb's. I called and said you were here."

"And John is hurrying back?" I raised an eyebrow.

Dean opened his mouth and then shut it when the door opened.

John Winchester had taken to looking even grizzlier than the last time I saw him. Sam was taller. He was almost as tall as his brother and he didn't look like he was about to stop growing any time soon. Sam's face lit up when he saw me.

"Kelsey!" he cried and I was pulled to my feet and enveloped in a hug. He was taller than me. I was faintly amused.

"Where have you been?" John demanded.

"John Winchester, I'm not in a forgiving mood at the moment," I warned.

John stared at me, "You got hurt again?"

"No," I answered sharply.

"Then what?" John continued to question me.

"You know, the entire world does not revolve around you. I have other responsibilities," I told him.

"What exactly is that?" Sam asked.

"Sammy," I warned.

"Oh, he wants to be called Sam since he turned 13," Dean volunteered.

"She can call me Sammy," Sam said.

"How is it she can do that?" Dean challenged.

"Because you're a jerk," Sam fired back.

"That will be enough boys," John intervened, "I'm sure that Kelsey isn't here to witness another of your epic fights."

Both Sam and Dean stopped arguing and faced me. I was amused at this and slightly perturbed.

Sam was now thirteen. That meant that he was undergoing puberty, which aside from the usual adolescent difficulties, he should have begun to experience his psychic abilities. I could sense nothing from him. That worried me immensely and I wondered if it was the blood bonding at work. I frowned, for I knew that the blood bonding couldn't take away Sam's gift. But it also meant that when his gift became active, he would suffer excruciating pain.

Sam stared at me for a moment, and then Dean pulled him into the other room. John's frown intensified.  
"You're not hiding a shovel under that skirt are you?" John asked.

I looked down at the skirt and then contemplated looking under it.

"No, Kelsey," John sounded nervous, "I was only kidding."

I smiled wickedly at him and he backed away into the wall. He glanced nervously to where his boys were.

"I don't suppose that the boys will lift a finger to help me," John grinned.

"You bastard," I told him hoarsely.

"So," John's back was firmly against the wall, "I take it that you found Rick."

"You crossed him and realized that it wasn't him," I grated.

John refused to answer, but he didn't have to, I could see it in his eyes.

I turned away from him. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that he was human and therefore fragile. I saw that both Sam and Dean were watching me through the open doorway. I wondered briefly if they actually believed that I would hurt their father. Then John cleared his throat. I spun and faced him. He lifted his hand and in it were a pair of panties. I raised an eyebrow and attempted to look surprised.

"I don't think these are yours," John said.

"Well," I looked him straight in the eye, "I don't wear those."

John's eyebrow nearly reached his hairline. Then his face cleared and he closed his eyes for a moment.

"You didn't…" he stopped.

"Oh," I had a hard time keeping a straight face and holding on to my anger, "I probably should have called first."

John lowered his head and shook it, "Dean," he said.

"Well," I shrugged.

"How did she?" John looked at me.  
"She was a bit…um…" I grinned.

"And what explanation did you use?" John frowned at me.  
"I'm his mom," I spun and headed for the room.

John's hand was on my shoulder and he turned me around, "His mom?"

"Well," I shrugged, "You let Caleb believe that," I paused. "How is that one working out?"

"I told Caleb that you weren't really the boys' mother," John admitted.

"So what am I?" I was curious.

"A rocky relationship," John said sheepishly.

I rolled my eyes and shook John off. I walked into the room where Sam and Dean were feigning indifference. I walked up to Dean and pushed him on to the bed. He stared up at me. I glared at him for a moment, then, I went to sit beside Sam. John sat on the bed next to Dean. Dean was wary of his father.  
"Dean," John began, "Who was she?"

"You can't ask him that," Sam said.

"Yes," Dean agreed, "you can't ask me that."

"And why not?" John's voice dropped in volume.

"Well," Sam explained, "Dean's not likely to know her name."

I stared at Sam in horror, "Sammy, you can't be serious!"

"Well, he doesn't know her name," Sam argued, "It's not like he ever sees a girl more than once."

"What?" John and I said at the same time.

Dean's eyes went from his dad to me, "Um, maybe I should go take a walk."

"No," John placed his hand on his son, "Tell me you were being careful."

"Always Dad," Dean assured him.

John looked at me, "I wouldn't know," my voice went up an octave, "I wasn't looking."

Sam chuckled beside me, "I would have."

I rubbed the top of his head, "Well, I didn't."

"Why?" John asked.

I thought for a moment, "Well, to tell the truth, from where I was it wasn't possible to tell."

Dean's face turned red. Sam could no longer hold in his mirth and began laughing loud and hard. John chuckled. Dean lowered his head at that point.

"I've learned my lesson," Dean said.  
"No more strange girls you only see once?" I asked sweetly.

"No," Dean fixed me with a steely gaze, "I'll make sure that I go to her place."


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

The rest of the evening passed relatively peacefully with Dean keeping his head down and Sam taking 'pot shots' at him. After a while, however, John had had enough and put an end to everything. I remained silent for the duration. Sam eventually couldn't stay awake any longer and passed out in his chair. Dean stared at him for a moment, then picked him up and carried him to bed. I watched amusedly as Dean got his brother settled under the covers.

Dean looked up and saw me watching him. He scowled at me and then walked out of the room. He headed for the door and went outside. I stared at John for a moment.

"I'm not the one who caught him," John observed.

"You're his father," I said.

"Well, I'm not the one who caught him," John reiterated.

"You are of no help," I threw a cushion at him.

"Ow!" John feigned hurt.

"Just be grateful it's not a shovel. The boys tell me that there is one in the trunk," I threatened.

John merely grinned at me. I rolled my eyes and walked out the door to find Dean.

I found him sitting on the hood of the car. He was staring down at his feet. I stood in front of him. Dean refused to look at me.

"You have to speak to me at some point," I told him.

Dean kept his head lowered. I placed my fingers under his chin and raised his face; his eyes flickered up and met mine.

"You're upset with me," I said, "you need to let me know how you feel."

"You didn't have to tell him," Dean scowled as he moved his head away from my hand.  
"I didn't tell him," I confessed.

"Then how did he know?" Dean accused.

I grinned at him, "Well Dean, you know, it was the panties that did you in."

Dean's eyebrows almost went into his hairline, "What?"

"Well," I sat beside him, "your dad and I were arguing and he picked up the panties and asked if they were mine."

Dean stared at me with a horrified expression. "He what?"

"Well, your father figured that _**I**_ wouldn't be wearing that piece of dental floss," my smile grew wider.

Dean smirked, "Yeah, I guess that would be true."

"So," I nudged him slightly, "I'm forgiven?"

Dean nodded, "I guess you are."

I studied him for a moment, "Um, Dean, that girl."

"Don't worry about it," Dean said.

"No," I shook my head, "I mean, that you need to be careful."

Dean frowned at me, "What do you mean?"

"Well," I said.

"Dean!" John's voice cut through the night.  
Dean jumped to his feet, "Yes sir."

"Time you were in bed," John fixed him a stern stare, "We need to get moving first thing."  
Dean nodded his head and walked back into the room. I stayed where I was.

John hadn't returned to the room either. He was staring at the road lost in thought. I left him to his musings.

"You know," John said after a few minutes, "You're probably the only one who could've spoken to him."

"You could have," I countered.

"Well," John still did not look at me, "I'm just glad that you did it."

"You're welcome," I told him.  
"So," John turned to me, "Are you going to sleep out here on the car?"

I appeared to mull over the idea.

"Kelsey!" John exclaimed.

"I would never have thought of it," I teased.

"We've got to get going early tomorrow," he said.

"I heard," I pointed out.

John walked away from me and closed the room door. I stayed on the hood of the car and leaned back. It was definitely more comfortable than a headstone in a cemetery. Then I thought of Dean and the car, and I will confess that certain thoughts ran through my head. I quickly got up and went to join them in the room.

I was surprised to find the door unlocked. John merely glanced up at me when I walked in. He was writing in a journal. It was a habit I had noticed with many hunters. I sat in the chair nearest to the table. He continued writing and I leaned back and closed my eyes.

"So, you decided to come in here instead of staying outside?" John's voice cut through my thoughts.

"Make up your mind John Winchester," I said quietly.

John remained silent and I opened my eyes and found him staring at me with an inscrutable expression on his face.

"What?" I sat up in the chair.  
"You are the oddest thing," John said.

"So I'm a thing now?" I teased.

"I'm being serious Kelsey," John glowered at me.

"Then it would help, if you didn't look at me like you want to separate my head from my body," I commented.

John huffed and fell into a gloomy silence. I sighed. It was going to take a great deal of time for him to say what was truly on his mind. He had become so accustomed to keeping everything inside that it was increasingly difficult for him to share his thoughts. I studied him from where I sat. He could have settled into a regular life. He could have found a woman who would have been willing to help him raise his sons. He could have made those choices. I had actively encouraged him, but John Winchester was resolute, determined and exceedingly stubborn. He also was afraid of being too close to anyone. He had said that he 'got lucky' once, when he spoke of his wife. I stared at his hands for a moment. He still wore his wedding band. This was thirteen years after her death, and he still wore his wedding band. John was not moving forward.

"Don't you feel lonely John?" I asked him.

His head snapped up and he blinked twice, "Lonely?"

"Yes," I sat forward, "lonely. You know, don't you feel the need for human companionship?"

"Like a woman?" the corners of his mouth twitched.

"Yes," I nodded, "Hell, even your son…"

John chuckled, "Yes, well Dean is."  
"Dean is following his father's example," I accused.

"I don't indulge in…" John said defensively.

"I didn't say that did I?" I argued.

"Kelsey, can we not argue," John pleaded.

"Not argue?" I huffed, "John, no one can have a conversation with you without arguing."

"Yes, well right now, I don't need you threatening me with a shovel," John lowered his voice.

I stared at him for a moment and then I chuckled.

"You're afraid that I'll hit you with a shovel?" This secretly thrilled me.

"Kelsey, you threw a cushion at me," John said evenly.

"Well," I shrugged, "I could have thrown the chair."

John stood and moved a little distance away from me.

"Now John," I said sweetly, "You can't be afraid of me, can you?"  
"Kelsey," his voice was calm, "I know that you can easily break me in half. And I know that you're just a bit upset with me about the whole Rick thing."  
"A little bit, yeah," I agreed.

"So," John continued, "knowing that you are capable of…um…. doing me some serious damage…"  
"You think it's in your best interest to placate me?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Well yes," John smiled.

I narrowed my eyes as I became increasingly suspicious of him. I knew that he wasn't possessed, but he wasn't acting like himself either.

"Okay John," I decided to find out what was really going on, "What do you want?"

John's expression changed to a hurt one.

"Oh don't even bother trying to look like a wounded puppy dog," I snapped, "Sammy does a much better job than you ever could."

"That was harsh," John's smile widened.

"I'm not a human woman John," I said, "your charm is wasted here."

John came forward and dragged a chair with him. He straddled it and faced me squarely. I waited for him to say his piece.

"You really think that I'm responsible for Dean?" John demanded.

"Yes," I stated flatly, "Think about it. What have you shown him in terms of a relationship?"

"What do you mean?" John frowned.

"Are they given any form of stability?" I asked.

"We do what we do…" John began.

"And we shut up about it," I finished.

John crooked an eyebrow, "Sammy."  
"He had to talk to someone John," I sighed.

"Well talking to you," John stopped.

"I'm not a substitute John," I said.

"You're here," he said.

"Yes," I nodded, "and there are times when I wonder if I'm not doing more harm than good."

"I think that the boys and I would have killed each other by now," John chuckled.

"No," I shook my head, "John, I'm not saying that you're a bad parent, per se."

"Per se," John grinned.

"It's just that," I stopped.

"I know," John nodded, "I wonder at times if I'm doing the right thing too."

I stared at him and saw how much that admission cost him. So, I didn't throw the chair.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

I stayed in the chair for the rest of the night, watching as the dawn came. I have always liked dawn. It is a peaceful time and when I am in Hell, I don't get an opportunity to enjoy it. Usually, because there is some crisis or the other being manufactured.

I heard the door open and turned to find Sam staring at me. I sat forward and smiled.

"Good morning," I greeted him.

He continued staring at me. I frowned and quickly crossed to where he stood. His eyes were glazed and his breaths came in pants. I placed my hands on his face and his skin felt clammy and hot.

Then Dean appeared behind him. He picked Sam up and carried him back to his bed. I followed staring at Dean uncomprehending.

"Sammy," Dean started patting his face.

"Has this happened before?" I whispered.

"Yes," came the succinct reply.

"Your father," I turned to head out the door. I felt when Dean's hand grabbed mine, then I spun around.

"He doesn't know," Dean stared at me with pleading eyes.

"Don't you think that you should tell him?" I was confused.

"No," Dean stated flatly, "It doesn't happen often."

"Your father should know," I advised.

Dean didn't respond. He simply continued his ministrations to Sam. Sam's head moved and he moaned as his eyes fluttered open. He stared up at Dean and then his eyes fell on me. He frowned.

"It was a nightmare, Sammy," Dean whispered.

Sam struggled to sit up in the bed. He clung to Dean for support and Dean held him until he felt strong enough to let go.

I sat on Dean's bed and watched the brothers. I sensed John's presence before the boys did and realized that John already knew what was happening. I walked out of the room and found John seated with his head in his hands.

"How long?" I asked.

"It started a few months ago," he answered.

"Right about when he turned 13," I surmised.

"Yes," John confirmed.

"It'll pass," I assured him.

John didn't respond. He was extremely worried and he would react to that worry. I frowned for a moment and thought back to the incident when John was drunk.

"You take it out on Dean, don't you?" I demanded.

John's head snapped up and he frowned at me. "No, it's just sometimes Dean wants to do something and he needs…"

I saw John's face undergo a lightning change. He seemed terrified.

"Kelsey," John's voice was soothing.

"What?" I was trying to figure out what had him so scared.

"Put the table down," John continued in the same tone, "Please."

I looked at my hands and saw that I had the table. I placed it back where it belonged and stepped away from it.

"I think I need to be away from you," I was disturbed by the level of violence that was being incited in me. Then I thought back to what had transpired and recognized that this was a natural response to what was happening.

I realized that John had moved from his seat and was standing in front of me.

"That's not very wise, John," I warned.

"You're not liable to hurt me Kelsey," John placated.

I stared at him for a moment, "You forget something. I am not human."

"I know," John stared directly into my eyes, "it's hard to ignore."

I stepped away from him, "I see that I have allowed you to get too familiar with me."

"Don't do this Kelsey," John pleaded. "Don't cut us off."

"I can make it so that you never knew that I existed," I offered.

John's face fell. He gazed at me with hurt eyes, "You can't."

I took another step away from him, "John, you need to find a human…"

"Stop it," he whispered hoarsely, "just stop it."

It was so easy to forget at times the level of pain and hurt that this man carried within him. He hid it so well and was so aggravating that it often escaped notice. But now he stood before me and he was revealing his pain.

"It would make things easier," I said.

"No," John shook his head in disagreement.

"Why not?" I was curious.

"Because, it would take away the love that my sons have received from you," John said evenly.

I gaped at him. Somehow this was not what I had expected. John should have jumped at the chance to be rid of me. But he was holding on.

I turned and saw that Sam and Dean were standing in the doorway with their mouths agape. Sam looked on the verge of tears and Dean's face was stormy.

"I am not abandoning you," I said.

"It seems like that to us," Dean answered.

"I was merely offering a solution to this," I explained.

"Well, un – offer it," Dean growled.

"Dean," John's voice was stern.

Dean looked at his father and then backed down. Sam however stepped forward.  
"No!" he shouted.

"Sammy," Dean placed his hand on his shoulder.

"Dad is not going to make her leave," Sam said angrily.

"I'm not making her leave Sammy," John argued.

"Yes," Sam was adamant, "you push people away. You push everyone away!"

"Son, you have no idea what you're talking about," John countered.

"You think I am a child!" Sam screamed.

"Sammy," Dean rubbed his back.

"No!" Sam shrugged off his brother, "You won't do it."

"Sam!" John strode to face him. Sam was not as tall as his father and Dean jumped between the two.

"That will be quite enough!" I said loudly, but not loud enough to hurt them.

All three spun to face me and I realized that they had quite forgotten that I was present. I wasn't sure if I should have been disturbed by that fact or pleased. I saw where this kind of argument was headed. It wasn't any place good. I recalled Sam in tears speaking about his father. I remembered the rage as he cried in my arms on Bobby's porch.

"I think that we should get something to eat," I told them, "It's apparent that we are still dealing with a lot of things and it would be better on a full stomach, rather than an empty one."

"I agree," John walked back to his chair, "get dressed boys."

Sam was still shaking from the anger that had boiled up in him. Dean pulled him back into the room.

"Kelsey," John spoke.

"Yes," I answered.

"You're not going anywhere," John stated baldly.

I stared at him for a moment, "You can't control me John."

"No," he agreed, "But I can hope."

My mouth twitched, "Nope. It's not been working for any others, so why would it work for you?"

"Yes, smartass is still one of your abilities," he mused.

"Yep," I concurred.

I sat across from John as we waited for the boys. There had been something else that had been of great concern to me. Since we were already 'clearing the air' I felt that we should continue.

"John," I said, "you're taking the fact that your son is sexually active, quite calmly."

John stared at his hands for a moment, "Well, it was bound to happen."

"True, but doesn't it disturb you a little bit?" I asked.

John smiled, "Kelsey, Dean's a boy. I would be worried if he wasn't."

I raised an eyebrow, "But?"

"Look, if Dean was a girl, I'd pitch a fit. It's that way, but he's not," John explained.

"That's mighty sexist," I commented.

"Perhaps," John shrugged, "But it's a fact."

I thought about that statement. It was true that parents tended to be more concerned about keeping their daughters virgins. I always maintained that the same rules should be applied to both. But then as one father many years ago pointed out, girls were the ones who had babies. Then I thought of John, he had not only chosen to raise his sons in this odd way, but he had _**chosen**_ to raise his sons. That was a huge deal where I was concerned.

John sat still for a moment, then, the boys emerged from their room with their bags. It was then I remembered that they were leaving to go elsewhere. John stood, grabbed his keys and the boys followed him out of the room. I remained seated on the chair.

"Kelsey," John called, "It would be a good idea if you came."

I debated with myself for a moment and then left the room.

I walked to where the vehicles were parked. Dean was getting into the Impala and Sam held the passenger door open. I stared at him for a moment. John looked over his shoulder.

"Kelsey," he said, "you better ride with them."

"Why?" I asked sweetly.

"Because I stand a better chance of reaching where we're headed in one piece," John smiled.

Sam stared at his father for a moment as I got into the passenger seat. Sam then got in the back. Dean started the car and drove behind his father. We watched the scenery in silence.

Dean turned the radio on and the music was pulsating. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel but remained silent. He was very angry. Sam leaned forward and touched my hair.  
"Yes Sammy," I turned to him.

"Um, Kelsey," he was hesitant, "Why did Dad say it was safer to drive with us?"

I shrugged, "He seemed to believe that he wouldn't get where he was going in one piece."

"He's afraid that she'll use the shovel in the back Sammy," Dean said quietly.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

I stared at Dean for a moment for I wasn't sure that I heard him correctly. However, Sam erupted in peals of laughter and Dean's mouth curved slightly. I turned away from them and gazed out the window. Dean handled the car quite well, but then he had been driving it for a few years. I saw John's truck turn off the Interstate and head into another town.

"Great," Dean said under his breath.

I frowned at that statement, however I chose to ignore it. We followed John into the parking lot of a diner. Sam jumped out of the car and my door opened before Dean switched off the ignition.  
"Starving?" I teased.

Sam said nothing.

Dean came and punched him lightly in the arm, but Sam didn't move. He was staring blankly into space. Dean grabbed him and shook him hard.

"What?" Sam snapped

"Where were you?" Dean demanded.

"Hmm?" Sam answered absently.

"Sammy, I swear," Dean's voice was low and deadly. I also noticed that his fist was closed.

"Dean," I warned, "you're not going to hit your brother."

Dean shot me a defiant look that took my breath away. There was a great amount of anger seething beneath the surface, but Dean had stamped it down quickly.

"Dean!" John called from where he stood.  
"Nothing sir!" Dean returned.

I raised any eyebrow, there had been no question asked and yet an answer had been given. John walked into the diner and Dean left us standing by the car.

I watched him as he strode into the diner. Sam sighed heavily.

"It's not nice to do that to your brother Sammy," I said quietly.

"Dean can take it," Sam answered flippantly.

I grabbed his arm and forced him to meet my eyes, "Your brother is your family."

"I know that," Sam argued.

"No," I grabbed his face. "You shouldn't play tricks on him."

Sam glared at me, "We play tricks all the time."

"Oh?" I was curious.  
"Yes, he put Nair in my shampoo once," Sam grumbled.

"Did he do it yesterday?" I pulled his hair.

"No," Sam said.

"So, are you taking revenge for something that he did yesterday?" I pressed.

"No," Sam hung his head.

"Your brother loves you," I said sternly, "you should treat him better."

"Yes ma'am," Sam nodded while looking at me apprehensively.

I ruffled his hair and we walked together to the diner.

The place was like so many others that I had seen over the years. I spotted Dean sitting morosely in front of John. I frowned at the picture that was being presented. Sam blew his breath out hard. I understood clearly what was going on and I didn't like it.

"Come on," Sam muttered.

We joined them in the booth. Sam and I both stood beside Dean. He looked up at us and stood. I went in first, followed by Sam and then Dean. John stared at us for a moment.

"You know, it would help if you were on my side at times," John said quietly.

I feigned ignorance, "I don't take sides John."  
"Like hell you don't," John spat.

"Why, I feel as though my honor is being impugned," I cried.

Sam and Dean chuckled quietly.

"Smartass," John muttered.

"Hmm, what should we call you?" I said pointedly.

"I could think of something," Sam grumbled.

"Sammy," Dean warned, "not now."

"Look what is going on with you two?" John demanded.

"Nothing," Dean said.

"I'm your father, don't lie to me," John growled.

"Nothing," Sam supported.

John sat still for a moment. It was obvious that he didn't believe them. He knew that they were keeping things from him.

"What is going on?" John fixed them both with an icy stare.

"John," I began.

John glared at me and I smiled. He sat up straighter and started examining his menu with great interest.

Sam nudged me and I suppressed the smile on my face. Dean coughed discreetly.

"Okay," Dean said, "Let's order something to eat eh?"

"And not the waitress," Sam ribbed.

"Sammy!" I poked him.

"It's okay," Dean paused with a mischievous look on his face, "Sammy has a tendency to like teachers."

John's eyebrows reached his hairline. He looked as though he was pondering how to address that.

"Um," I stammered, "Teachers?"

"Yes," Dean scratched his chin, "That's why he's always staying behind after school."  
John shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He wasn't sure how to treat this.

"Sammy," John's voice was low, "son, um, I don't think that 13…. Your teacher?"

"Dad," Sam pleaded, "It's not true, Dean's just messing with me."

"Well," Dean smirked, "Sammy does get some awfully high grades."

"Just because you don't study," Sammy's voice took on a higher pitch, "doesn't mean that I'm not bright."

John exhaled and looked relieved and I glared at him. "Wait a minute," I stopped them. "John Winchester, you have a problem with Sammy following Dean's footsteps?"

"Well," John realized that he was caught, "I just wanted it to be that he waited as long as Dean did."

"As long?" I asked.

Dean sat up straight in his seat, "What do you mean as long?"

"Son," John gave Dean a knowing look, "I knew, okay."

Sam sank down in his seat and I erupted in laughter.

"Let's eat," Dean growled, "I can't take it when the two of you are on the same side."

The waitress came and got our order. We ate quickly and I opted to partake in food so that we seemed more normal. After the meal was finished we again set out. Dean patiently followed John as he drove ahead of us. Sam settled in the back in silence and Dean tapped his fingers in tune with the music as he drove. I settled into the seat and watched the scenery out the window. It was almost evening before we found a motel. Lunch had been a short affair that was carefree and the boys were happy again.

I had been surprised that John was fully aware of his sons' activities. Which made me feel a bit better about the level of care that he gave them. Dean pulled into the motel parking lot. He stopped the car and got out to speak with his father. I looked over at Sam who had fallen asleep in the backseat. He looked so peaceful. But then most humans looked peaceful when they were asleep.

I heard the door open and l looked up at Dean who was offering me his hand. I smiled at this action but allowed him to assist me out of the car. He then wrapped his arms around me, in a move that I found surprising. I pulled away from him and looked at him quizzically.

"Thanks," he said quietly.

I smiled up at him and nodded. John came over at that point and pulled open the door and lifted Sam out of the car. Dean went ahead and left me standing beside the car.

Then I felt the chill in the air. I frowned for it was a strong pull. I felt the air rush from my chest and I felt the pain sear through me. I fell to the ground. I knew instantly what it was. I heard John calling to me. His voice held a note of panic in it. He was checking around for the source of the attack on me. He yelled instructions to Dean and pulled me into the room. Sam had come awake and was very concerned about what was happening. I waved my hand at them. I had to straighten up and breathe.

"I'm all right," I said.

"No," John frowned at me.

"It's not that I was attacked," I told him, "I have to leave now."

"What?" Dean shook his head at me, "you can't leave. You're hurt."

"No," I assured him, "I'm not hurt. Someone needs me right now."

"Huh?" Sam came forward.

"I have to go now," I managed to pull myself upright.

"Kelsey," John whispered, "I'll take you where you need to go."  
"I travel faster my way John," I patted his head.

I walked to the door and smiled at them. I then walked through it and went around the corner, ensuring that no prying eyes were seeing what was about to happen. I shifted from physical form and became light. Then I crossed the distance quickly. As I left I heard John calling my name, but I couldn't explain to him, time was running out and I had to get there before it was too late.

I stopped in the middle of the road. I saw the lights flashing from the emergency vehicles. Father Bennett was standing in the middle of the road. I saw the Reaper waiting under the trees. He nodded to me and I acknowledged his presence. I walked up to Father Bennett. The policeman was speaking.

"Father," he said, "we got to move the car now."

"No," Father Bennett shook his head, "she'll be here."  
"Who is coming?" he asked.

"I am," I answered.

The policeman started at the sight of me. I looked at Father Bennett and there were tears behind his eyes. I walked around them and knelt at the overturned car. I reached down and touched the hair that had spilled out of the habit.

"I'm here," I told her.

"It's yourself," Sister Anthony smiled weakly.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

I stared down at her. She was near death. I could do nothing except hold her hand as I had promised all those years ago, when she was a lost child. The thunder screamed overhead. Father Bennett came and knelt beside me.  
"They want to move the car," he choked back sobs.

I looked closely and saw that it was the car that was keeping her alive.

"She told them that she wanted to wait for you." Tears streamed down his face.

Sister Anthony closed her eyes. "I am ready now," she whispered.

I nodded to Father Bennett, and he gave her Last Rites. Then the signal was given and

I saw the workers come closer to lift the car off her. I stared blankly at them, while I managed to grasp her hand. The crane lifted the vehicle off and she gasped for air. The Reaper hovered close by and took her. Sister Anthony stopped breathing and her hand fell slack in mine.

The rain came down in torrents at that point. The emergency workers gathered her body as quickly as they could and everyone sought shelter. Father Bennett stood near me. I waved him off as I mourned the passing of my friend.  
"Clara," I whispered the name that she had been born with.

Father Bennett walked to the others and I stayed in the middle of the road with the crumpled wreckage, weeping. The rain increased.

I heard her calling to me, and I walked to where the Reaper stood with her.

"You have to go with him," I said.

"No," Sister Anthony shook her head, "You're going to take me."

"I can't," I smiled.

"What?" she looked confused.

"It's the rules," I told her, "I can't go where you are headed."

"Why?" she tried to grab hold of my hand.

"Because," I smiled gently, "I have my duty. My duty includes my not being able to go where you are headed."  
"I want to be with you," Sister Anthony said.

"You'll be fine," I assured her.

"But I won't see you again," she cried.

"You won't remember me," I told her.

She stared at me with tears in her eyes. Then I saw him appear behind them. It was Raphael. The Reaper turned and saw him.

"Why are you here?" the Reaper demanded.

"She is to come with me," Raphael said as he showed the Reaper the scroll.

The Reaper took the scroll and frowned at it. He nodded, "This is in order."

He moved off and then turned back. He took hold of Sister Anthony's hands, "It's okay. The memory of her has to be taken from you."

Sister Anthony shook her head. The Reaper walked away and vanished.

Raphael stared at Sister Anthony for a moment. He placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Come," he said gently, "it's time for you to leave this place."

"Where am I going?" she demanded.

"A different place," Raphael smiled at her.

Sister Anthony grasped at me with her hands. "It's okay Clara. Go with him. It's time."

She nodded and allowed Raphael to take her.

I sank back to the ground and wept. I felt the rain pounding and I didn't move. I couldn't move. The pain was tremendous. I recalled every detail of her life. I lay down and allowed the rain to wash over me.

I don't know how long I remained there on the ground in the rain, but I knew that I had to get up. I pulled myself to my feet and walked the miles in the rain to the church. I opened the doors and found Father Bennett praying at the altar. He stood at that point and faced me.  
"I was wondering how long it would take you to get here," he smiled.

"I can't explain this to you," I told him.

"No," he agreed, "but for you to be crying for five days straight…"

"Five days?" I frowned.

"Yes," he nodded. Then he looked out the window, "Of course I could be wrong."

I smiled briefly at that.  
"The accident was senseless," he breathed.

"Accidents usually are," I concurred.

"The other driver was drunk and speeding," Father Bennett told me.

"Does that make it better?" I asked.

"Does what make it better?" Father Bennett seemed puzzled.

"To now have a reason," I shrugged.

Father Bennett pondered this for a moment and then he turned his tear filled eyes to me.

I perched on the top of the pew. I said nothing. I felt the pain of the loss greatly. The last time I had experienced this kind of pain, I had gone back into Hell and stayed there for almost five hundred years. Then I grew curious about the changes on the surface and I had chosen to take a walk. It was on that walk that I had met Samuel Colt. He had impressed me with his zeal and then I had made that fateful decision.

"What are you thinking, Denri?" Father Bennett asked.

"Of the past," I answered.

"The past?" he seemed puzzled.

"The last time I had mourned like this," I stopped.

"So, you're going back down into Hell?" he asked.

"I think it's best to spend some time there," I nodded.

"The funeral is tomorrow," Father Bennett said suddenly.

"You're angry with me," I was surprised.

"No," he said. Then he turned to me, "Yes! I am angry with you!"

"Why?" I was confused.

"You're going to run away!" he accused.

"I'm taking some time to deal with this," I returned, "you know that I'm never going to see her again."

"You could choose to go back," he suggested.

"That's not likely," I said.

"You have to choose a side," he warned.

That reminded me of the conversation with Micah. He had said that I had to choose. Now Father Bennett, who had been like me, was telling me the same thing. I had to make a choice.

"You don't understand," I explained.

"Then tell me!" he demanded.

"I can't," I whispered, "it's not for any of you to know."

Father Bennett frowned at me, "Well, like I said, the funeral is tomorrow."

I nodded and he left me in the church.

I stayed there until the morning, and then remained until they brought the coffin with her body in it. I sat in the back of the church and mourned her passing. The church was full of the people whose lives she had touched. The people whose lives she had saved. Father Bennett had a hard time getting through the Mass.

When it came time for the procession to the cemetery I followed the others. I waited until they had all left, then I lay my head on the dirt that covered her grave. The thunder, which had been screaming, fulfilled its promise and the rain again came down in torrents. I then dragged myself away from the grave and walked to the nearest wood. I was searching for something. Then I found it. I carried it back to the graveside.

I dug into the earth with my hands and when I had made the hole deep enough I placed the sapling into the ground. I covered it and watered it with my tears. I lay my head back on the grave and stayed there with my eyes closed. Then I felt the hand on my shoulder. I opened my eyes and came face to face with Sam. I frowned at him.

"What?" I asked.

"We've been looking for you," he knelt beside me.

"How?" I was confused.

"Bobby heard about Sister Anthony. He told us that this is where you probably were. We went to the church and Father Bennett said you were probably still here," Sam explained.

"We? Us?" I looked around and saw no one with him.

Sam smiled briefly at me, "Dad is a little scared to come into the cemetery."  
"Why?" my frown deepened.

"Well, Kelsey, you're near shovels and open graves…" Sam grinned at me.

I rubbed his face gently, "Very funny."

"I'm serious," Sam's face was earnest.

I didn't respond. I remained on the ground and he placed his arms around my shoulders.  
"Did you know her very well?" he asked staring at the covered grave.

"Yes," I nodded, "I had known her a very long time."

Sam didn't respond. He rested his head on my shoulder.

We stayed that way until the rain ceased. Then he stared at the sapling.

"Kelsey, why did you plant that tree?" His voice held a note of puzzlement.

"It's a very old custom," I answered.

"Old custom?" he sounded intrigued.

"Well, yes, to mark a grave with a tree," I smiled briefly, "there are many graves that have no headstones. It was an old belief that if you planted a tree on the site of a grave then the dead would be remembered, for that person would live on as part of the tree."

"That sounds like re-incarnation," Sam frowned.

"No," I shook my head, "it's more like the balance of life. A tree represents life. It is life that grows on the symbol of death. It's the cycle of life and death. Where there is death there is also life."

"That sounds confusing," Sam said.  
"Old customs usually are Sammy," his father answered.

We turned and saw Dean walking to stand next to John.

"How long are you going to be gone?" John asked.

"Not long," I said.

"Not long for you is years, Kelsey," John stated flatly.

I gave a weak smile, "Maybe I'll turn up when you least expect it John."

"I understand," he nodded.

Sam hugged me and I stood. Then Dean enveloped me in a hug. The boys left with their father and I went down into Hell.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

I can't begin to explain why I chose to be away from the others. However, I knew that I was not going to be through mourning the loss of Sister Anthony for some time. Although Father Bennett accused me of basically being a coward and running away, and there are probably those who will agree with him; that was not the case. In fact, the six days I was on the surface and mourning the loss of Sister Anthony, there was a record surge of flood rains in certain places. The amount of damage was tremendous.

In that case I knew that I should be in a place where my mourning would not result in catastrophe. So, I left those on the surface and immersed myself into the problems of Hell. I decided as a distraction to figure out exactly what plot the Fallen and its spawn were hatching. However, everywhere I turned there was no information. I heard rumors about other children being involved in bonding incidents, but my reporters could uncover nothing. Eventually, I decided to return to the surface. I figured that I should employ the same tactics that the human hunters did and track the movements of the Fallen and its spawn.

I walked down the road and observed the cars that passed. They seemed to be of different models than the ones I saw the last time I was on the surface. I walked past a newsstand and noted the year. I had been in Hell for five years. Well that was considerably shorter than the last time. I saw a bar and decided to enter it. There should be some drunk in there willing to talk about something that was strange or unusual. I tried to ignore the pit in my stomach that I should track down the Winchesters. Then I shook my head and steadied myself. I had to do this.

I entered the bar and was struck by the smoke filled haze. I made my way to the bar so that I could survey the people in it. I sat at the only available stool, and turned to observe the people in the room. My hand brushed the person who was sitting next to me.

"I'm sorry," I murmured.

"That's all right," was the response.

The bartender came over to me, "Anything for the lady?"

I shook my head, "I'm going to take my time deciding."

The bartender smiled and walked off. The man next to me swirled his drink in his bottle and said, "I'd be careful, he might think that you're a regular person, Kelsey."

My head snapped up and I stared at the man in front of me. My eyes widened slightly and I nearly fell off the stool.

"Dean?" I whispered.

"Surely I haven't changed that much in five years, Kelsey," he said wryly.

"Maybe in terms of attitude," I acknowledged.

Dean placed his bottle on the counter. "So why are you here?"

"Well, I certainly wasn't expecting to run into you," I answered.

"You weren't?" he looked at me.

"No," I shook my head.

"Well, don't that beat all," he said snidely.

I stared at him for a moment. He was now twenty-two by my count, which meant that Sam was eighteen. But he didn't act like a young man of his age. He was older and harder. I missed the child he was.

"Well, you haven't asked," he stated.

"What?" I was puzzled.

"Where are Sammy and dad," his voice was hard.

"Oh dear," I murmured.

"That's an understatement," Dean gave a bark of laughter, however there was no mirth in it.

"How bad have been the fights?" I asked.

Dean stole a look at me from the corner of his eyes. I didn't need him to explain. I was witness to the beginning of it when Sam turned thirteen and there was no doubt in my mind that the arguments would have increased in frequency and volatility as Sam grew older and John was no longer able to exert control. I reached to touch Dean's hair, and his hand clamped over my fingers.  
"I'm not a child, Kelsey," he warned.

"I know," I was sad. I stood to leave.

I heard when the money was thrown down on the counter and Dean grabbed my arm and propelled me out of the bar. I was not about to fight him, for whatever was happening it was enough for him to drag me to the others. We stopped in front of the Impala. I marveled at the condition of the car. Dean held open the passenger door for me. I got in.

We drove the few miles in silence. Dean's jaw was set and his mouth was a firm line. I said nothing. He didn't ask me where I had been, and I didn't volunteer. After fifteen minutes we reached a cabin in the middle of the woods. Dean stopped the car and switched off the ignition. I could hear the screaming from where we sat. Dean lightly hit the back of his head on the seat and then opened the car door.

I sat debating the merits of interfering in this battle between John and Sam. Dean, however, decided for me. He pulled open the passenger door and took my hand. I followed him up the steps to the front door. He opened it and pushed me in front of him. I stood perfectly still as I watched the scene unfolding in front of me.

"You can't be serious!" Sam screamed at his father.

"You're not going!" John bellowed.

"Just try and stop me!" Sam threatened.

"Stop you! Are you out of your mind? Do you know what kind of danger you're putting yourself into?" John was livid.

"Danger!" Sam looked around him, "What danger? Unless you count the things that you expose us to?"

"Sammy!" John yelled.

"No! No! I won't let you do this!" Sam was defiant.

"You can't go!" John threw a chair at the wall.

"Like Hell!" Sam kicked the table out of the way.

"I said no!" John's face was purple with rage.

"You're not paying for it! I earned a full ride to Stanford!" Sam screamed at him.

"What good is that going to do you?" John demanded.

"I can have a normal life!" Sam bellowed.

"Normal life? What normal life? There are evil things in this world, Sammy! You know this, and you know that you are a hunter!" John argued.

"I'm going!" Sam declared.  
"If you go, then you stay gone. You don't come back!" John threatened.

Dean at that point moved between them and I ran to make certain that they didn't kill him.

"Stop it!" Dean cried, "Both of you stop it right now!"

"No, Dean," Sam shaking his head, "you heard him. If I go then I stay gone. Well I'm going."

"Sammy, he didn't mean that." Dean turned to his father. "Tell him you didn't mean that."  
"Like hell I didn't mean that!" John shouted stubbornly.

"You can't do this!" Dean pleaded.

"No," Sam stepped away from Dean, "it's done. It's over."

"That's right," John nodded. "You pack your bags and leave."

"Fine!" Sam said.

"Fine!" John repeated.

They each stormed into other rooms. Dean sat on the floor and placed his head in his hands.

I knelt beside him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He remained silent.  
"Dean," I said softly.

"No," he told me, "I'm not letting this happen."

"Dean," I pleaded with him, "they're not going to change their minds."

"They'll cool off," he said to me, "they have to."

"Maybe," I stopped when I saw the expression on his face. "Never mind, go. I'll see if I can talk some sense into your father."

He nodded, got up and walked into the room that Sam was in. I sighed heavily and stared at the room where John was. I made the sign of the cross and rose to my feet. I walked slowly to the door and entered the room.

John was pacing. He was still very angry and he was looking violent.

"Hello John," I called to him.

He stopped in his tracks and stared at me in shock.

"Gee John," I teased, "You might just give a girl a complex."

"When the hell did you get here?" he demanded.

"Oh, I've been here long enough," I said.

"How did you get here?" he frowned at me.

"Dean," I answered.

John stared at me uncomprehending for a moment, "Dean found you?"

I was unsure as to exactly how to answer that particular question. Did Dean find me? I thought of why I chose to go into that bar. Why I had been thinking of them as I entered the bar? Then I thought of the way that Dean hadn't been all that surprised to see me. I closed my eyes and realized what happened.

"Yes," I nodded, "he found me."

"How did he do that?" John demanded.

"Apparently, he's better at finding me than you," I said.

John scowled at me. I sat on a chair in the room.

Then I heard raised voices in the main room of the cabin. I walked out there and found Sam with Dean. Sam stared at me for a moment in awe.   
"How did?" he trailed off.

"What?" Dean demanded.

"How did you manage to find her?" Sam was astonished.

"Don't look so stunned dude," Dean told him, "she's not that hard to find if you put your mind to it."

I raised an eyebrow at that statement. I was always confident that I was very difficult to find. Then I noticed that Sam had his bags in front of him.

"You're leaving, Sammy?" I asked.

"I have to Kelsey," he said.

"I know," I nodded.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Dean stood rooted to the spot and John refused to look at Sam. Sam hugged me fiercely and then picked up his bag and walked out the door. Dean's eyes filled with tears but they didn't spill down his cheeks. His eyes pleaded with me. I turned and followed Sam out the door. I wasn't surprised to see Sam standing at the foot of the steps struggling for control. I decided to sit on the steps and wait for him to speak.

He dropped his bag on the ground and kicked it. He blew his breath out hard.  
"This is a lot harder than I thought it would be," he muttered.

"Leaving isn't that easy Sammy," I said.

Sam shot me an aggrieved look, but I paid him no attention.

"You know, in a normal family, they would be happy that I was going to college!" he spat.

"Well," I shrugged, "your family isn't normal, Sammy."

"I want a normal life Kelsey!" Sam raised his voice.  
I crooked an eyebrow at him.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"Uh – huh," I nodded. "You know Sammy, if you want that normal life, then I'd suggest you stow the attitude."

Sam turned away from me.

"They need to let me go," his voice was strained.

"I know," I agreed, "it makes no sense to keep you with them."

Sam spun to face me at that point, "You are a lot more understanding than I would have thought."

"Don't look so surprised, Sammy," I stood and placed my hands on his chest, he was much taller than me at this point. In fact he towered over his father and brother. He looked down at my hands on his chest.

"No," he stopped speaking.

I realized that there was someone else on the porch. I turned and saw Dean glaring at Sam. I stood between them and felt my heart break. There was so much hurt and pain etched on both their faces. I was amazed at how close they were and yet so far apart from each other.

"So, that's it," Dean said solemnly.

"Yes," Sam clenched his jaw.

"Fine," Dean swung his hands to and fro. "I'll take you to the bus station."

Sam's eyebrow shot upwards. He didn't expect that his brother would take him to the bus station. Then Sam's eyes darkened.

"You're not going to make me change my mind," Sam's voice was firm and low.

"I know," Dean nodded, "I'll take you to the bus station and leave."

Sam's hand shook slightly. I closed my eyes for a moment and then I studied Dean carefully. He was holding everything inside.

"You'll leave?" Sam's voice became shaky.

"Yes," Dean walked down the steps and stood in front of him.

"You're just going to let me go?" Sam said in disbelief.

"Yep," Dean repeated.

He reached down and picked up Sam's bag, slinging it over his shoulders and then he walked to the car.

"Coming Sammy?" Dean called.

Sam stared at me for a moment, "Kelsey."

"If you want me to leave you alone so that you can have that normal life, I will Sammy," I whispered.

"No," a look of horror came into his eyes.  
"What?" I frowned at him.

"You can't take the knowledge of you from us," he shook his head.

"I wasn't planning on," I said.

"No," he stopped me, "I mean I don't want you take any of it."

I stared at him for a moment. He knew that I could do that, but then he was always a smart child. He hugged me and walked to the car. Dean was already in, with the engine running. He shot me a look that conveyed his hurt. When Sam got in, Dean drove off into the night.

I heard John's footsteps on the porch. His eyes were following the car as it drove down the lane.  
"It's not too late John," I whispered.

He gazed at me blankly and then blinked back tears.

"Damn it John!" I exclaimed. "Why not tell your son you love him and that you want him to be happy."

John gripped that railing on the porch. "You know better than anyone what's out there Kelsey."

"Yes," I agreed, "But so does your son."

"He didn't have to," John stopped. "You wouldn't understand."

At that point I walked over to a tree and then changed my mind and went back up the steps and pushed John on the floor. He stared up at me in shock.

"John Winchester," I said quietly, "you have no concept of what I can or can not understand."

"You're not a parent," John disagreed.

"Not a parent?" I was incredulous.

He frowned at me for a minute. "Wait a second, Sister Anthony?"

I was convinced that this man was going to make me rip him limb from limb. Then I realized that it might help him. I threw myself onto the steps, taking great care not to destroy them.

"Sister Anthony," I lowered my head.

"What was so strong about the connection?" he asked.

I rested my head on the railing, and thought back to when I first met her. I smiled at the memory.

"She was born Clara," I told him, "When she was 5 years old, she got lost in the woods. She was tired and hungry. In fact, she was so frightened that she nearly fell down an abandoned well," I chuckled at that memory.

"Well, she saw me in the woods. I like trees. I have always liked trees and she saw me. She came running over to where I was and I stayed with her. She couldn't tell me where she lived, so I held her hand the whole night.

"Then in the morning the searchers found her. I followed her home and from time to time I would visit her. When Clara was 16, her family moved to the city. Her father got a job at a factory and it meant a better life for them. I wasn't there when it happened." I paused because it was painful to continue.

"What happened?" John demanded.

"I can't stop the evil that men do to each other John," I whispered.

"I know," he said, "But what happened?"

"I do other things, and I was elsewhere dealing with a problem, when I sensed that she was in danger. I rushed quickly to where I sensed she was and I found her in an alley. There had been six of them. She was bleeding from the stab wound to her abdomen. I carried her to the hospital and the doctors removed her womb. They treated her, and her family disowned her," I shook my head.

"What!" John was aghast.

"Well, they berated her for walking home through the alley. She clung to life, though, and I stayed with her. In fact, I," I chuckled, "I took a job. A human one, I worked as a typist in a steno pool. I got an apartment and allowed her to finish school. I took her to church every Sunday and when she was 18 and could have gone on the college, she told me that she wanted to become a nun."

John stared at me uncomprehending for a moment. His face creased in a frown as he processed what he was hearing.

"Clara studied under the guidance of Sister Mary Bard. Sister Mary was very helpful to getting Clara to find her way," I explained, "Indeed, together they started a shelter to help people who had been the victims of violent crimes, especially women and children."

John nodded.

"I visited her often and took to calling her Sister Anthony. When she took her vows I was in the back of the church grateful that she had found some peace. There was one night in the shelter when a woman's husband attacked her. Sister Anthony took a baseball bat and struck the man in the head. Fortunately all he needed was about 20 stitches." I laughed at that. "Of course the best part was Sister Mary saying to her, 'Sister Anthony, you don't hit them in the head. Always aim for the knees.' I must admit that I laugh every time I think about that." I sighed.

"She was your child," John said.

I looked at him, "Yes, John. So when she was there on the side of the road and the life left her, I had to let her go." I stood and walked down the steps. I saw the headlights of Dean's car approach. I turned to John, "You have two sons. One has now left you, and the other has stayed."

"Yes," John stood.

"No John," I corrected. "One day, you're going to have to apologize to Dean for what you did to him."

"I haven't done anything," John argued.

"Don't lie to yourself, John," I was solemn. "You'll lose him too."

John's head snapped up.

Dean parked the car and got out slowly. It was obvious that he had been crying. He probably cried the entire drive back to the cabin. John walked back into the cabin and there was the usual sound of things being packed. He stopped in front of me and took my hand.

"I had to let him go right?" Dean's tear filled eyes met mine.

"Yes," I nodded as I stroked his hair.

"This sucks," he spat.

"Your brother needs some time is all," I assured him.

"I've never seen them fight like that before," Dean said.

"It'll be okay," I told him.

Dean stared at me and then nodded. He walked up the steps and entered the cabin. I sighed and sat on a tree stump. Human relationships were complex and volatile. They were also mind boggling in every respect of the word. I waited until they had cleared the cabin. I recognized that I couldn't leave them alone this time. If I did, it would be to see that Sam was fine. I thought of Clara as I often did and knew that Father Bennett had been in part correct. But he didn't know the history that we had shared. No one did, except for one being and I doubted that he would say anything.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

I sat in the car next to Dean as he drove behind John's truck. Dean remained silent as the miles passed. I stared out of the window and thought that the night was an interesting time. Dean turned on the radio. I saw that his tastes in music had not changed. I smiled at that.

"What did you say to my dad?" Dean asked.

"I told him that he had to let Sam go," I answered.

"Yeah? That's not likely to happen," Dean observed.

"Your father loves the both of you," I said.

Dean remained silent. I sat up in the seat and looked at him.

"Dean?" I tried to get a response.

"I'm driving," he said.

I glared at him for a moment, "Don't make me do what I keep threatening to do to your father."

"You won't," Dean replied.

"Oh?" I challenged.

"You love me too much," Dean shrugged, "it's kind of the whole 'mom' thing you got going on."

"Oh really?" I denied.

Dean stole a glance at me, "You can keep denying it, but it's the truth."

I chose to remain silent at that point.

John pulled off the road and Dean followed suit. I wondered where we were headed and then I noticed the junkyard. We were at Bobby's. I got out of the car and saw the dog. I frowned for a moment and wondered what Bobby was doing with a dog. It was a Rottweiler. Bobby came out of the door, with a shotgun in hand. I frowned.

"Dean?" I was a bit nervous.

"It's okay," Dean said. "You haven't been around lately."  
"But Bobby has a shotgun," I remarked.

"Yes," Dean agreed.

I stayed where I was and watched what would happen next. I wasn't sure what had happened since the last time I saw Bobby, but I was now very much afraid for his mental health.

"Kelsey!" Bobby called to me.

I snapped to attention and walked toward him.

"Bobby," I smiled at him.

Bobby handed the shotgun to John and bounded over to me, catching me up in his arms. I returned the hug and continued smiling.

"What's wrong?" Bobby frowned.

"Um, Bobby, what's with the shotgun?" I was worried.

He chuckled.

I didn't find it amusing that he was waving around a shotgun but John and Dean joined in the laughter.

I stepped back from Bobby and surveyed the junkyard. I noted that the dog was not making any movement.

"Is the dog all right Bobby?" I asked.

"Who? Rumsfeld?" Bobby glanced over at the dog.

"Yes," I nodded.

"Oh don't worry about Rumsfeld, everything's fine. Would be barking up a storm if something evil were to come this way," Bobby stated.

"Where did you get the idea?" I wanted to know.

"Actually the dog came from Rick," Bobby grinned.

I opened my mouth and then closed it. I frowned at him for a moment, and then I glared at John. Bobby moved out of my way.

John started as he realized that I was staring at him. He looked around him and Dean erupted in laughter.

"Dad?" Dean grabbed his shoulder.

"She's going to hit me this time," John tried ducking behind Dean.

Bobby moved away, "John, she's certainly threatened you enough times with a shovel."

"I'm not going to use a shovel," I smiled sweetly.

"Now, come on, Kelsey," John pleaded. "It was some time ago."

"You've seen Richard?" I demanded.

"Well, yes," Bobby frowned.

"When?" I asked

"Well he called the other day," Bobby looked perplexed.

I growled softly at John.

John pulled Dean even more firmly in front of him. Dean's hands went up in the air.

"Uh, Dad, I don't think she can inflict that much damage," Dean chortled.

"You've never seen her angry," John muttered.

"Neither have you," I snarled.

Bobby grabbed me, "Now hold on, there's no need to be killing John just yet."

"Yet?" John shrieked, "Whose side are you on?"

"Hers," Bobby nodded.

Dean walked away from his father and sat on the steps, laughing until tears streamed down his face. John stood there horrified.

"Come on Bobby," I pleaded, "I won't kill him. I'll just hurt him a little."

Bobby kept his arms around me, "Now Kelsey girl, there's no need to be that violent with John."

"He sent me to look for Richard and it turned out…" I stopped.

"What?" John and Bobby asked at the same time.

"Nothing," I shook Bobby off.

I was seething but I was not so angry that I was about to reveal the truth of what Richard was, or had been. It was confusing at times to think of Richard and Father Bennett.

I stepped around Bobby and walked up to the dog. Rumsfeld paid me absolutely no attention. I turned and faced Bobby but said nothing. I walked past Dean, patting the top of his head and entered the house. I saw the house had books on every available surface, which made me frown. What was Bobby doing?

I heard footsteps behind me. I turned and saw John eyeing me warily. I turned my attention back to the books that were in front of me. I started to leaf through them and found that they were filled with information on the occult and all manner of supernatural beings. I picked up one particular book and found a chair to sit in.

The book was fascinating to read. Humans who had observed things over the years had written it. What the humans thought and just how wrong they got things intrigued me. I smiled as I read the signs of demon possession. Bobby was certainly being extra cautious, however, I didn't know if this was in part due to Richard's influence or Bobby's paranoia.

I knew that John was watching me intently, but I chose to ignore him just as intently. I was still upset with him and he knew this. He leaned forward as he attempted to grab the book out of my hand. He wasn't prepared for me. I moved swiftly and I used the book to hit on the top of his head. John staggered from the force of the blow and it surprised me that the binding didn't break. He shook his head and then I heard running footsteps. The door flew open and Dean came rushing through. He saw his father and grabbed him.

Bobby was right behind him. He stared at John in shock. He turned to me and I still had the book in my hand. My face broke into a grin.

"Kelsey," Bobby's voice reflected awe, "sweetheart, you didn't."

"I did," my grin widened.

Dean had his arms around his father and John's head was resting on Dean's shoulder.

"You could have given him a concussion!" Dean exclaimed.

"Only if we're lucky," I was unrepentant.

John coughed, "It's my fault."

"Yes it is," I agreed.

"Dad?" Dean was concerned.

"I should have realized that she is very angry," John rued.

"Oh, you should have realized?" Bobby interjected, "What clued you in? The fact that I had to stop her from tearing you to pieces outside?"

"You weren't stopping me," I protested.

"Yes," John spoke up, "I was hiding behind Dean."

"What makes you think that Dean could have protected you?" Bobby was curious.

"She loves him," John leaned back in the chair, "she wouldn't hurt him."

"What makes you say that?" Dean asked as he rose to his feet making certain that his father was not going to fall out of the chair.

"Because if she didn't," John closed his eyes, "damn it Kelsey!"

"What?" I leaned forward.

"I'm still seeing stars," John grunted.

"Well it could be blue birds," I shrugged.

Bobby swallowed his chuckle. "Dean there's a compress in the fridge. That should help him."

Dean left the room to find the compress.

Bobby walked over to John. He opened his eyes and checked him. He shook his head.

"Damn girl, what did you use to hit him?" Bobby asked.

"Just a book," I showed him the book in my hand.

"Books are lethal weapons now?" Dean wondered as he returned with the compress. He handed it to his father, who placed it over his head.

"Well," I smiled at them, "Books not only contain valuable information, but they also can be valuable in terms of that information."

"Oh?" Bobby took the bait.

"Well, the more pages, the thicker the book. The thicker the book, the heavier the book, and in fact, the heavier the book the better it is to hit people who deserve to be hit with."

"Dean," John called to his son.

"Yes Dad?" Dean responded.

"Make sure you double lock the trunk for the Impala," John said.

"Why?" Bobby frowned.

"So that Kelsey can't get to any shovels to finish the job she started with the book," Dean answered irreverently.

"Exactly," John pressed the compress firmly to his head. I merely laughed.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

It didn't take that long for John to recover from the sound blow I gave him. I kept smiling to myself. I hadn't used much strength in pounding him over his head, but it was enough to make John keep a safe distance from me. Dean however was a different story. He kept fairly close to me, but I suspected that was in large part due to the loss of Sam.

Bobby remained cautious. He however had called John to come to the junkyard.

"Well, when John recovers," Bobby said.

"John is recovered," John growled.  
"Hey," Bobby warned, "I'm not the one who hasn't got the good sense to realize how far not to push her."

"Can we discuss my faults another time?" John grumbled.

"Where's Sam?" Bobby demanded.

"It took you this long to notice?" I was surprised.

"No," Bobby answered, "I just figured he might be behind. However, he should have been here already."

"Sam's not coming," John told him.

"Oh?" Bobby frowned.

"Sammy got a full ride to Stanford," Dean replied.

Bobby scratched his chin for a moment. His eyes twinkled at the thought.

"So, Sammy's a college boy," Bobby seemed pleased. "Good for him."

"Good?" John's voice rose slightly.

"Yes John," Bobby challenged.

"He's not safe," John muttered.

"So, it's better that he face what we face?" Bobby uttered in disbelief. He turned to Dean and studied him for a moment. "How bad was the fight?"

"Bad," Dean returned.

"Bad," Bobby looked sad.

"Oh," I spoke at that point, "it was a 'parting of the ways' sort of melodrama."

Bobby chuckled, "Well, John here does tend toward melodrama."

"It's amazing how much they simply butt heads," I observed.

"It's because they're too damn alike," Bobby reasoned.

I then remembered why it was that I liked Bobby so much. He was no fool.

"Are the two of you done dissecting my faults with my son?" John gritted.

"Sons," I corrected.

John glared at me for a moment. Dean turned and looked puzzled. I smiled.

Bobby cleared his throat. "Well, as nice as this all is, I think I'd better explain before Kelsey here decides to hit John with something heavier than a book."

"I'm okay now," I grinned.

Bobby chuckled.

I picked up the same book I held earlier and I observed John wince slightly, which brought another smile to my lips and I simply couldn't resist. "Bobby, you know, this book is awfully strong."

"Why do you say that?" Bobby continued chuckling.

"Well," I attempted to make an innocent face, "I used this to hit John and the binding didn't break."

Dean erupted in laughter and John moved uncomfortably in his seat.

"Well," said Bobby, "I always knew John was hard headed."

"Very funny," John said wryly.

Bobby waited until Dean and I stopped laughing.

"Okay," Bobby said, "Let's get down to business."

"Yes," John stood and then grabbed the chair.

"Kelsey girl," Bobby whistled, "I think you hit him a lot harder than I thought."

"I saw stars, Bobby," John grunted.

"Well," Bobby frowned, "Kelsey, you didn't crack his skull, did you?"

"No," I shook my head, "at least, I don't think so."

"Kelsey!" all three of them admonished.

"Okay, okay," I stood and walked over to John, "let me check."

I grabbed his chin and pulled him forward. I opened his eyes and checked along his head with my fingers.

"Well," I said brightly, "I didn't crack his skull."

"Good," Dean breathed.

"I think I gave him a concussion," I nodded.

"Kelsey!" Bobby cried.

"Well, it's his own damn fault," I defended my actions.

"How long?" Bobby questioned.

"I'll go hunt the thing down," I offered.

"Take Dean with you," John whimpered.

I lowered him back into the chair and looked over at Bobby. Bobby shrugged and threw a map at me.

"What are we hunting?" Dean asked.

"A skin walker," Bobby spat.

I crooked an eyebrow and rounded on Bobby, "Are y'all out of your mind?"

Dean chuckled, "Who've you been hanging around?"

I waved him off for a moment as I glared at Bobby.

"It's okay Kelsey," Bobby placated.

"You can't make me calm down about this," I gritted.

"It's not so bad going up against a skin walker," Dean shrugged.

I rolled my eyes. These humans were after one of those things and then I stopped for a moment, what else had John been taking these boys to hunt? I turned to him.

"Kelsey," John began, "you've already hurt me. You can't want to hurt me any more."

"Your boys are grown, John," I told him.

"I suppose you would have raised them in one place," John grumbled.

I didn't respond but the words cut through me. John stared up at me and tried to grab my hand but I moved away.

"Kelsey," he whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Oh, you will be John," I threatened, "You will be."

I walked out of the door and waited for Dean by the car.

It took him a few minutes to emerge from the house. Bobby walked out of the house with him. He and Dean were deep in conversation and I opted not to listen. However, Bobby kept glancing nervously at me and Dean kept shaking his head. Whatever Bobby said to Dean, Dean kept disagreeing. Dean finally came down the steps and I sat in the passenger seat. Dean stood in front of the car for a moment, then, got into the driver's side. He started the car and drove out of the junkyard.

We headed due east from Bobby's. Dean held the car straight on the road and he was silent for the first few miles. I didn't mind for it gave me a moment to think about what it was that I needed to do. I knew that I was going to have to juggle Sam at Stanford, John and Dean on the road with my responsibilities in Hell. Well, it was a good thing that I wasn't human, or I'd have no idea how I would manage.

"Is he going to be all right?" Dean asked after an hour into our journey.

"Who?" I asked, "Your dad? Yes, fine."

"No," Dean's mouth became a fine line. "Sam."

"Sammy will be fine," I assured him, "It happens all the time Dean. Other people manage to navigate this thing called life."

"Yes," Dean agreed, "but other people don't know what we know."

I pondered on that for a moment. "You know that other people have normal lives in spite of what they know."

"Tell that to my dad," Dean muttered.

"I have," I said pointedly.

"How did that work out for you?" Dean sounded intrigued.

"I hit him with a book," I explained.

"Ah!" Dean grinned. "Well, at least it wasn't the shovel."

"I don't think your father would survive an attack from me with a shovel," I observed.

Dean was silent for a while. I left him to his thoughts.

"Kelsey," Dean spoke.

"What?" I answered absently.

"You haven't asked me anything," Dean sounded puzzled.

"About?" I was curious.

"About why I didn't leave him," Dean explained.

"I don't need to ask you Dean," I replied.

"Why?" he seemed upset.

"Because," I sighed, "You're not about to leave your father in the lurch. Just like how no matter how much your brother aggravates you, you'd never let any harm come to him."

"You do know me," he sounded amazed.

I chuckled, "Yes, Dean, I do."

He turned up the radio and started absently tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

I didn't ask where we were going, because in the end it didn't matter. We were going to face a skin walker. A creature that was notorious for its viciousness and its deviousness. There was also the infectious angle to these creatures. They were descended from the Forbidden infecting humans. Although there was a great deal of human lore as to how they came about, humans had no real idea of the origin of these things. The danger was great and I knew that John expected to have his son back in one piece.

We entered a wooded area that wasn't far from a small town. I frowned at the location. It was too near a habited area for one of them to be present. Something must have driven it close to humans.

"Dean?" I stopped him before he got out of the parked car.

"It's okay," he said.

"No," I frowned.

"It's not going to attack us until we set up in the woods Kelsey," Dean explained.

"Shh!" I quieted him.

"What?" he lowered his voice.

"Listen," I said.

He paused for a moment and listened hard, "I don't hear anything."

"Exactly," I said.

He stared at me for a moment and then looked over at the town across the river. He checked his watch and his eyes darkened.

"Damn!" he exclaimed.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

Dean stared out the window for a moment, and then he pulled out his cell phone. Which reminded me that I had one too. Now if I could only figure out what I had done with it. I frowned for a moment, what was I doing with a cell phone? I wasn't human. I gave myself a mental shake. We were definitely in trouble; well at least Dean was, for I was perfectly fine.

"No signal," Dean muttered, "Damn it!"

"Calm," I warned.

"We can't be calm Kelsey," Dean struggled to maintain a low voice, "you don't understand, we're screwed."  
"No we're not," I told him. "Now if you would just calm down and trust yourself, we'll be fine."

He blew out his breath hard and then calmed down. He gripped the steering wheel tightly while keeping his eyes on the town. There was no movement from it.

He reached behind him and pulled a bag that I hadn't noticed from the back seat. I frowned but said nothing. He rifled through the bag for a moment and then looked back at the way we had come. He was alert and I had to admit that John trained him well. Now he had to use that training without his father there to guide him.

"How good are you in a fight?" Dean asked.

"I can be helpful," I offered.

"But?" Dean sounded like he expected the worse.

"I said that I'd take care of it," I explained.

"What does that mean?" Dean demanded.

"It means," I grabbed his chin, "That I will take care of it."

His eyes narrowed briefly and a fleeting emotion flickered but it was gone before I could figure it out.

Dean pulled open the door and I followed suit. We walked to the edge of the wood and stopped to listen. There was only silence. It was deafening. Dean shrugged and placed the correct ammunition in the weapons. He offered me one, which I declined.

"Kelsey," he whispered, "you're going to need one."

"No," I told him.

"Then how're you going to take care of it?" he sounded upset.

"Never mind," I dismissed.

"You're worse than Dad," he muttered.

"Who said you could insult me?" I teased him.

Dean said nothing.

I stood still and trained my senses to see what was really there. Then I sensed it and I frowned. This was no skin walker. I pulled Dean back.

"Go back and wait in the car," I ordered.

"Kelsey, I can take of myself," he argued.

"Dean," I could tell it was coming closer, "You need to get to the car and wait there."

"Kelsey I'm not leaving you," Dean said stubbornly.

"Oh!" I was exasperated, he was worse than Elkins the first time I ever went hunting with him.

"I'm a good hunter Kelsey," Dean was quiet.

"I didn't say that you weren't," I countered, "But this isn't a skin walker and you can't fight this."

His eyes widened at that statement. Then there was a slight movement to the side of us. I had to move quickly. I grabbed his face and sucked his breath from him knocking him unconscious. I swung him over my shoulder and sped with him to the car. I opened the door and secured him inside. Then I broke off a branch and drew symbols and a protective circle around the car with him in it. Then I heard the footfall and the low growl.

I turned slowly and saw the creature. It was huge and stank of sulfur. It bared its teeth and flexed its claws. It was one of the Forbidden. I glanced at the town across from us and realized what had happened. It was going to be necessary to purge the site. I wasn't looking forward to that with a human hunter in tow, but I had promised John I would keep his son safe. Besides, taking on one of the Forbidden wasn't exactly within the purview of human hunters. I flew into the trees spreading my appendages knowing full well that one of the Forbidden wouldn't be able to resist attacking an angel. It took the bait and followed me into the forest.

I stayed above its head and waited. This would take precision and timing but most importantly it would take patience. I knew that Dean was safe and that fortunately he would have no recollection of anything, however I also knew that I would have to face his anger. I saw the movement out of the corner of my eyes. The Forbidden growled. This one was old, much older than the one that Michael had faced in that churchyard. I wasn't pleased, these older ones were supposed to be chained and for it to be loose meant that it had help. Hellhounds were tame compared to these things, and Hellhounds came from crossbreeding the Forbidden with wolves. Of course, no human knew this, but that was why we had a Keeper of the hounds in Hell. I waited for the creature to make its move.

It leapt up into the tree and I became light so that its claws wouldn't injure me. That threw if off – balance. I unsheathed my sword and sliced it open. It fell to the ground, stunned that it had been so easily taken. I waited and trained all my senses, but there was nothing else. Whatever had been there had long since moved on. I dragged it back down to where it was kept and secured it. I then returned to the surface.

I checked on Dean in the car and he was still asleep. I examined the protective circle and found no attempt to breach it. I therefore crossed the river and walked through the town. It was deserted. There was no sign of anyone present. I checked a newspaper I found in a machine. It was dated two months before. I looked through the entire town and found no trace of life. Whatever had moved through had been exceedingly thorough. I wondered how many were infected by the Forbidden and what they had become. I shook my head and returned to the car. I sat on the hood and waited. Then I heard it, a bird singing.

It gave me some measure of hope. I hopped off the hood and removed the protective circle and I opened the car door. This was the part I wasn't looking forward to. I sighed and returned the part of his breath that I had taken. He coughed and sat forward grabbing the steering wheel for support. His eyes opened and focused on me. Then they changed to anger. That boy had so much anger in him and it was about to be leveled at me.

"What did you do?" he growled.

"What I promised your dad," I explained.

Dean pushed me out of the way as he got out of the car. He narrowed his eyes as he glared at me. The level of anger radiating from him was palpable.

"I know you're upset," I began.

"Upset!" he roared, "You have no idea how upset I am!"

"Being angry at me isn't going to bring Sammy back," I said softly.

"What?" he sounded incredulous. "You think that's why I'm angry?"

"Isn't it?" I asked.

"No!" he screamed, "This is about you simply knocking me out and then putting me away like I'm some child!"

I raised my eyebrows at him. He was upset that I had saved him? That was certainly a surprise. Then I thought about what he said, I had treated him like a child. I then understood.

"Oh," I murmured.

"Oh!" Dean's face purpled.

"You know, you're going to blow a blood vessel if you continue like that," I observed.

"Kelsey!" he struck the top of the car.

"I get it," I attempted to placate him, "you're upset with me because I simply took you to the car and saved your life."

Dean growled at me.

"Okay," I nodded, "you're upset with _**how**_ I took you to the car and saved your life."

Dean grimaced. He was going to be sulky for a bit.

"Look, you couldn't face that," I told him.

"Who are you to decide that?" Dean demanded.

"Hmm… Let me see, someone who knew what was hunting you?" I returned evenly.

"Oh really?" Dean sneered.

At this point I felt like hitting him upside the head, but I knew that I had taken control of things in a manner that hurt his pride. So I calmed down.

"Yes," I answered gently, "look, Pastor Jim fought something similar once and he's never been the same since. You couldn't handle the sight of that thing."

"I've seen plenty," Dean disagreed.

"I'm not disputing that," I touched his shoulder and he didn't back away.

"Then what?" he pleaded.

"Maybe," I touched his hair, "I'm guilty of being too maternal."

Dean flashed a smile at that. He stepped toward me and placed his head on mine, "Don't do that again."

I pulled away from him and studied him for a moment, "So, you're telling me that I should let you die?"

"No," Dean sounded exasperated.

"Then?" I made a face at him.

Dean shook his head, "I'm not going to win am I?"

"Nope," I confirmed.  
Dean walked over to the passenger side and pulled open the door, "Get in the car."

I crooked an eyebrow at him.  
"Look, I don't want to fight with you anymore," he looked defeated.

I got in the car and he slammed the door shut. He got in the driver's side and we began the drive back to Bobby's.

"You know, you're not really that angry with me," I said.

"Drop it," he warned.

"You have to talk to him," I continued.  
"Drop it," he repeated.

"I'm just saying," I glanced at him sideways. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel and pressed on the gas. I decided it was wise to remain quiet after that, after all, I would survive a crash but he wouldn't.


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

We slowed as we approached Bobby's. Dean took his time parking the car, which surprised me. He rested his head briefly on the steering wheel and then got out of the car. I opened my door and nearly knocked him over. I stared at him for a moment quite puzzled.

"You're supposed to wait until I open the door Kelsey," Dean scolded.

I laughed.

The front door swung open and John walked down the steps toward us.

"That was fast," John observed.

Dean stared at John for a moment.

"What's wrong?" John stood straighter.

"Nothing," I offered.

"Kelsey, go inside please," Dean's voice was low.

John raised an eyebrow at me and I stood perfectly still.

"Dean?" John looked at his son.

"Kelsey, this is between us and I don't want you in the middle," Dean turned to me.

I narrowed my eyes for a moment and then I walked into the house. I refused to turn around but I hoped that Dean wouldn't take a leaf out of my book for dealing with John.

Bobby walked out of the kitchen holding a beer and stopped. His eyes widened as he noted that I had entered the house by myself.

"Where?" he asked.

"Dean wanted to speak to his father in private," I explained.

"Dean doesn't have his gun with him does he?" Bobby appeared worried.

"Dean has a gun? Other than the shotgun?" I fidgeted slightly.

"I don't think that Dean will shoot John," Bobby assured me.

"Oh, he's pretty upset," I glanced outside. But they were standing and seemed to be speaking and their voices weren't raised. I hoped that that was a good sign. I felt Bobby's hand on my shoulder and I winced slightly.

"Kelsey?" Bobby sounded alarmed.

"It's nothing," I shrugged.

Then I felt my jacket being pulled and my blouse opened. I stared at Bobby quizzically as he began touching my skin.

"It's only bruised," I said.

Bobby's face was inscrutable.

"What the hell happened?" John thundered.

I spun to face him. I looked behind and saw Dean frowning.

"I don't know," Dean interjected. "She knocked me out."

"She what?" Bobby and John exclaimed at the same time.

"Well," I managed to shrug Bobby off me. "I couldn't exactly let him face that thing now could I?"

"He's not a child," John glared at me.

I placed one on my hip and glowered at John.

"Dad," Dean pulled him back, "leave her alone."

"Why are you defending her?" John turned on him.

"Because as crazy as she is at times, she loves me," Dean explained.

"I am not crazy!" I argued.

"Yes you are," the three of them said at the same time.

I stepped back from them. I couldn't believe that I was hearing this. They were accusing me of being crazy. Then I realized that I must truly be crazy. I was crazy to keep myself around them.

"Kelsey," Dean grabbed my arms.

I was puzzled by his actions. "What is your problem?"

Dean kept a firm grip on my arms. He shook me. "Dean, what is your problem?"

"You need to stay still," Dean gritted.

I shook my head and threw him off me. Bobby caught Dean before he crashed through the chair.

"What is the matter with you?" I demanded.

Then I felt John slice open my skin and pull something out from it. I spun around and saw he held a claw in his hand. My eyes widened in horror. I really had to be more careful when I fought these things. I saw Bobby help Dean to his feet. John marveled at the claw and frowned.

"Be careful," I whispered.

"It's poison?" John asked.

"To you," I answered. "To me it's a mere annoyance."

I walked to the couch and lay down to sleep.

I woke with a start. I had actually slept and felt sheets around me. I looked down and saw that I was also wearing a shirt. I looked around the room. I smelled the sheets. They were clean. I smiled, I never figured Bobby to have clean sheets. The door opened and Dean's head poked in. He smiled and entered the room. He sat on the bed next to me as I sat up in the bed.

"How long?" I asked.

"Three days," Dean replied.

I nodded. I glanced down at the shirt I was wearing and looked up at him with a raised eyebrow.

Dean lowered his head and looked slightly red. I waited.

"It was quite a discussion," Dean admitted.  
"And?" I asked.

"Dad did it," Dean confessed.

I pulled on the shirt, "John wears this?"

"Well, no," Dean sat up straight, "That's my shirt."

"Uh-huh," I nodded.

"Well we…" he trailed off.

"Your father's afraid, is he?" I was curious.

"Well," Dean shrugged, "he figured that if you were going to kill anyone, he's already in your crosshairs."  
I laughed.

Dean's head popped up and he furrowed his brow, "What's so funny?"

"You are," I responded.

"Huh?" Dean looked perplexed.

"I'm surprised that you didn't," I smiled.

"Bobby said that I was the person you were least likely to kill," Dean admitted, "but I…"

"It's hard to face that," I nodded.

He pulled me to him and then released me and walked out of the room.

I stared at the door for a moment and then thought about what happened. The physical body I held had its limitations. It had been through quite a bit. I threw the covers off and placed my feet on the floor. I stood in front of the mirror and pondered about the physical form. I raised the shirt over my head and stared at the body for a moment. The door opened suddenly.

"Damn it Kelsey!" John screamed as he slammed the door shut.

I spun around and stared at the closed door and laughed. I heard the raised voices on the other side of it. I pulled the shirt back down and pulled the door open. John had retreated to the living room. Dean came around the corner. He appeared confused.

"Kelsey?" he asked.

I grinned at him, then, I stepped around him and walked into the living room.

John was swearing quite proficiently. I had no idea he could swear that well. But then again, he had mentioned something about being a soldier, in a marine corps or something like that. He probably served in a war, which meant that he should be quite proficient in that sort of thing. Dean stayed close to me. Bobby sat in his chair and turned to me.

"Kelsey, girl, what did you do to John?" he wondered.

"It's not my fault," I explained.

"Damn!" John thundered.

"Well," I began slowly, "if you had simply knocked then it wouldn't have happened."

"What happened?" Dean and Bobby demanded.

"She was naked," John told them.

I nodded my head in agreement.

Bobby and Dean exchanged a look and started laughing.

"Look, I was the one who changed her and fixed her back," John waved his hand.

"Dad," Dean attempted to stop his laughter, "you've already seen all of her."

"I didn't look," John admitted.

I frowned at that, "Then how did you manage?"

"I didn't look," John repeated.

"Oh?" Bobby grinned.

I sat on the chair. Fortunately for them Dean's shirt caught me above the knees, so it was like I was wearing a short dress.

I was confused by this whole reaction of John's. Dean's mirth got away with him and after a few seconds he couldn't contain his reaction and howled with laughter.

"Son," John admonished, "it's not funny."

"Oh, but it is, Dad," Dean countered. "It is so funny. Wait 'til I tell Sammy."

Then it happened. The mood underwent a lightning shift. Sam was not there. He was not going to be there. Dean stopped laughing and John's expression hardened.

I sat forward and touched Dean. He took the place next to me and we all looked at John.

"You want me to say it, don't you?" John demanded.

"No," Bobby disagreed. "We need you to say it."

"I'm a stubborn bastard and I drove my son away?" John said wryly.

"Close enough," Dean agreed.

"Dean!" I admonished.

"I love him," John said.

"We know that," I placated, "but it was a huge fight. Maybe you should make up with him."

"He's not going to want that," John said.

"How do you know?" I demanded.

"Because it's like Bobby said, they're too much alike," Dean commented.

"Yep," Bobby nodded.

I sighed. They were going to be impossible. "So, I take it that Dean told you what happened?"

"Yes," John said.


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

I sat in the couch next to Dean and stared at John. They were quite calm which made me wonder just what had been discussed during the three days I was asleep. I rested my head on the back of the couch and closed my eyes. They were speaking however I had stopped listening. I jerked awake when I realized that I was being picked up. I stared at John for a moment.

"You really have no sense of self – preservation, do you?" I asked quietly.

He dropped me at that moment.

"Ouch!" I cried.

"Dad!" Dean came back into the room.

"She was about to harm me," John defended his actions.

"I was not!" I exclaimed.

"Yes you were," John countered. "You said that I had no sense of self – preservation."

"Well you don't," I pointed out.

"That's enough!" Dean shouted, "I don't expect to play peace keeper with you and Dad like I had to with him and Sam!"

"Peace keeper?" I frowned at Dean.

He screwed up his face and walked away in a huff. John pulled me up off the floor.

"Hmm, I think he's still upset with me," John observed.

"Really?" I said, "I thought he was feeling better."

John gave me a withering look and walked in the same direction as Dean.

I glanced down at the shirt I was still wearing.

"Hey!" I called after John. "Where are my clothes?"

He didn't turn back. I stopped and thought about it for a moment. I'd never actually put clothes on before. I walked back into the room and stood in front of the mirror. I thought about what I wanted to be wearing. I closed my eyes and then nothing. I opened my eyes and stared at my reflection. I was still wearing Dean's shirt. I frowned at that and tapped the mirror. I shook my head and tried again.

Again nothing happened. I was very confused. I then pulled up the shirt and stared at the body again. I noticed something that was not supposed to be there. It was a belly button. I screamed. There was the sound of feet running as the three men came through the door. They stopped as I still had the shirt up and they stared.

"Kelsey?" Bobby found his voice first.  
I looked back in the mirror and saw it again and screamed. Dean crossed the room first and shook me.

"What's wrong?" he demanded. "Why are you screaming?"

I pointed to the hole that was in my abdomen, "This!"

"Your belly button?" Dean asked.

I nodded as I felt the tears well behind my eyes.

"Kelsey, sweetie," Bobby joined Dean. "Everybody has a belly button."

I stared at my reflection and noticed that I was wearing something gray under the shirt.

"What's this?" I sniffed.

"One of Dean's briefs," John answered.

Dean looked at me for a moment, "Oh yeah. I thought it looked familiar."

I stepped away from them. They couldn't possibly understand. I didn't understand. What had happened? Then I felt my cheeks become wet as the tears streamed down my face. I stopped as I realized that there was no thunder echoing. I was horrified. I thought carefully for a moment. It was the Forbidden. It had to be it. The claw had poison on it. I didn't retain my angelic form. It made me stuck in human form. I screamed again.

"Kelsey, honey," Bobby seemed so lost as to what to do. "You have to stop screaming."  
"You don't understand!" I shrieked.

"That for some reason you're human?" John suggested.

I stopped crying completely at that point. I narrowed my eyes and stalked past him. I knew that they were following me and I walked to the back of the kitchen. I opened the door and the dog stared at me puzzled. I shook my head and marched to where I had seen a shed. It was open. I looked for the biggest shovel in the shed. I pulled it forward and dragged it behind me. I tried to lift it and fell over. They had stopped inside the house and eyed me with fear. John disappeared behind the door and Dean walked outside.

"Kelsey," he took the shovel from me.

"There has to be a lighter one around somewhere," I muttered.

"Kelsey," Dean placed the shovel on the ground and grabbed me.

"I'm not going to kill him. I can't lift it." I was quite upset.

"Why don't we get something to eat?" Dean suggested.

"I'm not in an eating mood," I glared at him.

"I understand you're upset," Dean had his face level with mine. "Look I went out earlier, I got clothes for you."

I stood straighter, "Shoes?"

He smiled, "Yep, shoes too."

"Okay," I said. I really liked shoes.

I followed Dean back into the house. John was already outside with Bobby. I realized that he was hiding from me. Not that I blamed him, because I was ready to tear to him pieces. I wondered how long this was going to last. Then something occurred to me.

"Dean?" I stopped him.

"Hmm?" he responded as he got the clothes he had picked up.

"How did you know about the shoes?" I was curious.

"Well, when you were unconscious for the three days," Dean explained, "We called Father Bennett."

"He was here?" I was stunned.

"He and Dad had a long conversation about you," Dean shrugged.

"Oh?" I pursed my lips.

Dean laughed when he saw my expression, "Come on, have a bath and then we'll get something to eat."

I frowned at Dean for a moment. He was being quite solicitous. Which meant that he was up to something. I took the things from him and returned to the room. I placed the bag with the clothes on the bed. They were certainly complete down to the under garments. I checked and unfortunately there was dental floss masquerading as panties; I made a mental note to get more of Dean's boxers. I looked at the bras and fit them on and made a mental note to flay John the moment I was myself again. Then I saw some other things, which made my eyebrows go up. I tapped the box and wondered. It was my own fault, but I doubted that I had to worry. I had a belly button, but I doubted that I had the other equipment. I prayed that I didn't have the other equipment.

I entered the bathroom and saw that a bath was drawn. I had taken a bath a few times when I had lived with Clara. I smelled Lavender and realized that she must have told Father Bennett everything, which would also explain his knowledge about the shoes. I got into the bath and was again amazed at how clean the place was. I wouldn't have thought it, but there it was.

I closed my eyes and thought of a lot of things. I wondered how long I was going to be stuck like this. Then I sensed it. So, my senses weren't completely gone. I opened my eyes and saw Micah perched on the sink. I threw the rag at him. He smiled.

"I always knew that you were perverted," I teased.

"Well," Micah shrugged. "It's you so it doesn't count."

"What happened?" I asked.

"You know what happened," he returned.

"I fought the Forbidden and it turned me human?" I was still in disbelief.

"Well, it was a bit more complicated than that," Micah stated.

"What do you mean?" I felt a shiver run through me, "I'm stuck as a human?"

"No," Micah chuckled. "You'll get your true nature back. It's just that you sort of did something."

I frowned and then my eyes widened. I hit my forehead and growled.

"Of course," I splashed the water for good measure, "Dean."

"Dean," Micah nodded.

"So, how long is the punishment going to last?" I pressed.

"It's not punishment Denri," Micah told me.

"It isn't?" I sat forward.

"No," he shook his head.

I was now completely confused. It had to be punishment. Micah came forward and sat on the edge of the bath.

"The poison took hold," Micah continued. "When you took your angelic form to fight, you had part of Dean's essence in you."

I was so stupid. But then it was his fault, he was arguing with me at the time and I had to move quickly.

"I was trying to save his life," I pouted.

"Yes," Micah agreed, "And you nearly died in the process."

I remained silent.

"Denri," Micah touched my cheek, "That particular Forbidden has wounded every angel it has battled. In fact, none have ever recovered and have in essence died."

I covered my ears and shut my eyes. I felt when he removed my hands gently so as not to hurt me.

"I may never be what I was," I sniffed.

"I don't know," Micah admitted.

I stared at him for a moment and said nothing. He brushed the top of my head with his lips. "Don't worry," he whispered and then vanished.

I placed my chin on my knees. This was not an easy thing to face. I was human which meant that I had to be more careful and because I was still with these particular humans I was going to be under even more scrutiny. I sighed. I heard the door open and I turned and saw John's hand waving at me.  
"Yes?" I asked slightly amused.

"If you're not going to kill me," he said behind the door. "Are you ready to come out now?"

"I'll be out soon," I said.

He pulled the door shut. I leaned back in the tub and looked at my skin. Well everything happens I was always told by Sister Mary Bard for a reason. I wondered what she would think of this event. It was then that I missed Clara terribly. She would have been amused and taken great pleasure in this new turn of events. I stepped out of the bath and got dressed.


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

I pulled the jeans over my hips and slipped the top on as well. I gazed at my reflection and then there was a brief knock on the door.

"It's okay," I called.  
The door pushed open and Dean entered the room. He stared at me for a moment. I turned to him.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," he shrugged.

"Liar," I retorted.

He grinned at me. He picked up a plaid shirt and handed it to me. I stared at it uncomprehending for a moment.

"You wear it over that," he waved as he sat on the bed.

I shrugged and put it on over the top that I already wore.

"We dress in layers," Dean explained.

"Oh?" I nodded. "Because it's safer."

Dean chuckled, "No. Because it's cold."

I frowned at him for a moment. I understood the concept of cold.

I finished buttoning the shirt and stood in front of him.

"Well?" I asked.

"Eh," Dean shrugged. "Looks good enough."

I made a face at him and he laughed.

Dean stood, "Come on, let's get something to eat."

I was a bit apprehensive at the prospect of eating.

"Don't worry," Dean assured me. "You don't have to eat more than you think you can."

I took a deep breath. I was going to have to face this at some point I reasoned.

We joined Bobby and John in the kitchen, however there was another person, Father Bennett. I smiled when I saw him and wrapped my arms around him.

"I never expected you to join me," he whispered.

"We'll talk later," I whispered in turn.

Father Bennett nodded in agreement and we sat at the table. I stared at the food on the table. It was pizza. I remembered pizza was a favorite of Sister Anthony. I felt the sadness threaten to overwhelm.

"It's okay," Father Bennett said.

"Aren't you glad I'm human?" I sniffed.

"Yes," Father Bennett nodded. "Now the poor people won't be at the mercy of raging flood waters."

"What?" Dean was puzzled.

"It's okay," Bobby grabbed a slice of pizza. "There are things which we will never understand."

I took a slice and bit into it. At least I had had some experience with food, but this was very different.

Bobby, Dean and John soon fell into conversation about the next hunt they had planned to embark on and Father Bennett was soon drawn into their discussions. I wasn't particularly interested and wandered outside. I found Rumsfeld sitting on the hood of a junked car. I climbed up beside the dog and leaned back on the windshield. I heard when the door opened and sat forward. It was Father Bennett. He joined me where I was.

"Want to discuss this Denri?" he asked.

"I think you better stick to Kelsey," I said.

"Kelsey," Father Bennett mulled it over for a moment. "I suppose that's the way it should be."

"Yes," I nodded. "I don't want you slipping."

"It's not like they'd be able to summon with the correct name," Father Bennett frowned.

"I'm not taking any chances," I grumbled.

"You'll get used to it," his face brightened.

"Micah isn't sure how long this will last," I told him.

"Micah?" Father Bennett sat up straight.

"Yes," I nodded. "Micah came to me."

He was quiet for a moment. There was something that bothered him.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Micah is in contact with you?" he demanded.

"Yes," I was puzzled by his reaction.

Father Bennett stood and walked a short distance from me. I sat forward and watched him feeling even more perplexed.

Father Bennett returned.

"I know that we discussed that you were still basically an angel," he said.

"Yes," I agreed, recalling that particular conversation.

"But, I didn't think that you were taking orders from Michael," he murmured with barely disguised hatred.

"I'm not," I contradicted. I had forgotten that he and Michael were enemies. I had thought that once Father Bennett had taken human form that he would have left behind the enmity he felt when he was still one of the Fallen.

"You're not?" his eyes darkened.

"No," I assured him.

He lapsed into a few moments of silence.

"Kelsey," he spoke softly. Though there was hint of anger underlying his voice. "If you're not taking orders from Michael. Then _**who**_ are you taking orders from?"

I stiffened. It would be difficult to refuse to answer his question, but I had no choice.

"I can't tell you that," I answered.

"You are human now," Father Bennett said pointedly.

"Yes," I agreed. "And yet, I still can't tell you."

"Why must it still be a secret?" he demanded.

"Because it is," I shrugged.

"No," his voice became cold with anger. "I won't accept that for an answer."

I stared at him for a moment and assessed him. I had never in all the time I had known him, feared him. Yet now was different, it was as though he was again that angel who fought fiercely and was filled with anger and contempt. However, I was not in a position to protect myself. Perhaps what had kept me safe was the fact that I had retained my angelic state, but now, we were both human and he had the advantage of being both bigger and stronger.

"Do you honestly think that any of those three men in that house or this dog on this car will allow you to harm me?" I asked him, playing the only card I had in an attempt to quell his anger, which was an obvious sore from the Great War. The dog lifted its head and then lowered it, for a calming hand had been laid.

"They might not be quick enough," Father Bennett smiled coldly.

"Micah is also here," I nodded behind him.

Father Bennett spun around and was faced with Micah. He backed away from him.

"I don't understand," he stammered.

"You aren't supposed to," Micah answered.

"No human is to be closely watched or interfered with," Father Bennett quoted.

"She's not human," Micah countered. "She is simply trapped in human form."

"Yes, that's what it is…" I grumbled. "Trapped."

Father Bennett stood still, "You can't hurt me."

"Are you sure?" Micah asked.

Father Bennett stayed perfectly still, however, he looked very uncertain.

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

"It's okay," I said. "After all, you felt that you had to press the advantage. Especially after you found out about the belly button."

Micah started at that and then smiled, "I'll see you."

"Knock before you come into the shower," I called after him.

Father Bennett unclenched his hands and I hadn't even realized that they had been.

"Were you going to engage in fisticuffs?" I asked.

"Fisticuffs?" Father Bennett's eyes widened.

"Or is it pugilism?" I wondered.

He ran his hand over his face, "I'm going back inside."

"I don't forget," I warned.

"I know," he returned.

"I'm also not the one who forgives," I reminded him.

"I know," he repeated. His steps were heavy as he returned to the house. He took a gamble and lost. I suppose if I had been in his position I would have wanted to know.

I lay back on the car. Rumsfeld jumped off the car and found another one to sleep on. I saw John appear out the back. He seemed to be looking for something and then he came in my direction. He stopped before me.

"You're not sleeping out here," John said firmly.

"You know," I said. "Just 'cause I can't lift the shovel does not mean that you can speak to me like a child."

John sighed, "I wish you wouldn't fight me."

"I seem to recall that we've had this conversation before," I said. "Hmm, let me think, oh yes, when Dean was 17."

"You were out to sleep on a car that night too," John muttered.

"Yes," I agreed. "But this time I'm not in doubt as to what has happened on the hood of the car."

"I don't think that Dean…" John trailed off.

I laughed and saw when John's face fell. He turned and stomped into the house. I stayed still for a moment and then remembered John's temper. I jumped off the car and ran into the house.

Bobby was standing between the two of them and I noticed that Father Bennett was no longer there.

"What the hell did you say to him?" Bobby demanded.

"Who?" I was confused.

"To John," Bobby looked at me as though I had lost my mind.

"Nothing," I answered. "I was simply arguing with him and said something I shouldn't have."

"See?" John glared at Dean.

"See?" Dean repeated. "I see nothing. She was simply trying to win the argument."

"Kelsey!" John commanded.

"I've told you about how you speak to me," I snapped.

"Kelsey," John softened his voice slightly. "Why do think that Dean has had…"

"What?" Dean demanded.

I stared at John for a moment and then laughed. Bobby's frown deepened and Dean seemed even more lost than before.

"Why are you laughing?" John asked.

"John Winchester, you're completely impossible," I said.

"Why is that?" he pressed.

"Well, did I actually say anything?" I asked.

He stopped and thought. He then walked over to the nearest chair and sat.

"You know," he muttered. "I hope that whatever caused this fixes itself soon."

"It's not entirely my fault," I said.

"Oh?" John glared at me with a murderous expression on his face.

"You're the one who can make anyone contemplate murder as easy as breathing," I smiled at him.

Bobby suddenly pulled me behind him. "Dean, take Kelsey for a drive."

"What?" we both declared.

"Now," Bobby stared directly at Dean.

Dean nodded and walked out of the room. He returned in less than a minute wearing a coat and he put me in one as well. I obviously wasn't wearing enough layers. He dragged me out of the house and put me in the car. He directed the car down the road.

"Are we going somewhere?" I asked.

"Nope," Dean replied.

"Look, I didn't mean…" I stopped.

"I know," Dean shook his head. "Look Dad can be a hard ass at times."

"Okay," I said.

"You're going to be with us until this thing with you is fixed," Dean stated.

"You've been making decisions for me?" I was mildly incensed.

"You're not used to this," Dean said. "This is a whole different thing for you. We'll sleep better knowing that you're safe."

"I could stay with Bobby," I suggested.

"No," Dean disagreed. "It's better with us."

I didn't press him any further.


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42

We drove for several minutes in silence. I was quite curious as to why Bobby had kicked us out of the house and realized that there must be something else going on. Dean pulled over to the side of the road and turned off the engine. I frowned at him.

"Um," he began staring at the road ahead.

"Yes?" I was curious.

"When I went into the room to grab my jacket, I noticed that my things were rifled through," he stared at me.

"Yes," I encouraged him to continue.

"Kelsey," Dean's eyes narrowed. "Did you go through my things?"

"Yep," I admitted.

Dean seemed surprised at my forthrightness.

"What were you looking for?" he asked.

"Underwear," I told him.

Dean raised an eyebrow, "Underwear?"

"Underwear," I nodded.

"Kelsey," he sighed, "I bought you underwear."

I sat for a moment and thought of the pieces of dental floss that were masquerading as underwear.

"You bought dental floss," I stated.

"It's what women wear," he disagreed.

"No," I shook my head.

"Kelsey," Dean struggled to keep his voice calm. "All the women I've been with…" he paused, "Stop rolling your eyes."

"Well, I'm sure the list must be exhaustive," I countered.

"Yes, well, that's not the point," his exasperation was breaking through, "it's what women wear."

"I'm not wearing it!" I declared.

"Ugh!" he screamed, "Why do you have to be so damned difficult!"

"Who told you that that was the best thing to buy?" I demanded.

"The girl in the store was very helpful," Dean explained.

"Oh?" I sat forward. "And did you get her number? I mean between her obviously flirting with you, while you were buying your mom underwear?"

Dean sat perfectly still. He screwed up his face in thought and then he sighed.

"Okay," he conceded. "Perhaps it was not in keeping with what I would buy for my mother. But Kelsey, you don't look like anyone's mom at the moment."

"Dean," my voice dropped in temperature. "Stop inciting me to violence."

He laughed, "Okay, okay, I'll behave."

I thought about Dean behaving and didn't think it possible. Since we were on the topic of the clothing, I did wonder about something.

"Dean," I smiled brightly. "How did you know what size to buy?"

"Dad and I took your measurements and Bobby wrote them down," he answered.

"You measured me?" I was in awe.

"Well," Dean pursed his lips. "Yeah, we measured you."

"Hmm," I paused for a moment. "Did you treat me like a piece of wood or a person?"

Dean gave me a withering look and I started laughing. The ringing of the phone cut the conversation short.

"Yeah," Dean answered his phone. "Uh – huh. Okay."

He then started the engine, made a u – turn and returned to Bobby's.

He parked the car and we got out to see Bobby waiting on the porch. I walked up to him and stopped. He placed his hand on my shoulder and nodded to Dean. Dean frowned but walked inside. Bobby took me by the hand and led me to the railing. I sat and waited for him to speak.

"I don't pretend to understand what's going on," Bobby said. "But I think it's time you came clean."

"About?" I asked.

"About why you're human?" Bobby frowned at me.

"Is this what you and John have been fighting about?" I questioned.

"In part," Bobby admitted. "He figures that you'd answer my questions more readily than his."

"I don't know why his wife was killed Bobby," I stated firmly.

Bobby nodded and appeared grave, "Yes, but you have a suspicion."

"Maybe," I confessed.

"Let's deal with things first," Bobby fixed me with a steely gaze.

"Why am I human?" I repeated his question.

"Yep," Bobby replied. "And don't try to con me."

I smiled at that. "I'm human because I saved Dean."

"That makes no sense girl," Bobby prodded.

"It's the truth," I insisted.

Bobby studied me for a moment, "The truth?"

"It's the truth," I nodded my head vigorously.

Bobby gnawed on his bottom lip and ran his hand over his jaw. He stood and walked inside the house.

I sat there on the railing and thought about what I had told him. I spoke the truth about what caused me to be human. He didn't believe me, but that was to be expected. Humans rarely expected the truth from anyone or anything. I knew demons that religiously spoke the truth because they knew that they would never be believed. After all, demons lie.

I got to thinking over what had happened though. I had taken part of Dean's essence into myself. I had not considered the possibility of my succumbing to the Forbidden. What would have happened to Dean if I had been completely destroyed? He would have been in that car, alone and unable to wake. I closed my eyes for a moment. I almost killed him. Yes, it was true that at the time I was trying to save him but it didn't detract from the fact that I had almost killed him.

Dean's death would have buried me in terms of guilt. He was too much like Clara in terms of my affections. Clara could call me to her when she truly needed me. I could hear her voice on the wind. I had heard Dean's voice but hadn't recognized the pull. I was so busy trying to put everything behind me in terms of the crippling pain that I had failed to recognize the call. I had bonded with him, the same way I had bonded with Clara. The compassion felt for a young child was a powerful binding agent. I was not that connected to Sam though. I had heard him crying at times, but he couldn't call me the way that Dean could. I suspected it had to be interference of the bonding with the spawn.

I stared at the night sky and thought that perhaps I should make my way to another place. I was human now, but that was a temporary condition. Had Sister Anthony been alive I would have gone to stay with her. I stopped my in tracks. Of course, I could go to the Mother House. It was in San Francisco and it would take me about a week to hitchhike from Bobby's but I would be welcomed there. Sister Mary Bard was there. I didn't recall seeing her at the funeral. However I could be forgiven for that one, for I had paid scant attention to the mourners. There was a way to reach her. I scrunched my face as I forced my brain to remember the number.

I jumped off the railing and rushed down the steps. I sped to the gate when suddenly I was pulled off my feet. I swung my face around and saw a very irate John holding me.

"You're impeding my progress," I told him.

"Your progress?" John's voice was deadly calm.

I shuddered involuntarily, then, I decided to be brave. "Yes, I'm going somewhere."

"And just where would that be?" John placed his nose an inch from mine.

"Put me down," I said.

"Where are you going?" his voice became harsh.

"I said to put me down John," I fought the anger I felt rising within me.

"Oh?" John dropped me.

"Ow!" I sat on the ground and rubbed my tailbone.

"John!" Bobby bellowed. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" He came from behind us.

I frowned and wondered just how long they had been there. When had they left the house? I remained on the ground.

"I'm trying to find out where she's going," John gritted.

Bobby pulled me to my feet. "Damn it John, you could have hurt her."

"She's not human," John reminded him.

"She is right now," Bobby argued. "Or has her belly button vanished?"

I looked down and proceeded to check. It was still there. John and Bobby sucked in a deep breath. John then began chuckling and Bobby grinned. I had read about mood disorders once when I was bored. I wondered if they were suffering from it, with these lightning shifts in moods they both experienced.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Dean. He pulled down my shirt and shook his head.

"Why is her shirt up?" Dean asked them.

"I'm right here," I kicked him.

Dean was surprised and glared at me for a second. "Okay, why was your shirt up?"

"I was checking to see if I still had the belly button," I explained.

"Why?" Dean looked as though he really didn't want an answer, but I was too upset with John.

"Because Bobby asked your father if I still had my belly button," I told him.

Dean crooked his eyebrow at his father. John glared at Bobby and Bobby merely looked closely at a piece of scrap metal.

"She's not human," Bobby whispered. "She's just stuck in human form and that means that we have to be careful."

"No," Dean disagreed. "She's human all right. Only a human woman could be that aggravating and sweet at the same time."

"I'm not sweet," I retorted. "Human flesh tastes foul. Ask any shark and it'll say that human flesh is the worst thing ever."

"Kelsey," Bobby stared at me with a mixture of awe, shock and horror. "How do you know that?"

"I read," I confessed.

"She reads," John nodded. "She reads. Oh good grief, she reads."

I tugged on Dean's shirt, "Is your father well?"

"No," Dean replied.

"What's wrong with him?" I wanted to know.

"Well, he's suffering from acute Kelseyitis," Dean told me.

"What?" I frowned.

"You're getting to him," Dean explained.

"Ah," I nodded. "No, I don't understand. But, never mind I'll figure it out." I waved him off.

John stepped away from us and Bobby followed him speaking in low tones. Dean jerked his head up and went over to them. I stood there and watched the three of them become engrossed in the quiet discussion. Then it hit me. They were preoccupied and the gate was right there. I took a tiny step and stopped. They didn't notice that I had moved. I took another step and they still didn't notice. I moved quickly through the gate and took off down the road at a full run.

I ran for about ten minutes until I saw the pay phone. I had some quarters in my pocket and quickly inserted the coins and punched the number. I waited for the line to connect.

"St. Theresa's Mother House," the crisp voice on the other end sounded.

"May I speak with Mother Mary Bard?" I asked.

"May I say who's calling?" the voice asked.

I paused for a brief moment, "Tell her, it's Catherine."

"Catherine?" the voice was terse.

"Clara's Catherine," I expounded.

"One moment," the voice said.

I waited for a few seconds, all the while checking to see if I had been followed.

"Catherine?" Sister Mary's voice was cheery.

"Sister Mary, might I visit you?" I asked.

"Of course," she replied.

"I'm so happy…" I stopped as a hand pressed the cradle button. I spun and saw that the hand belonged to Dean. I tried to use the receiver to hit him but he simply took it out of my hand and dragged me out of the phone booth, slung me over his shoulders and dumped me unceremoniously into the car. He started the engine and returned to Bobby's.


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

I sat in the car in mutinous silence. I couldn't believe that this _**child**_ had disconnected my call and carted me into the car like my wishes were of little consequence.

"What the hell are you thinking?" Dean demanded.

"Me?" I couldn't believe my ears.

Dean pulled over to the side of the road. I sat still in the seat.

"You're vulnerable now," he snapped.

"Hey," I warned. "Watch your tone with me."

Dean rolled his eyes, "You scared us."  
"Dean," I said quietly, "I've been taking care of myself for a very long time. I know what I'm doing."

"You've never been human before," he pointed out.

I sat back in the seat. He was right, but that didn't mean that I had let him know that. After realizing that I had no intention of answering him any further, Dean started the car and continued to Bobby's.

He parked the car and I saw John and Bobby waiting. The door was yanked open before Dean shut off the engine. I was roughly pulled out of the car.  
"John," Bobby pulled me out of John's arms.

"I just want to make sure she's all right before I kill her!" John thundered.

"I was just down the road making a call," I said quietly.

"Who the hell were you calling?" John screamed.

"Someone," I was evasive.

Dean glared at me. He rested his elbows on the top of the car and Bobby pulled me out of John's grip and placed me behind him.

"John," he said calmly, "she's bound to know people."  
"Speaking of which," John grumbled, "what happened with you and Father Bennett?"

I widened my eyes in shock, "Nothing."

"Nothing?" John frowned. "I asked him and he couldn't look me in the face. And you aren't acting normal."

"What's normal?" I asked.

Bobby shook his head and patted my head. I moved my head from under his hand. I was not going to be pandered to by these humans. I walked up the steps and sat fuming.

The three of them stared at me for a moment, and then they began an earnest whispered conversation. John and Bobby walked past me and entered the house while Dean sat beside me. I turned my back to him. Dean chuckled.

"You can't stay mad at me forever you know?" Dean placed his hand on my shoulder.  
I moved away from him and focused my attention on the railing. Dean sighed and settled on the steps he leaned back with his head on the top step, as I watched him from the corner of my eye.

Dean said nothing. He merely waited. I knew that game for I had played it often. He had learned it well. I also understood the divide and conquer tactic, however, I was not cooperating with them. I was far too upset.

"You going to stop pouting now?" Dean asked finally.

I refused to answer.

Dean sighed and stood. He swung his arms back and forth. I figured that he was giving up and leaving me alone. He bent his knees and I was hoisted into the air. I screamed as he held me upside down. John and Bobby came rushing back outside.

"Dean!" John was stunned at what his son was doing. "You might hurt her."

"I doubt it," Dean retorted.

"Put me down!" I demanded.

"So you going to talk to me now?" he asked.

"If I say no, does this mean that you'll keep me upside down?" I replied. I could feel the blood rushing to my head and I felt faint.

He swung me up into his arms and placed me firmly on the ground. I took two steps and then fell.

Bobby rushed forward and patted my face. He shook his head and then helped me stand. I felt dizzy.

"You know, eating half a slice of pizza isn't food Kelsey," Bobby said quietly.

"I don't like food," I muttered.

"I understand sweetheart," Bobby smiled. "But you're human now and you have to eat."

I looked at him crossly. I certainly wasn't going to eat when it felt like everything was upside down and ready to rebel.

"Come on," Bobby pulled me inside and placed me in front of the table. I eyed the food with suspicion.

Dean sat in front of me and watched me for a moment, "It's not poisoned."

"Humph!" I snorted.

Dean chuckled and grabbed a slice of the now ice cold pizza. Bobby dragged John to the table and they all continued eating. I remained stonily silent.

"Kelsey," Bobby said gently. "Please darling, you have to eat."

"No," I answered stubbornly.

"You'll get sick," Bobby's voice held a note of exasperation.

"Then maybe I'll die," I nodded.

"Being human isn't so bad," Bobby sighed.

My head snapped up and I narrowed my eyes at him. That was a loaded statement coming from him. As far as I knew Bobby was born human, so it stood to reason that perhaps Richard told him about angels becoming human.

"It's not that simple," I returned evenly.

Dean crooked an eyebrow at me. He stood and placed a slice of pizza on a plate and walked out of the room. I was confused by his actions. He returned and placed the plate in front of me.

"Kelsey," he said in a low voice, "I'm only going to say this. Eat."

"I told you," I stopped speaking when I saw the look in his eyes. I had never noticed how cold his eyes could turn when he was truly angry. But then again, Dean was a master at repressing his emotions so it stood to reason that I would never have seen it before. I picked up the slice of pizza, blew on it and put in my mouth.

"Chew," was the single command.

I really hate food. I can't understand the need for it. However, if I were to remain human, I would have to eat and deal with the other unpleasant sides to being one.

John ate slowly and deliberately. He watched me carefully. Finally I could take no more of it.

"John Winchester, if you have something to say, say it," I declared.

John placed his food on the plate and stared directly at me. "You'll lie."

"About?" I asked.

"Everything," he said.

I picked up the plate only to have it snatched out of my hand by Dean. I glared at him and he shook his head.

"You know," John observed. "You are a very violent creature."

"Well, I have always marveled at your ability to incite anyone to violence," I retorted.

John smiled.

I toyed idly with the bottle in front of me. I took a sip and gagged.

"Bobby!" I cried.

"What?" he started.

"This thing is vile," I said.

"It's beer," Bobby appeared confused.

"It's vile," I repeated.

"You've had beer before," Bobby told me.

"Well," I pushed the bottle away from me. "I didn't actually taste it."

The three of them stared at me in shock. I stopped speaking.

"You mean that you've not been drinking the beer?" Bobby whistled.

"No," I countered. "It's just that I didn't taste it."  
"Why not?" Dean was curious.

"I'm betting that she didn't actually have taste buds," John surmised. "It wouldn't be useful in a being that didn't need to eat."

"She has to eat now," Bobby stated.

"Yes," John nodded. "And she's hating the fact that she has to."

"I'm just stubborn that way," I snapped.

"No," John took a swig from his bottle. "You're just not coping with this change very well."

"Then let me go," I pleaded.

"No," John refused.

"I don't see why I can't be left to go my own way," I pouted.

Bobby sighed heavily and brought a pie to the table. I frowned at it for a moment.

"I can still cook," I said.

"Well," Bobby grinned. "That can be tomorrow."

I shrugged.

"We can't let you go," Dean said quietly.

"Why not?" I demanded.

"Because you're human now," John reminded me. "You're our responsibility."  
"Since when?" I was stunned.

"Since you became human," John muttered.

I jabbed at the slice of pie in front of me. It was blueberry. It actually tasted nice. I pushed the beer bottle toward Dean.

"You're not saying anything," John commented.

"I like this blueberry pie," I said.

John pounded his head on the table. Dean and Bobby erupted in laughter.

"Of all the abilities she had to retain…" John trailed off.

"Yep," Bobby agreed. "She's still a smartass."

I looked at the pie.

"You won't fit into your jeans if you eat the whole thing," Dean warned.  
"Then I'll just wear yours," I smiled.

"Kelsey," Dean sounded exasperated. "You're already wearing my briefs. Now you want my jeans?"

John's head came up, "She's what?"

"She's wearing my briefs," Dean told them.

"Didn't you buy her any under garments?" Bobby eyed Dean suspiciously.

"Of course I did," Dean became defensive.

"Then why is she wearing your briefs?" John asked.

"'Cause he bought me dental floss," I told them.


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

"Dental floss?" John looked incredulous.

I pushed away from the table, walked into the room and brought back the pieces of dental floss that Dean had purchased. I dropped them in front of John, who looked at them uncomfortably.

"Dean?" John asked.

"The girl in the store said these were good," Dean shrugged.

"Did you call her?" I questioned.

Bobby chuckled, "Um, John?"

"It's okay," John said. "We'll deal with it."  
"Really?" I grinned.

"Yes," John said. "We'll just take you shopping."

"Hmm… I'd rather get a job," I nodded.

Dean's face clouded for a moment. "You?"

"I've done it before," I nodded. "It's amazing what can be accomplished these days."

"You probably couldn't work a computer," John muttered.

I sat in the chair and said nothing. I wanted to go to San Francisco. Perhaps they would let me go if I actually told them.

"Okay," I sighed.

"What?" the three of them sat up alert.

"I'll tell you who I was calling," I looked away.

"Who?" John sounded curious.

"I was calling St. Theresa's in San Francisco," I confessed.

They didn't respond. I glanced at them and saw the disbelief written clearly across their faces.

"It's true!" I cried, "Dean hung up on Sister Mary."

"Who is Sister Mary?" Bobby frowned.

"She and Sister Anthony were friends," I explained.

"Sister Mary Bard's still alive?" John demanded.

"Well, she's Mother Superior Mary Bard now," I clarified.

Dean leaned forward and stared at me for a moment, "You know an awful lot of religious types."

"I also seem to know a lot of hunters," I retorted.

"Makes a man wonder just how many other types she knows," Bobby mused.

I folded my arms across my chest. The jangling of the phone broke through the tense calm that had settled in the room. Bobby went to answer it.

Dean tapped my arm and brought my attention to him, "Do you know how to use a computer?"

"Yes," I said. "There's a lot of information stored on the Internet. There's stuff like you wouldn't believe."

Dean chuckled, "Do I want to know?"

"Nope," I answered.

"Didn't think so," he grinned.

Bobby returned looking solemn, "Uh, guys, you need to head to out to Oakdale."

"What's there?" John asked.

"That was Caleb," Bobby said. "He caught wind of an orphanage with a string of deaths. From the reports it looks like it could be a ghost killing children."

Dean and John pushed away from the table. I remained seated.

"You coming?" Dean asked.

"No," I replied.

He rolled his eyes and walked out of the room.

Bobby studied me for a moment. He stood and followed the others out of the room. I sat in the chair and stared at the table. I stood and cleared the table while the others were busy having their conversations and planning their hunt. I continued making my way through the mess that was the kitchen. I cleaned every surface thoroughly and while I did that, they each in turn checked on me. I ignored them.

When I was finished cleaning the kitchen I moved through to the room I occupied. I stopped when I entered the room. Everything was gone. I spun in the room and frowned. I heard the step behind me; I turned and saw Dean standing with a grim expression on his face.

"What?" I demanded.

"You can do this two ways," Dean intoned smoothly. "Either you walk on your own two legs or you get carried."

I balked such a blatant threat. "Surely I have some choice in the matter."  
"No," Dean smiled coldly.

I folded my arms and stood my ground.

"Everything has to be so difficult," Dean muttered as he simply bent his knees, grabbed my legs and swung me over his shoulders.

I shrieked my protests but they were ignored. Dean walked through the house and dumped me in the car. He quickly got in the drivers' side and drove out of the junkyard. I stared out the window. I wished that I were back to normal so that I wouldn't be treated in such a disrespectful manner. Dean tapped his fingers on the steering wheel in rhythm to the music coming from the radio.

We drove in silence until we approached a motel. I frowned and stared at the building uncomprehending.

"We'll leave you here," Dean said.

"What?" I was puzzled.

"Dad doesn't feel that taking you to the site of the hunt is a good idea," Dean explained.

"Oh?" I folded my arms.

"Yes," Dean nodded. "You're in a difficult mood."

I said nothing in response to this accusation. Dean parked the car and got out. I stayed in the car. I saw them speaking and they kept glancing at me. I merely fumed and tried to think clearly. This could be a good opportunity.

Dean came back to the car and pulled open the passenger door. I stepped out of the car and walked to the room. I stared stonily at John. He refused to meet my gaze. I sat in the nearest chair. John placed his hand on my shoulder and I heard something snap. I looked and saw that he handcuffed me to the chair.

"John Winchester," I snarled.

"You know," John said. "You're just too difficult."

"Then I suggest that you let me go," I argued.

"No," John shook his head. "I need you to answer some questions first."

"Dad!" Dean sounded annoyed.

"She's never given a straight answer before son," John told him.

"And I doubt she'll start now," Dean retorted.

John narrowed his eyes, "She's knows something."  
"Of course she does," Dean snapped. "But she's not going to tell us."

"Why are you defending her?" John demanded.

"Because we're wasting time," Dean said.

"You remember," John stopped.

I turned and looked from one to the other. I couldn't understand what was happening with them.

"What?" I asked.

John touched my head with his fingers and ran them across my forehead. I moved my head away from him.

"Dad?" Dean stepped closer to us.

"Let's go," John said.

"Dad, we can't leave her handcuffed," Dean pleaded.

"She's not going to stay like that for long," John muttered.

"I'm not?" I grumbled.

"No," John sighed. "Come on Dean, let's move it."

Dean stared at his father for a moment. He looked down at his hands and followed John through the door.

I sat still for a moment as I pondered what John meant. I shook my wrist and the handcuff fell right off. I stared at it in shock. I jumped out of the chair and found a mirror, ripping up my shirt to stare at my belly button. I frowned. It was still there but it appeared to have reduced in size. I was healing. I was changing back. I felt so happy at that and I stopped. John's reaction made sense to me. He had recognized that I was reverting from human form. It had certainly taken a shorter time than I had expected. I danced around the room for a moment. I was on my way back. I couldn't do huge things yet but it was a start.

I tried to alter my clothes and remained in what I was wearing. So, I was able to get out of handcuffs but not alter my appearance. I closed my eyes and listened. I heard nothing, however, my senses were on fire. I quickly opened my eyes and ran for the door. Neither vehicle was there. Leave it to John to have me stranded at the motel. I rushed back inside and dug through the bag that had my things in it. My hands clasped around the cell phone. I quickly punched Bobby's number. He answered on the second ring.

"Bobby, I need the address where they went now!" I demanded.

"Kelsey," Bobby replied. "John said."  
"I don't care what John said," I cut him off. "I need that address now!"

"And how are you going to get there, girl?" Bobby asked quietly.

"Leave that to me," I lowered my voice.

"322 Muskrat Lane," Bobby told me.

I don't know if he said anything else, I had ended the call. I ran outside and scanned for vehicles. There was a car sitting in front of the office. I approached it and it seemed relatively new. It was a rental. I peeked through the window and saw that the owner of the car would be very busy. I walked to the car, unlocked it and started the engine. I drove to the address as quickly as I could.

The building was old and tired. It had seen too much history and not enough care. I smelled the air and walked slowly around to the back. I stood staring at the windows. I narrowed my eyes as I sensed when it moved through the building I ran forward stopping as I heard the scream rend the night air.

To Be Continued…


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45

I moved cautiously toward the scream. It sounded again and I trained my ears carefully, it sounded like Dean. I turned the corner and stopped. Dean was lying unconscious on the ground, bleeding from gashes in his chest. I knelt next to him and checked his breathing. He was breathing which was a good sign. I glanced around hoping to spot John, but he was nowhere to be seen.

I heard a loud crash in the distance and ran toward it. I rounded the corner and had to stop quickly to avoid colliding with John. He stared at me unseeing for a moment. I turned my head sideways and saw that he was bleeding profusely from the forehead. I pulled him around the corner and he pushed me away.

"John," I admonished. "You're hurt. Dean's out cold, what do you plan on doing?"

"Kill that bitch!" he uttered harshly.

I raised an eyebrow, "Well, I'd say she's already managed to get the best of the two of you."

"If you're going to help Kelsey," John snapped.

"Come on!" I pulled him with me.

John grudgingly followed. I stopped where Dean lay. He showed no signs of waking. I sighed and pulled him over my shoulders. I staggered a bit but straightened as I centered his weight properly. I dragged John with me as we left the building.

I found where they had parked and placed Dean across the hood of the car. I turned to see John leaning on his pickup. I folded my arms.

"I see that you got loose," John noted.

"I see that you almost got yourselves killed," I retorted.

"The damn thing got the drop on us is all," John muttered.

"You were distracted?" I asked.

"Yes," John gritted.

"Uh – huh," I studied him carefully. He was annoyed with himself. It was an amateur mistake that he had made.

"What the…" he stopped.

"Want to use some choice words John?" I asked faintly amused.

"I could think of a few," he murmured. "How is he?"

"He'll live," I said. "She wasn't interested in him."

"Doesn't look like it," John disagreed.

"No," I countered. "If she were he would be dead. This particular hag loves to kill children."

"Hag?" John sat up.

"The rock salt just pissed her off?" I guessed.

John nodded and frowned, "It looked…"

"Well, hag is probably not the correct term, but it will do for now," I taunted.

"Kelsey I nearly got my son killed," John growled.

"Yes, because you didn't know what you were dealing with," I taunted him.

"What was it?" John snapped.

"It's a hag…a Jaga Baba," I shrugged. "They're pretty ancient. Kind of like what you find in fairy tales like Hansel and Gretel."

John emitted a low whistle. I felt Dean stir beside me. I climbed up on the hood and tapped his face. He sat up and grabbed me for balance. I sat with my legs folded.

"Ugh!" he groaned.

"Son," John pulled Dean to him.

"Dad," Dean patted his back. "I'm okay."

"I was worried," John placed his hands on Dean's face.

I watched this scene with great interest. John caught me looking at them.

"What?" he demanded.

"It's nice to know that you love your son," I commented.

"Kelsey," Dean spun and stared at me.

"Yes Dean," I answered sweetly.

"She's back to her usual self?" he asked his father.

"I'm right here, you know," I reminded him.

"Right," Dean shook his head, "I know that."

"I'm not a 100," I told him.

"So, still have a belly button," John surmised.

"Yep," I nodded.

Dean sighed and rubbed the back of his head, "Dad what was that?"

"A?" John stopped and looked at me.

"A Jaga Baba," I stated. "They're a kind of hag."

Dean nodded his head then he winced.

"Come on," John pushed Dean toward his car. "We've got to check this thing out thoroughly."

I remained where I was.

"Kelsey," Dean stared at me for a moment. "How did you get here?"

"I took a leaf out of your book," I answered cryptically.

Dean frowned at me and then laughed. There were tears glistening from the pain in his head. John rolled his eyes and limped into his pick up.

"Can you drive?" I asked.

"We've been in worse shape and driven," Dean answered. "Umm, Kelsey, return the car."

I thought for a moment. I had to get the car back before its owner was finished. I chuckled for a moment and returned to the car. I drove back to the motel and parked the car where I had found it. I moved swiftly to the shadow of the building and saw the patrol car pull up. The owner for the car came out and was shocked to see her car returned. The deputies didn't look very pleased to see that their time was wasted. I slipped quietly into the room.

I sat on the bed and waited for them. It took twenty minutes before they came through the door. John ambled to the nearest chair while Dean limped in behind him. He collapsed on the bed next to me.

"Dean," I said. "You're bleeding on the pillow."  
"There are two beds," he murmured.

I stared at him for a moment and punched his leg.

"Ouch!" he cried. "You know you're just far too violent."

"What did you expect?" I demanded.

Dean pulled himself out of the bed and limped to the bathroom to clean up. I stared at the bloodstained pillows and wanted them clean. They became clean and I smiled. I felt the stab of John's glare.

"Are you going to tell me what you are?" he snarled.

"Nope," I stood and faced him.

"You're returning to normal," he observed.

"Yep," I grinned.

He swore under his breath, which made me laugh.

Dean came out of the bathroom and stared at the two of us. My grin grew even wider.

"Do I want to know?" Dean stared at me apprehensively.

"Uh – huh," I replied.

Dean raised an eyebrow at me. He turned his attention to his father. John had his stare fixed firmly above Dean's head. Dean shrugged and walked to where his bag lay. He pulled on a clean shirt and stopped when he reached the bed.

"Um," he said. "Kelsey?"

"What?" I asked.

"Did you do that?" Dean pointed to the pillow.

I nodded my reply.

Dean closed his eyes briefly and then lay back down.

"Hey!" I cried. "That's where I'm sleeping."

"There are two beds," Dean answered while he kept his eyes closed.

I contemplated kicking him but I changed my mind. He had been through enough.

John took a shower while I contemplated what my next plan of action would be. I returned to the mirror however, my belly button was still present. I wondered if I should wait for the rest of the healing to take place instead of pushing forward. But this was not the time to consider these things.  
"You know," Dean's voice cut through my thoughts. "It would help greatly if you were a bit more modest."

I spun and stared at him uncomprehending, "Dean, what are you talking about?"

He sighed and sat forward quite alert. "You have no clue what havoc you're wreaking."

I raised an eyebrow, "Um, Dean, wreaking?"

He stared at the ceiling for a moment. His face reflected his exasperation.

"I wish," he said softly. "That people would stop thinking that I'm a dumb lug."

"No one thinks that," I disagreed.

"Oh?" his voice reflected his disbelief.

"It's true," I averred. "In fact, people just think that you have two passions."  
He sighed, "Hmm… Do I want to know?"  
"Food and sex," I told him.

"I don't…" Dean stopped.

I spun and saw John standing in the middle of the room with an odd expression on his face.

"Dad?" he asked.

"How can you have conversations like that with her?" John fixed with me a hard stare.

"Dad?" Dean appeared puzzled.

"We don't know what exactly…" John trailed off.

"You sure you want to finish that statement John?" my voice was cold with latent anger.

John assessed the situation quickly and stopped. "We need to figure out why this thing is attacking the children."

"It's what they do," I shrugged.

Dean folded his arms under his head, "I say we talk with the head of the Orphanage."  
"I agree," John nodded. "We don't know if she has any idea what is happening, or why."

I watched them intently. "So this time you're going in prepared?"  
John smiled, "Of course."  
"What are you going to do?" I was curious.

"Fry the bitch," John replied.

"I agree," Dean joined in.

There was nothing for me to say.

Please Note: I'm not at home so the updates will be irregular. I return home next week.

Laceym.


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46

I decided to sleep on the floor. I thought that since the two of them were injured that they were better off with the beds. I didn't like the couch for it was the most uncomfortable thing that was ever made, a fact which I found vaguely amusing, considering I could sleep on a headstone if I had to. So I was quite perturbed to wake up in a bed. I opened my eyes and determined that it must be a side effect of the healing that made me so completely unaware while I slept. I sat forward and my foot connected with something. I stared at Dean seated on the bed.

"I was worried," he said.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"It's just after 6," he shrugged.

"Your father moved me again?" I guessed.

Dean smiled, "Yep."

I rolled my eyes. I just didn't know what to do with that man.

Dean tapped my leg and stood. I threw the covers off and jumped out of the bed. He handed me a steaming cup of coffee. I smelled it and handed it back to him.  
"Kelsey," Dean's voice reflected his concern. "You're supposed to drink it."

"Why?" I stared at him.

Dean looked down at the coffee. He contemplated for a moment and then simply shrugged. He sipped the coffee. The door opened and John walked through it.

"She's awake," John stated the obvious.

"Yes, she is," I replied.

John wore a wry expression. He gazed at the coffee in Dean's hand and crooked an eyebrow.  
"She smelled it and gave it back to me," Dean explained.

"And?" John pressed.

"I wasn't in the mood to argue with her," Dean shrugged.

I pursed my lips for a moment and made a decision. "Okay," I acquiesced.

"You'll cooperate?" John asked.

"I'll cooperate," I nodded.

Dean grinned. "So Dad, what did you find out? Before she changes her mind."

I contemplated hitting him, but stopped because I wasn't sure if I would actually hurt him so I quashed the impulse.

John paused for a moment and fixed me with a hard stare. He shrugged and threw a card to Dean, which he caught. Dean gazed at it for a moment and grinned.

"So," he returned his attention to John. "We're pretexting as Child Welfare?"

"Not we," John replied. "You."

I felt my eyebrow shoot upward, "I'm involved with this part?"

"Yep," John smiled.

"What will I wear?" I sat forward.

John shook his head.

"What?" I demanded.

"You're so aggressive," he murmured.

I narrowed my eyes, "John," I said sweetly. "My strength is returning."  
"It is?" Dean spun to me.

"Oh yes," I nodded. "Who do you think carried you out of that place?"

Dean crooked his eyebrow.

I merely grinned at him. Dean rolled his eyes and sighed heavily, which in turn made me laugh.

John watched us for a moment and said nothing. He threw a bag at me. I pulled from it a severe dark blue suit with sensible pumps. I raised an eyebrow at the clothes.

"Who dresses like this?" I asked.

"You do," John replied.

Dean chuckled and wisely avoided my grasp. I stared at the clothes with displeasure however realized that I had to put them on. I then began tugging at my shirt.

"Kelsey!" both John and Dean screamed at the same time.

"What?" I wondered what was wrong with them.

"The bathroom Kelsey, please change in the bathroom," John pleaded.

"It's not like either of you haven't seen me without clothes," I argued.

"Kelsey," John sounded exasperated. "Please, use the bathroom."

"All right," I grumbled.

I stomped to the bathroom with the clothes in hand. I pulled off my clothes and dressed in the horrible clothes that John had chosen. I still had the bag and saw that makeup was in it as well. I grinned as I applied the makeup. I walked out of the bathroom and was greeted with a gasp of horror from John and raucous laughter from Dean. John groaned.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"You look like a clown," John muttered. He stared at his son for a moment. "Dean, clean her up. Get her looking like a person. I'll speak to both of you later." John stormed out of the room.

I shrugged my shoulders and stared at Dean. He wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Okay," he continued grinning, "you've had your fun."

"I have no idea what you mean," I feigned innocence.

"Kelsey," Dean sighed. "We've got to make that meeting."

"All right," I sighed. I returned to the bathroom and cleaned off the heavy makeup and did it properly.

We left the room and took Dean's car to the Orphanage. The building looked the same as it did earlier. It had that same tired feel to it. We walked the corridors and saw the same dreariness everywhere. Dean's countenance became morose. His lips thinned into a fine line and his eyes became dark. I frowned as I saw the children. Children were never this quiet. They all wore haunted and fearful expressions. I knew that it was because of Jaga Baba. Dean did as well.

We walked to office and knocked on the door. A diminutive blonde greeted us. She had that washed out look that was popular in the 1920's. Dean, however, did not seem impressed by her appearance. His shoulders conveyed his anger at the state of the children in the orphanage. He nodded curtly and took a seat. I trotted after him. I was new to this, so I took my cue from him.

The blonde smiled at us. Dean didn't return her smile. I waited for a moment.

"Ms. Halverson," Dean said quietly.

"You haven't introduced yourselves," Ms. Halverson said.

"You have some explaining to do," Dean continued.

"I demand to know exactly who you are," Ms. Halverson stood.

"Sit!" Dean commanded. She sat.

"Dean," I hissed.

"Keep quiet Kelsey," he ordered.

I had never heard that tone from him before and it disturbed me. Ms. Halverson's hand shook. I raised an eyebrow at that.

"We understand that there have been deaths among the children," I spoke quickly in an attempt to curb Dean's anger.

"Yes," Ms. Halverson nodded. "We don't have any explanation as to what is going on."

"Perhaps this place needs to be closed down," Dean stated flatly.

I gripped Dean's arm. Ms. Halverson stood.

"I think the two of you should leave," she said.

"Not 'til you tell us what's going on," Dean's voice was cold.

"I don't know," she said unconvincingly.

"I think that you do," I countered.

Ms. Halverson's lip trembled as she stared at us. "There's nothing that I can tell you."

"You've got three dead kids lady," Dean growled. "How many more have to die before you'll talk?"

"I don't know anything," she whispered.

"You run this place," Dean glared at her. "There's no way that you don't know what's happening."

She remained silent. I placed my hand on Dean's arm.

"We should leave," I said. "After all when this thing's through with the children. It'll simply kill her as well."

I stood and pulled Dean to his feet. I dragged him toward the door.

"Wait!" she called.

"You ready to talk?" Dean demanded.

"Please," tears streamed down her face.

Dean swore under his breath. I felt my eyebrow rising as I realized that Dean had learned his father's swear words.

Dean resumed his seat and I followed. Ms. Halverson sat behind her desk.   
"You have to understand that I was desperate," she cried.

Dean rolled his eyes and looked impatient.

"So how did you meet her?" I asked.

"She seemed to be so nice," Ms. Halverson explained.

"They always do," I agreed.

"They were cutting our funding. I needed a way to get help for the children. I did it for the children!" she wept.

"The children?" Dean's rage was barely contained.

I tightened my grip on Dean's arm.

"I didn't…" she trailed off.

"You can't make deals with those things," Dean muttered.

She stared at us with tears streaming down her face. "I'm sorry."

Dean snorted, stood and left the room. I sat there for a moment staring after his retreating back.

"What happens now?" she asked.

"That's a question that I can't answer," I replied. "But you may end up losing everything anyway."

I stood and walked out the room.

It took me a few minutes to realize that Dean hadn't remained inside the building. I found him leaning against the car.

"Well, what now?" I asked.

"We fry the bitch," he replied.

I hoped that he meant the Jaga Baba and not Ms. Halverson.


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47

We returned the motel room and found John waiting. He listened while Dean filled him in on what had transpired with Ms. Halverson. I changed out of the uncomfortable clothes, opting to use the bathroom to protect their delicate sensibilities. John and Dean discussed how they would approach the hunt. I sat on the bed and paid them scant attention. I closed my eyes and the next thing I knew my leg was being tapped. I opened one eye and glared at Dean who was grinning at me.

"Come on," he jerked his head toward the door.

I sat up straight. "Are we going to hunt now?"

"No," he pulled me off the bed. "We're going to get some food."

I looked around the room and noticed that John was gone. I stared quizzically at Dean for a moment.

"He'll be back later," he opened the door.

I shrugged and followed him out of the room.

We drove to a diner. Dean seemed to have an affinity for places that had the words 'home cooked'. Dean ordered and I sat through the food. I realized that I was not actually in need of food. I still had a belly button, though it was now much smaller. I took the shrinking as a good sign. It meant that I was going to be able to make my way soon. Dean ate slowly which I frowned at. It wasn't like him to take his time with food.

"It doesn't taste good?" I asked.

"Huh?" Dean answered absently.

"The food," I smiled. "You're not attacking it the way you normally do."

"I don't eat that much," he commented.

"Uh – huh…well to borrow an expression I heard once. Pigs may fly but they make unlikely birds," I grinned.

"You've known some odd people Kelsey," Dean returned my grin.

"You're up there with them," I teased.

"You're going to leave as soon as you're better," he said.

"I have to," I explained.

"I know," he sounded sad.

I sighed, "Dean…"

"No, Kelsey," he stopped me. "I understand."

"I won't be gone long," I promised.

"I remember that promise from before," he stared at me with stormy eyes.

"Time moves differently for me," I shrugged.

He grunted and returned to his eating. The phone rang and Dean answered it. I toyed with what was on my plate.

Dean pulled money out of his wallet and threw it on the table. He nodded and stood. I followed him to the car. He opened the door for me and I got in. He got in the car and started the engine. We were headed back to the Orphanage. John waited by his pickup. Dean got out of the car and walked to his father. I sat in the car and waited. Dean returned to the car and pulled open the door.

"Come on," he said.

I walked with him to where John stood. John studied me for a moment, but said nothing.

"Kelsey," Dean said quietly as he handed me a taser. "You will be with me."

"Okay," I agreed.

John still eyed me suspiciously however I had long given up on deciphering his mind. I simply followed Dean into the building. We stopped behind a corner.

"We wait until the hag shows up," Dean told me.

I nodded.

"We don't move until then," Dean impressed upon me.

"I get it," I grumbled. "How comes you're calling her a hag?"

"Dude, it's a lot easier than that other term," Dean retorted.

"You know, I'm actually afraid of what goes on in your head," I muttered.

Dean smirked. I sat on the ground and waited. Dean knelt next to me but he remained silent.

After a few hours we heard a low howl. Dean chuckled. He stood and signaled for me to remain where I was. I shrugged but acquiesced. Dean stared at me for a moment as though he had expected a fight. He pursed his lips, scratched his chin and walked away.

I chuckled at his response. I heard the running of feet a few minutes later.

"Kelsey!" Dean shouted. "Shoot her!"

I sprang to my feet and fired the taser at the Jaga Baba. She jerked off her feet and fried on the spot. I was stunned at the amount of voltage that came out of the weapon. Dean came around the corner with John not far behind.

"Extra crispy," Dean grinned.

"You enjoy your job way too much," I observed.

Dean's eyes danced with laughter.

"So the children are safe now?" John demanded.

"They should be," I guessed.

"Should?" John's voice held a note of anger.

"I don't have much to do with these things," I explained. "Um, where's Halverson?"

"She's okay," Dean's voice was cold.

I noted the expression on John's face. I figured that John shared Dean's avid dislike of Halverson.

"Well," I shrugged. "I certainly hope so."

"What do you mean?" Dean frowned.

"Don't you teach your boys anything John?" I turned the question on him.

"We killed it," John stated flatly. "There's no way that that thing will be able to harm her."

"Well, I think that the children should be removed from here," I said.

"Don't worry," John smiled. "Let's go. I give them about ten more minutes."  
"Who?" Dean questioned.

"The police," John said. "You didn't think that Halverson is going to get away with those dead kids do you?"  
"Good," Dean nodded.

I remained silent. We left the building and waited across the street. The police came and arrested Halverson. John had apparently fixed it that it looked like she was responsible for the deaths of the children. I kept my own counsel. We returned to the motel and settled for the night. John began looking for the next job and I curled up on one of the beds and went to sleep.

I woke to John's swearing. I barely cracked open my eyes. John was furious and Dean was seated on the bed with his head down. I sat up.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Halverson's dead," John snarled.

"That's to be expected," I shrugged.

"You knew this would happen?" John demanded.

"When you make deals, there are consequences. Sometimes very nasty ones," I answered. "You know this, John."

"But we killed it," Dean exclaimed.

"So?" I replied.

"So that means that she should have been safe," John murmured.

"It doesn't work like that," I answered.

"I thought this was like that werewolf," Dean rubbed his head.

I frowned at that. Werewolf? John had taken the boys to hunt a werewolf? I stood and walked to where John stood. I grabbed his shirt and pulled his face level with mine.

"You exposed them to a werewolf?" I failed to keep the anger out of my voice.

"They were safe," John rebuffed.

I pushed him away from me and John went flying across the room.

"Kelsey!" Dean jumped to his feet.

"He's not hurt," I waved my hand.

"Damn she's strong," John growled.

"And you keep antagonizing her," Dean commented.

"I'm hard headed," John muttered.

"That's one word for it," I snapped.

John and Dean remained silent. I shook my head. I needed to leave immediately.

"I'm going," I said.

"Probably for the best," John agreed.

"Really?" I arched an eyebrow.

"Yes," John nodded. "You can take care of yourself now."

"Don't bother hunting for the others," I told him. "They're gone by now."

John said nothing as I left the room. I walked across the street and proceeded to the nearest bus station. I figured that I would find it. I walked for several blocks and realized that I was being followed. I stopped and turned. I nearly fell at the shock of seeing Micah.

"You need to contain your surprise," Micah muttered. "Someone might think that I'm attacking you."

I glanced around and saw no one. "You're getting paranoid."

"No," Micah countered.

"Are you going to the bus station as well?" I asked.

"You're healed," he observed.

"Not completely," I told him.

"You're healed," Micah repeated.

I realized that he wasn't asking a question. He was stating a fact.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"No one else healed from that kind of injury," he murmured.

"I'm different," I shrugged.

"I wonder Denri, just how different," Micah commented.

I kept silent.

I turned and walked away from him. I noted that he didn't follow me. I turned a corner and stopped. I was healed and that meant that I could travel anywhere I wanted and there was one place I wanted to go. I took a breath and became light. I nearly danced with joy, however I contained myself and concentrated on where I wanted to go.

The building was impressive as most libraries tended to be. They were designed that way to give their users the feeling that they were entering a sacrosanct place. I was always amused by these places and I liked them. I walked through the corridors and inhaled the smell of the books. I turned the corner and saw a student with his head bowed over a book. I crept up behind him and leaned forward. I whispered in his ear.

"Hello Sam."

His head snapped up and Sam stared at me in shock.


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48

"Kelsey!" he pushed away from the table and wrapped his arms around me. "What are you doing here?"

"I decided to see how you were doing," I returned his hug.

He grinned at me and then frowned, "Are you alone?"

I studied him for a moment, "Yes. Your father and brother are working a job, I think."

"You think?" Sam choked a bit.

"Why?" I turned my head sideways. "You want to see them?"

"No," Sam shook his head.

I didn't believe him. He rubbed the back of his head.

"So," he grabbed his books off the table. "Let's go get some coffee."

I arched an eyebrow.

"What?" he chuckled, "You don't like coffee?"

"Dean tried to poison me with it," I muttered.

Sam laughed, "Come on. We're going to get kicked out of here." He steered me out of the library.

We walked in silence for a few minutes. I looked at the trees that surrounded the library for the area was a mixture of nature and concrete structures. I would have preferred more trees. I noticed that Sam was studying me intently.

"What?" I asked.

"What are you wearing?" Sam asked.

I looked down at my clothes, "Clothes."

"No," Sam shook his head. "I mean that's not what you usually wear."

"Oh," I thought for a moment. "Dean bought these."

"Dean bought you clothes?" Sam was stunned.

"Uh – huh," I nodded.

"Um, Kelsey?" Sam placed his hand on my arm.

"What?" I turned to face him.

"Is there something that I should know?" Sam stared at me with the oddest expression on his face.

Then he stiffened slightly and stood perfectly straight. I was puzzled by the shift in his mood, until I smelled the perfume before I heard the voice.

"Hi Sam!" a bright cheery voice said.

I turned and smiled at the blond girl who had called to him. "And Sam's friend." Her smile faltered.

"Hi Jessica," Sam muttered.

"I told you to call me Jess," she admonished.

"Right," Sam put a hand in the top of his jeans. I watched all of this feeling rather amused. "Uh, this is Kelsey."

"Oh?" she wore a forced grin.

"Hi Jess," I greeted her.

"Don't forget the mixer later Sam. Um, you're invited too Kelsey," she said. Her eyes quickly darted across Sam's face and then she left.

I waited until she had disappeared from view before laughing. Sam hunched his shoulders and walked away from me. I ran after him while I attempted to contain my laughter.

"Oh damn it!" Sam muttered.

"Hmm," I mused.

Sam turned and glared at me. My response was further peals of laughter.

"She'll never…" Sam stopped.

"So," I grabbed his arm. "Who should I be? The psycho stalker ex – girlfriend?"

Sam narrowed his eyes at me.

"You could tell her the truth," I offered.

"What?" Sam demanded. "What would that be Kelsey? That you're some kind of supernatural being who helped raise me and my brother?"

I contemplated this for a moment. "You could leave out the supernatural part and rely on your dad's explanation."

"That you're his girlfriend who he has a very rocky relationship with but that you helped raise us and we consider you our mom," Sam summed up.

"Yep," I nodded.

"That won't work," Sam disagreed.

"Why not?" I was curious.

"You don't look old enough," Sam pointed out.

"Oh?" I nodded. "So, we're back to the psycho stalker ex – girlfriend?"

Sam chuckled.

"You know," I observed. "Your brother would have had her in bed inside of three minutes."

"Three minutes?" Sam scoffed.

"Yes," I said sagely. "She's a tough nut. It would take him three minutes. It normally takes him two seconds."

Sam threw his head back and laughed.

"Don't you do anything here Sam?" I asked.

"I've been busy with classes and studying," Sam shrugged.

"Dean would disapprove," I laughed.

"Well," Sam grinned at me. "I just think of what Dean would do and do the opposite."

I stared at him in shock for a moment. "But Sam," I exclaimed. "That means that you have no fun!"

Sam continued laughing. He led me to one of the campus coffee shops. This was certainly different from the University that Clara had attended. But then it was a different time.

We sat at a table and Sam ordered a coffee for himself and a glass of water for me. I was quite happy with that choice. I asked him about his time at Stanford, he was animated in his discussion but beneath it I could tell that he missed his father and brother. However, stubbornness was a Winchester trait. While we sat I noticed the same girl Jessica hanging around. She kept watching Sam while she sat with her friends.

I kept track of Sam's account of his classes and his professors and assessed as to whether he was happy with his 'normal' life. He had kept information about his family to a minimum, which given the circumstances was probably best. However, when he mentioned his field of study my attention came right back to him.

"You're studying what?" I asked.

"Pre – law," Sam shrugged.

"So, you won't help your father and brother fight evil their way. But you're doing it another?" I wanted clarification.

"Look," Sam toyed with his coffee cup. "What Dad and Dean does, it's not for me."

"I understand," I nodded.

"But this," he paused. "I like it. It's a way to make a difference."  
"Without having to hide how you do things?" I placed my hand on his.

"Yeah," he smiled.

"Well," I sat back in the chair. "I think it's a good idea that you're studying criminal law and you're going to be a lawyer."

"Oh?" Sam arched an eyebrow.

"Sure," I grinned wickedly at him. "Dean's going to need someone to bail his ass out of jail, you know, when he gets caught."

Sam laughed at that.

It was good to see him laugh. I saw from the corner of my eye Jessica approach us. She was wary at first however she seemed to have determined that I was not a threat to her intentions. Sam noticed her coming toward us and smiled at her. I shook my head for it was the devastating Winchester smile. I glanced surreptitiously at her, she had faltered, and I suppressed my grin.

"Hi Jess!" I greeted her.  
"Hi Kelsey," she returned.

"Join us," I offered her a chair.

She sat in the chair. Sam was more relaxed than he had been earlier.

"So, you're his friend?" Jessica got to the point.

"Well," I glanced sideways at Sam and noted that he colored. "I'm actually a family friend of sorts."

"Of sorts?" Jessica sounded curious.

"Oh yes," I smiled. "Sam's father and I have quite a relationship really."  
"You're always threatening him with a shovel," Sam pointed out.

"Well, I didn't use a shovel," I smiled serenely.

Jessica started for a moment, "What did you use?"

"You hit him!" Sam was incredulous.

"He saw stars," I commented.

Sam laughed and Jessica looked puzzled. He placed his hand over hers for a moment, "No, Jess, you don't understand. Dad's got a way with Kelsey." She kept her hand still.

"Yep," I nodded. "The man inspires me to homicide."

Jessica chuckled. "He inspires you to homicide?"

"Oh yes," I continued.

"What did you use?" Sam repeated Jessica's question. He didn't let go of her hand.

"A rather large book," I took a sip of my water.

Sam and Jessica stared at me with their mouths agape. Sam shook his head.

"A book?" Jessica was amused.

"Oh yes," I assumed a serious expression. "Books are awfully handy. A learned woman is a dangerous one."

"That sounds like a quote," Sam said.

"Well if it isn't it should be," Jessica interjected.

I decided that I liked her. I leaned forward, "I'll be truthful. I'm more like his mom than anything else."

"But you're so young," Jessica observed.

I colored at that. "Well," I said in a conspiratorial whisper, "Plastic surgeons are just absolutely marvelous these days."

"They're not miracle workers," Sam muttered.

"That's why they invented makeup," I pointed to the lines around my eyes.

Jessica smiled and Sam started a bit. Her friends called to her, "I have to go now. But I hope to see you around." She reluctantly removed her hand from Sam's.

"We'll see," I said in a motherly voice.

She grinned at me and rejoined her friends.

"What just happened?" Sam demanded.

"I simply pulled back the illusion," I said.

"But you don't have wrinkles," Sam grumbled.

"But a woman who raised you would," I noted. He was hard pressed to disagree.


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49

We left the coffee house and he gave me a tour of the campus. I was satisfied that he was fine, and that made me feel better about his choice. I sat in his room and stared at the books on the shelves. Sam was busy gathering his things for his next class.

"How long are you staying Kelsey?" he asked.

"I'll be gone in a few minutes," I assured him.

Sam stopped what he was doing. "You came to check up on me?"

"Yes," I admitted. "I would have been here sooner, but I was side tracked."

"By what?" he frowned at me.

"Maybe you should ask your brother," I suggested.

"I'm not going to talk to Dean," Sam said.

I folded my arms and scowled at him. Sam rolled his eyes, "You don't understand."  
"Oh, I understand completely," I told him.

Sam threw some books in a bag. "I know that you think you know."

"I know that you're just as stubborn as your father," I muttered.

"We just…" Sam trailed off.

"You're punishing Dean as well," I pointed out. "That's not fair to him."  
"I'll talk to him soon," Sam promised.

"Yeah right," I scoffed.

"Kelsey," Sam pleaded.

"It's your life," I warned him. "Remember that, when you make your choices."

Sam frowned at me, "What do you mean?"

"I mean," I said. "You may find yourself wishing that you hadn't attempted to cut your family out of your life. Especially when it comes to the two people you love so much it hurts."

Sam shook his head, "Kelsey."

"Love is the hardest thing in life Sam," I walked up to him and placed my hand on his cheek. "It makes you do crazy things."

Sam's eyes filled with tears.

"Shh! It's okay," I patted his cheek. "I'm going to go now. I'll check in with you." I opened the door and paused. "Oh and by the way Sam. Don't keep that Jessica girl waiting too long, you may just lose on a good thing."

Sam refused to meet my gaze. I walked through the door and out of the dorm.

I followed the path along the trees and decided that I probably should visit Sister Mary after all. She was probably concerned after Dean had ended the phone call. I heard my name being called. I turned and saw Sam running after me. I waited for him.

"Kelsey," he breathed.

"I'm not hurt Sam," I said.

"I know," Sam directed his gaze to his shoes. "But you didn't deserve that."

"Uh – huh," I murmured.

"Stay," he pleaded.  
"I can't," I smiled. "I was on my way to visit someone when I was side – tracked. I think I need to go there."

"Sam?" Jessica's voice cut through the air.

"Hi Jess," Sam smiled at her.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"I was just saying good bye," I told her.

"But you just got here," she frowned slightly.

"Kelsey," Sam coughed a bit. "Isn't someone who stays in one place for long."

"True," I said. "I'm a bit of a hellion. I can't keep still. There must be something, somewhere to do."

"Which is why it works so well with my dad," Sam commented.

"Oh?" Jessica appeared disturbed.

"It's okay, don't worry," I smiled at her.

"Catherine?" a calm voice called out.

I frowned I recognized that voice. "Catherine?" Sam looked at me in wonder.

"Hush!" I said as I spun and saw Sister Mary Bard standing on the walkway.

I couldn't believe my eyes. I walked over to her and hugged her tightly. "My child," she greeted me.  
"I'm okay," I said.

"I was so worried," she said.

"I know," I nodded. "I was on my way to see you."

"What are you doing here?" she asked and then stopped when she saw Sam and Jessica.

"Which one?" she murmured.

I smiled, "Mother Mary Bard, this is Sam Winchester." I pointed to Sam. "And the lovely young woman beside him is Jessica."

"I know Mother Mary," Jessica said. "She teaches an ethics course."  
I felt my eyebrow shoot upwards, "Ethics?"

"Yes," Sister Mary countered. "I have some knowledge of them."

I laughed at that, "Please tell me that you're not instructing them how to use a baseball bat."

Sister Mary chuckled at the memory, "It was so sad when she died. She was a great friend."  
"Yes she was," I said.

"Kelsey," Sam said quietly. "I'll see you later."  
"Kelsey?" Sister Mary said. "Of course, Sister Anthony did say that you didn't actually like Catherine."

Jessica chuckled, "It happens."

Both of them walked off, and Sister Mary's hand clasped over mine. "You have watched over him for how long?"

"Since he was a baby," I said.

"That's longer than you were with Clara," Sister Mary observed.

"Yes," I nodded. "But he has an older brother as well."

Sister Mary chuckled. "You've never said what it is that you are."

"I never did," I grinned. "So tell me about this class of yours." I looped my arm in hers and we wended our way across the campus.

The afternoon was a pleasant enough one. I needed to spend time with her. I left her at her office and continued my walk around the campus.

I found an alcove under some trees with benches. I was stunned to find Sam sitting there alone. I walked over to him and he looked up and smiled.

"Where's Jessica?" I sat next to him.

Sam lowered his head and chuckled.

"What?" I prodded.

"She's wherever," Sam shrugged.

"I don't understand," I was puzzled.

"She has a boyfriend back home," Sam grinned.

I placed my hand on his shoulder, "I'm so sorry Sammy."

Sam chuckled, "It's my own fault."

"How is that?" I asked.

"I'm not like Dean," Sam smirked.

I thought about that for a moment and then laughed. "Yes, I hardly see Dean letting a boyfriend get in his way."

Sam became silent. I placed my head on his shoulder.

"You know," I said. "This is part of being normal."

"I know," Sam admitted.

I grinned at that. I ruffled Sam's hair; "I'm going to leave you now."

"I figured," Sam smiled.

I stood and turned to leave. Sam grabbed my hand.

"Kelsey," he said.

"What?" I smiled at him.

"Don't be a stranger," he said.

"I'll try not to cramp your style," I grinned.

Sam grinned in return.

I walked away and saw that he had returned to his book. He would be fine. I decided to stay until nightfall to see what the place was like. I managed to remain out of phase with the rest of them and therefore observed them in their natural state. I enjoyed myself immensely until I sensed something else present. It felt familiar and non - threatening so I set out to find it.

I walked in the direction of where I felt the presence. I stopped in my tracks when I saw John Winchester leaning against his pickup staring at Sam through his window. I shook my head at the ridiculous nature of these men. I perched on the hood of the pickup and tapped John on the shoulder. He jumped at the touch.

"Really John," I said. "Here I thought you were a big time hunter."

"Kelsey!" John growled.

I laughed at him.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"The same thing you are," I replied. "Checking that Sam is okay."

"Yes," John grudgingly admitted.

"You know," I sighed. "That's why I am tempted to hit you all the time."

"What is it with you?" John demanded.

"Your son is up there. He's right there John. Would it kill you to let him know how much you love him?" I argued.

"He made his choice," John shook his head.

"Then why are you here?" I demanded.

John looked at me with tear glistened eyes, "I need to make sure he's safe."

"Your son needs to know that you love him," I retorted.

"You don't…" John trailed off.

"Yes," I said harshly. "I couldn't possibly understand."

John rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Kelsey I don't want to argue with you."

"You're unbelievable John. Where's Dean?" I demanded.

"He's waiting for me," John told me.

"He knows where you are?" I held on to my temper.

"Yes," John nodded. "And he agrees with you. But he doesn't argue."

"One day, he will, John. One day, he will." I warned. I hopped off the pickup and disappeared.


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50

I spent the next year and a half wandering in and out of Hell, and I periodically checked in with the Winchesters. I was determined to discover what it was that that Spawn was up to, however, the plans remained secret. A thing that I had often thought was nigh on impossible in Hell. Yet, I found myself still incapable of uncovering their purpose. I had to move cautiously and I will confess to feelings of dread. My position was a precarious one and I balanced keeping the Winchesters safe with my other duties.

Eventually though, I had had enough of Hell and chose to walk the surface. While I was there I was drawn to a place called Athens Ohio. There was a College near there. It was a favorite haunting site of supernatural entities. I smiled at that thought, I wondered if the builders thought that by organizing the buildings in the shape of a pentagram would have protected the students.

I walked into a bar near to the campus and spotted Dean at the counter nursing a beer. His shoulders were hunched and he wasn't trying to pick up the waitress. I raised an eyebrow at that, because she was actually pretty decent looking. I sat next to him.

"Hey," I said.

Dean looked up at me. His eyes were rimmed with sadness and I rested my hand on his arm.

"You always turn up when I need you don't you?" he commented.

"I try to," I said.

"Well," he sighed. "It's okay."

"No," I stopped him from standing. "What happened?"

"Nothing," Dean shook his head.

"This is me Dean Winchester," I tightened my grip. "I know you."  
"It's okay Kelsey," Dean shrugged.

"So what's her name?" I guessed.

Dean stared at me for a moment. "I'm not that transparent."

"Dean," I placed my chin on his shoulder. "There's a very cute waitress in this place and you've not even noticed her attempts to get your attention."

Dean frowned and glanced over at the girl. She smiled and he nodded at her. He narrowed his eyes at me. "I'm not that obvious."

"Oh but it's what we love about you darling," I teased.

"Yes, well," Dean stammered.

"What did you do? Tell her the truth?" I joked.

Dean was silent. I sat up straight for the answer was written on his face.

"Come on," I tugged on his jacket.

Dean followed as we exited the bar. We walked to where the Impala was parked and I sat on the hood of the car.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Nothing," he deflected.

"Hey," I tipped his chin toward me. "I know better. You must have really liked this girl to tell her the truth."

"Aw Kelsey," Dean looked away from me. "She was impressive. A journalism student, beautiful and intelligent."

"Just the kind of girl you've always wanted?" I offered.

"The kind of girl I never expected to get," Dean sniffed. "But it's okay."

"No it's not," I said.

He looked directly at me. He was going to bury his feelings as he usually did. I sighed.

"You know," I hopped down from the hood of the car. "One day you're going to explode."

He hugged me with one arm. "It's okay Kelsey. Look I gotta go meet Dad. You coming?"

"No," I shook my head. "The last time I spoke to your father, we got into it."

"Again?" Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Yep," I concurred. "We were arguing about Sam."

"What about Sammy?" Dean asked quietly.

"You know that your father visits your brother," I said.

"He doesn't speak to him," Dean shrugged.

"Exactly," I narrowed my eyes.

"You're not going to change his mind," Dean smirked.

"True," I nodded. "John Winchester is one stubborn bastard I'll grant you that."

Dean didn't respond. I stood there watching him for a moment. "Sam will come around you know."

"Sure," Dean kept his head lowered.

"You've tried to contact him?" I questioned.

Dean snorted, "He won't answer the phone."

"Have you called him?" I repeated.

"I know my brother Kelsey," Dean's shoulders slumped. "I better go meet up with Dad. We've got a job."

I nodded. Dean got into the car and drove off into the night. It made me curious to find Sam.

I quickly crossed the distance and saw Sam with Jessica. He looked so happy. I smiled to myself; I figured the boyfriend back home stood very little chance with Sam Winchester in the picture. I opted to leave him alone and continued on my journey. I thought that things were actually going well for them. I mean, as well as it could go given that John wasn't speaking to one of his sons and was busy hunting every supernatural thing in existence with the other. Yet I couldn't deny the happiness that was radiating from Sam. It all boiled down to choice. It always did. Micah was right.

I wandered alone on the highways for a bit. I stayed just out of sight of everyone else. I wandered through the forests that I had known so well. I found my steps returning to the grave of Sister Anthony. I knelt next to her grave and looked at the tree I had planted over it. I ran my fingers over her name; it was almost enough to make me change my mind about what I had chosen to do. I stayed there for a good while thinking about the choices I had made.

I have no concept of how much time had passed but I heard a cry in the night. I came fully awake. It was Sam. I raced to where he was and witnessed Dean pulling him out of a burning apartment. I looked around for Jessica and realized that Sam was screaming her name. I rushed into the burning building and saw that she was killed. I stood perfectly still. The spawn was there. I moved quickly outside and saw him standing there.

"You're too late," he taunted.

"What did you do?" I demanded.

"What I needed to," he shrugged.

I grabbed his neck and threw him into a tree. He recovered quickly and stayed outside of my grasp.

"He was happy!" I screamed.

"Exactly!" he shouted back.

I stopped. My eyes widened as I realized the terrible truth in that moment. "I will kill you."

"You're not allowed," the Spawn taunted.

"Want to bet," I growled.

"I need that Hell Gate open," he said.

"No demon can open that gate," I snarled.

"Exactly," he said.

"You're violating the rules," I drew my sword.

He backed away from me. "A necessary thing."

"You need the key," I said.

"I'll find it. Especially since I figured out what it is," he sneered.

It was enough to make me pause. I had caused all of it. My brilliant idea was not so brilliant after all. The demon vanished.

I walked around to the front of the building. The fire engines had shown up and were putting out the blaze. How could I go to them now? It had been too much to hope that one of the denizens of Hell wouldn't have figured it out. I needed a hunter. I needed John. I scanned the crowd and frowned. Dean was there with Sam but John wasn't present. Something felt wrong.

I drew near them and overheard Sam telling Dean that they needed to find their father. John was missing? I sincerely doubted that John was missing. He more than likely had decided that it was time to engage in his fool's errand of tracking down the thing that killed his wife. I closed my eyes for a brief second. I sat on the pavement. I had to fix this. I had to find a way to fix everything.

I heard the trunk slam shut and the car doors close hard. I watched as the taillights of the Impala drove off leaving the firemen cleaning up the remnants of the fire. John Winchester's boys were looking for him. They were looking for answers. I pulled my knees up under my chin and remembered Micah's warning about choices.

The End.


End file.
